driving someone who says they may become unconscious

[Alwaysannoyingsomeonesmomehow]

Situation is an urgent need to relocate someone and their vehicle that they can't drive, their several children and nine animals, (half are bigger ones) and possessions, from where they are now, to where they 'absolutely have to be on x date' on a very low budget.

They insist they cant fly, or split up animals and people.
Not all animals and children are expected to travel well and all will be packed into tight space. (one animal to be drugged with possible breathing side effects)
The journey they need to undertake is a minimum of 9 hours, easily up to 12.

Physical end of driving isn't an issue. (am experienced long term commercial driver and know my stuff and how to do it.)

Adult has various conditions, mainly undiagnosed, but no question that some very serious stuff seems to be happening to them.

Long history of them apparently losing consciousness and then ending up comatose from hours to days. They're saying it's normal and likely to happen at any point on this journey and all fine, the kids are used to them being unconscious (not asleep) for hours on end.

I and another driver were both originally fine to take (and care for) animals and stuff when people were all flying, but then got 'people now must travel in vehicle too' sprung on us.

We think the normalizing of someone being unconscious (and in front of the children) and being expected to say 'oh well' and carry on if that happens, is dangerous, irresponsible, and beyond acceptable.

But as a result, this (much loved) person will now turn to a non commercial driver who they don't know, who says they'll do it, and place everyone's lives in random hands.

Adult is saying being unconscious for all or part of the journey isn't life threatening, it's just how their life is, welcome to the choices they have to make all the time, and we're making too big a deal out of it. The children are all so used to it all etc. However these are the same children who can't be split from their parent,each other, or animals for the journey because of anxiety.

I get it, and bodily autonomy, but it feels like being made to accept the unacceptable because otherwise the situation may get worse.

We're now second guessing ourselves. I think we're NBU, but are we making to much out of it?

or they will pass out or come out in a nasty rash or have a howling spell that shatters windows.

How does someone bring on a nasty Rash? Wtf.

@Tonnerre

“What about the airway problem? What if this is the occasion when the unconsciousness is due to something dangerous and OP has ignored it?”

Well apparently this happens to said person regularly so I don’t see why it would suddenly be an issue?

Amaryllis I'm sorry if I'm not making things clear, I know I've ended up making some big posts defending some of the more extreme things being added as 'fact' by some and don't expect people to read it all, but pretty sure I've mentioned SS involvement further back, along with the reason to relocate is the adult recognizing structural changes are needed and wanting to improve input of help and services.
Not losing agreed educational provision is another of the pull factors but I didn't want to get into that as I can see a barrage of questions about the children and why haven't their schools been more concerned and again can only say the children present very well.

How do the children cope when the adult is passed out for hours?

How old are they?

Passthecherrycoke “What about the airway problem? What if this is the occasion when the unconsciousness is due to something dangerous and OP has ignored it?”

Well apparently this happens to said person regularly so I don’t see why it would suddenly be an issue?

This is exactly what the person was saying!
Not their exacts word but effectively: 'It happens regularly, this isn't news to you, we all used to get scared but we dont anymore, nothing bad has ever happened by ignoring it, everyone else ignores it, the children are used to it, you will need to ignore it and keep going. We must get there and together.'

Laiste two younger, two teens. Apparently they ignore and get on with stuff.

Your flowery writing style is again managing to obscure most of what you’re trying to get across, op . I’ve never read anything so convoluted...
What I’ve gleaned from your post at 7.51is that the only worry you actually have with transporting these people is the one with the health issue trying to get you to promise not to seek medical attention if anything happens to her en route. Is that it?
It really is like looking for a needle in a haystack.
And yet you just argue against the incorrect assumptions posters are makings though they were actual accusations against your relatives instead of just saying “no, that’s not what I meant, this is what I meant”.

I’m sure you’re not going to answer op but what is your relation to said person? Are you her father?

If someone became unconscious in my car I would definitely treat this as a medical emergency and seek urgent medical attention.

If I thought this was likely to happen I would insist on speaking to their doctor beforehand.

So the teens take over the care of the younger two during these episodes. Poor them. Not ideal - but it answers some glaring questions.

In the context of getting this journey over with i suppose it's a better scenario than having FOUR young ones.

Father? I was thinking sister.

@HeadintheiClouds couldn’t agree more

I've not read the full thread however I can empathise as my husband randomly goes unconscious they believe it's heart related but can't work out the actual issue. It's been happening for 22 years so yes me and the kids just carry on when it happens no drama required.

Just the OP being an experienced long term commercial driver made me think likely male.

Headintheclouds Yes I'm seeing the extreme assumptions, name calling etc, as attacks on relative and actual accusations. To Bloody right I am actually! I'm doing my best to be polite to people calling someone I love a "cunt" and more.
I'm sorry you find my writing style "flowery." No conscious writing style or good enough education to be able to make it nicely different for you. My skill's actually long distance haulage in crap terrain and conditions, not writing!

I find you and some others goady but have accepted maybe I'm causing people to behave like this, and maybe it's wrong to take the thread down, after I got what I needed from it, but actually I think some of you are just playing me and after the first couple of pages I should have said tough if it's rude.

Something I've said before but will put more plainly for you and anyone else getting upset is: If it's too difficult or annoying to read, then dont.

If you really want to know then as plain as I can be:

1. worried about drugged animal on board before any suggestion of people being added, but was prepared to plan route around knowing where veterinary assistance could be got if needed and altering timings and care for rest.

After people tried to get added:
2) worried it was totally wrong because of:
a)supposed unconsciousness without intervention
b) it being in front of the kids
c) impairing ability to do what I had agreed to - ensuring safe transport for animals.

After random drivers happy to do it and suggestions that disabled people should have 'body autonomy' others have this issue too, started me self doubting
so
3) am I being 'disablst?'

So it is just about lack of intervention for your ill relative. I wouldn’t agree to this, but if, as you say, they’ll just employ another commercial driver if you refuse (do they have the funds to do this?) then they’re probably safer with you.
I see your dilemma. What do you think would happen if the worst happened on the journey and you did seek medical aid? What would be the fall out from that, and are you prepared to take the flak?
I would, I think.

What difference does what my exact relationship to this person is or sex is, make?
Does if I should do it or not change if I'm a male or female parent, sibling or older child?

They're family, I'm not a partner or in any position of power, and they're loved, as are the kids.

It doesn't matter. But people are interested. It's human nature. We're only joe public.

If no one was interested you wouldn't have got any answers.

Has the adult been tested for pulmonary hypertension? A relative of mine has this and goes unconscious.

See, i'm thinking the same as HeadintheiClouds. Right near the start i said if they're going to do it anyway with a stranger driving then it's hard to stick to your guns and just turn away from it. Or words to that effect. Wade in, i think i said.

No, talking about a non commercial random driver who'll do it for free. No money to do more.

What do I think would happen if I said OK to it all, then tried to hit A+E/call ambulance against their express wishes?

1st, Before any 'event' an overcrowded vehicle that no human or animals exceptional needs could be coped with in.

Then trying to go to A&E /ambulance:
Children freaking out refusing to co operate. Authorities taking children? Possibly older ones taking off? Ferries missed, animal drugs wearing off, frightened kids and creatures acting up?
Situation out of control.
Massive unnecessary trauma, drama, suffering etc all caused by me not listening.

Laiste It's human nature fair enough.
(I do know responses are different according to what sex the poster is.)

I still think one of these attacks is going to be less likely with a stranger driving so I would still let them crack on. I think you are a little too close to the situation to see it clearly OP, which is understandable.

If, however, you do want to do the transport you need to make it clear that it will be happening on your terms and not theirs - because all of this is geared to getting their own way over every aspect of it. I have a relative with mental health issues who would do this, there would be many problems and dramas but it's basically about them being controlling. Sometimes you need to push back though, and this would be one of the push-back occasions.

They have created the drama by leaving everything to the last minute to make it less likely that others can refuse their requests. If you say that you will take them to a hospital if they become unconscious, I bet it happens on the boat!

Cross-post with you there, but can you not see how she (I think it is a she) has engineered the situation there to make you do what she wants?

I don't know what they have and haven't been tested for exactly.
Assume obvious stuff was long ago excluded. (know some of it was) I've been told i'ts believed to be the result of more than one condition impacting on each other.