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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel uncomfortable telling people I'm pregnant because....

181 replies

Beingrllystupid · 13/08/2019 19:36

It feels like announcing to the entire world that we've had sex?
I'm being utterly ridiculous I know but I don't want to tell my parents because of this, obviously they probably know I'm not a virgin but still

OP posts:
MondeoFan · 13/08/2019 20:55

I was the same and married for 3 years and 33 years old!

Dinosforall · 13/08/2019 20:56

3 months Shock

zeezee3 · 13/08/2019 21:01

@Beingrllystupid

Agree with previous posters...

Never mind what your parents think...... YABU to be having a baby with a man you have known for 12 weeks! Confused How can it POSSIBLY be the 'right thing for you both' to be bringing a baby into this insanely short relationship? Confused

If it was me, there is no WAY I would be keeping it. Especially if I was only 22.

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 13/08/2019 21:03

Yeah I get you - I was 34 and remember thinking omg this is the first time I'm providing real evidence to my parents i've had sex.
Couldn't give a sh2t now 20 years and two children later I wonder what I was being so precious about. It kind of doesn't matter what my parents think. But I do get where you're at.

Vasya · 13/08/2019 21:04

The fact that you've only been together for 3 months is likely to be of much greater concern to your parents than the fact that you've had sex Shock

marthamatilda · 13/08/2019 21:09

can't believe how massively insensitive some of these comments are

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 13/08/2019 21:18

The fact that you've only been together for 3 months is likely to be of much greater concern to your parents than the fact that you've got pregnant

Rubbish I was with my partner four years before getting married and having children - and it all fell apart spectacularly. You can't abbot generalise about these things.

EllesBells123 · 13/08/2019 21:20

Congratulations! Just a bit of positivity for you...my now husband and I fell with our first after knowing each other three months. When you know, you know, we were already living together and it was pretty clear by then that we would end up married with children, it just all happened rather fast and out of order. I hope it's the same for you. Also telling your parents is never easy no matter how old you are. All the best x

JellyPeanut · 13/08/2019 21:24

I felt exactly the same too only it was when I was out pushing the pram as a new mother - thinking everyone knew what I'd been up to to put a baby in that crib... Blush

JapaneseBirdPainting · 13/08/2019 21:25

When DH and I got married (we were 'late' to marry.... mid-50s for him) people would ask us if we would try and have a baby. I would say ; 'Yes, but don't tell my dad because he thinks we are just platonic friends'.

I found that amusing anyway...

AmIAWeed · 13/08/2019 21:27

Anyone on here claiming you're wrong for being pregnant after 3 months is out of order, ignore them. I was 18 when I was pregnant with my eldest. My Grandad said "we'll we all knew you weren't playing tidlywinks of an evening" I was mortified!!!!

It didn't work out with my children's Dad, but I have two awesome kids. Not everything happens in the 'right' way but it doesn't make it wrong, as long as it's right for you.

Branleuse · 13/08/2019 21:29

Noone cares that people have sex.

itsgoodtobehome · 13/08/2019 21:35

22 and with someone for 3 months. Really? Ffs grow up and get some ambition and go out and live life first.

Rubicon80 · 13/08/2019 21:39

I mean in this day and age it's not even necessarily the case. Loads of IVF babies around.

marthamatilda · 13/08/2019 21:45

do people really not think a 22 year old is capable making the right decisions?? ridiculous

MagicMojito · 13/08/2019 21:51

Fucks sake how unsupportive are some of these comments. Yes 3 months is an incredibly short amount of time to be having a baby together, but having a long relationship with house, marriage etc is no guarantee to a happy ending. Half the threads on this site should be proof enough for that Hmm

OP, I was 22 when I had my youngest. Yes, me and her dad are still together (have been together over a decade now) and that's great, but whether our relationship would have survived or not is COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT to whether I was ready to be a mum at that age or not. Do you feel ready to be a mum? Do you feel you can offer a child a home that they will be safe and loved in? That's all that matters here. Bollocks to people's judgements on the 3 months.

Good luck Flowers

Camomila · 13/08/2019 21:52

Although thinking about it you could be a virgin and have DC these days (sperm donation, ICSI etc)

IAintWroteNoPoetry · 13/08/2019 21:55

Bloody hell some people are horrible. Ignore anyone telling you YABU to have a baby, Congratulations OP!.

MrsLoganEcholls · 13/08/2019 21:55

I know what you mean. I've never actually said the words 'I'm pregnant' to my parents.
I've got three kids, so the first time I gave them a photo frame with the 12 week scan.
The second time I got my firstborn, who was 4, to give them a card with the scan inside.
And the third time, I let DS1 and DD1 run into the room and announce it before I walked into the room...

sugarplumfairy28 · 13/08/2019 22:08

Just wanted to say I fell pregnant at 22, and had been with the guy 3 months, had known him a lot longer though. This year we celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. While it is common that very short relationships don't withstand the immediate stress and pressure of becoming a family, you never know, and if you feel its the right thing then give it everything you've got!

I do get the whole announcing you've had sex thing, although luckily everyone does just gloss over it.

Limt · 13/08/2019 22:14

Croquembou am I reading correctly? Is your DH's best friend really 12 years old?

Limt · 13/08/2019 22:16

I worked with a girl who said she would never wear an engagement ring because everyone would know you were going to get married and have sex.

zeezee3 · 13/08/2019 22:19

@WineIsMyCarb

I am a mother of 2. I run a business, have a mortgage, a food plan on the wall, various loyalty cards, I even remember to feed the cat...

... but a very childish part of me when I see a pregnant woman mentally sings "ha ha, I know you had se-exxxx". Grin

Really? Confused

How bizarre. And very childish. Why is it so weird or funny for adults to have sex?

zeezee3 · 13/08/2019 22:21

@Limt

I worked with a girl who said she would never wear an engagement ring because everyone would know you were going to get married and have sex.

WTAF? Confused

Was this the 1830s?

Never heard anyone IN MY LIFE speak such utter bollocks.

zeezee3 · 13/08/2019 22:21

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