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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel uncomfortable telling people I'm pregnant because....

181 replies

Beingrllystupid · 13/08/2019 19:36

It feels like announcing to the entire world that we've had sex?
I'm being utterly ridiculous I know but I don't want to tell my parents because of this, obviously they probably know I'm not a virgin but still

OP posts:
31RueCambon · 14/08/2019 19:12

I felt like this!

BlackSwan · 14/08/2019 19:26

Save your embarrassment for when you have to tell them you and your boyfriend split up.

yourekillingmeman · 14/08/2019 19:29

Not only have you been having sex, but it's unprotected! That's the worst admission to your parents ever Grin

Mmdck · 14/08/2019 19:57

Oh ffs ZeeZee3 stfu!!! You sound like a right miserable sod! Also, when did OP ask whether she would be unreasonable to have an abortion or keep her baby? That’s right, she didn’t! So many bullies on here. OP you do what’s right for you.

BlackSwan save your self-righteous bullsh*t for someone who actually asked for your opinion.

MrsCplus · 14/08/2019 20:00

With my 3rd and 4th child yes I did feel weird telling in laws and parents tbh, it was like announcing to them that I had being shagging my husband... alot. Hence the 4 children in 5 years😂😂. Especially when alot of people would eye me up with the kids and say "aye up you've been busy" 😂

Gilld69 · 14/08/2019 20:07

Oh dont overthink it i was only 17 when i had my first wed only been together s few monthd too, my parents were upset but they adored my dd when she arrived , your an adult snd your decision , tell them when your ready but its not all bad

Mothership4two · 14/08/2019 20:27

You exist because of sex along with billions of other human beings (plus animals, insects, etc). I don't think that is the first thing that occurs to someone when they find out someone is pregnant! People are just pleased (usually) about the baby. I expect your parents will be thrilled.

Mothership4two · 14/08/2019 20:28

@BlackSwan

Nice Hmm

OceanDreams · 14/08/2019 20:29

Do you still live with your parents? How far along are you?
I know what you mean about feeling awkward telling them, but they'll be more concerned about you and your well-being rather than the specifics of how your pregnancy came to be! Try not to worry too much.

Heartburn888 · 14/08/2019 20:37

I felt similar when I was telling people I was pregnant. I was more worried about telling people I work with because they would all know what I’d been up to ha ha it’s weird how the mind works! But it’s a natural thing and I guess I was more anxious because I work in an office with men and I take the piss and have a laugh with them I knew I’d be on the receiving end with my announcement haha

MrsG31811 · 14/08/2019 20:46

OP I felt a bit like this..
I had only been with my husband for 2 and a half months when I fell pregnant with my first.. I was also only just 17.. so telling my parents was mortifying.. but now almost 12 years later, we are married with 3 kids! It does work out sometimes, so congratulations and wishing you luck with your baby Smile

ILiveInAPineappleCoveredInSnow · 14/08/2019 20:48

I was 31, had been married for a number of years, and felt like this 😂

I was brought up a catholic which has a lot to answer for IMHO!

RelaisBlu · 14/08/2019 20:54

Your parents are more likely to focus on the fact you're having a baby with a man you have only known for 3 months

Jade218 · 14/08/2019 20:56

@Beingrllystupid I feel the same and 33, married lol

I think perhaps because growing up sec was never discussed, almost like it was taboo. These things follow through to adulthood, sadly

AGenericUsername · 14/08/2019 21:00

I know what you mean! I was expecting my first when I was 30. I got my mum to tell my dad so I didn't have to! My mum knew we had being TTC but I felt more embarrassed telling my dad. He didn't help things when we were in a bar with other family members and I was looking at the non alcoholic cocktail menu, he pointed to a 'virgin' G&T, snorted and said "ha! I don't think so!" 😳😳 even now I cringe!! I wanted the floor to open up!

RunsForGummyBears · 14/08/2019 21:07

No one will be judging you for having sex. Their eyebrows will be raised for other reasons.

Harls1969 · 14/08/2019 21:08

I worked with a lady who felt the same way and she was in her 30s! Don't worry, nobody thinks about the sex part (especially not parents!). As for only having been together for 3 months...well maybe it's not ideal, but it's happened. I'd been with my husband for 5 months when we had a contraception issue. He was 20 and I was 32 (yes, yes I know!). Bit of a shock for us AND his parents. But we've been together nearly 19 years now, are happy and love our son (as well as my older daughter) very much. Tell people! And good luck

PutsFootInIt · 14/08/2019 21:17

@yourekillingmeman , OP said she was on the pill but had been ill, which might've stopped it working.

i felt same way with both my DC because we weren't married, young(ish) and both were unplanned. Everyone was v happy for us especially our parents. I am sure your parents will be delighted.

Gentleness · 14/08/2019 21:18

The most awkward I've ever felt was teaching how humans reproduce, with a big baby bump. Primary age children. They blanched every time they looked at the belly.

SAHM2019 · 14/08/2019 21:24

I think from your parents point of view, they might be a bit concerned because you havent been with your partner very long... but that's a natural concern because they'll want the best for you and the baby and if it was my daughter I'd be thinking I hope you stay together and everything works out. But that's as far as it goes. You shouldn't feel awkward about this though, its your life and you are a grown up. Even if you fell pregnant after a one night stand and chose to have the baby, it's your life and your choice so don't be worrying.

Phoebesgift · 14/08/2019 21:46

I felt the same and I was 36!

EpicDay · 14/08/2019 21:52

Haven’t RTFT but this really made me laugh. I remember telling some colleagues once that one of the things that stopped me having a third baby was that feeling that you’re going around effectively wearing a t shirt saying “I’ve been having sex”. In my case I was 40 when my second child was born and it just felt undignified!! Of course the colleagues thought I was completely nuts and I can quite see that objectively it’s ludicrous. But very reassuring to know I’m not alone 😀

fatimashortbread · 14/08/2019 21:53

Despite a planned pregnancy I felt like this and I was 35. It’s faintly ridiculous but understandable- it wore off for me as the pregnancy went on.

CharlesLeeRay · 14/08/2019 21:56

@zeezee3

If it was me, there is no WAY I would be keeping it. Especially if I was only 22.

Such an unnecessary sentence. You don't encourage a woman to have a termination. Could you be anymore vile?

CharlesLeeRay · 14/08/2019 21:57

@BlackSwan who are you to say they will split? You can't, you don't know 🤷‍♀️