To feel uncomfortable telling people I'm pregnant because....

[Beingrllystupid]

It feels like announcing to the entire world that we've had sex?
I'm being utterly ridiculous I know but I don't want to tell my parents because of this, obviously they probably know I'm not a virgin but still

[DelurkingAJ]

I had a well timed baby (from a work perspective) and TWO male colleagues cheerfully said ‘well timed, you must have thought it out carefully’.

I refrained with some difficulty in asking why they were asking about my sex life.

[DressingGown]

I felt the same at 36. What made it worse was my dad then saying “well done,” to dp! Congratulations btw

[WineIsMyCarb]

@zeezee3 Make sure you don't take anything lighthearted ZeeZee, you might have a laugh!

[Chista]

I felt exactly the same way and I was 37 when we told our parents.

[Lowlandlucky]

12 weeks together and you are pregnant ! I would bo panicking if i was your parent

[Lifecraft]

The fact that you've only been together for 3 months is likely to be of much greater concern to your parents than the fact that you've got pregnant

Rubbish I was with my partner four years before getting married and having children - and it all fell apart spectacularly. You can't abbot generalise about these things.

Well you can. If you have a baby at 22 with someone you've know for 3 months, that relationship is far less likely to survive than having a baby with someone who you married after knowing them for 4 years.

I don't see how anyone can dispute that. So what if one person had sex on the top deck of a bus 5 mins after meeting them, had a baby and stayed together for 50 years. The plural of anecdote isn't data.

[Fizzpopwhizzbang]

Tell them you're a virgin and it's a miracle baby. Deny, deny, deny!

[Sceptre86]

I was nervous and didn't want to tell my dad the first time for this exact reason. Dh told me to get a grip as we were married and clearly at it. I was fine telling my dad when I was expecting my second. Yabu but that's ok.

[Lifecraft]

As a parent of adult children, I would be very worried if I thought that for any reason they weren't having sex. I would assume that there were problems in their relationship.

[justrestinginmybankaccount]

I absolutely 100% had this too!!!! felt like I was basically saying “I had sex”

[pollymere]

I felt that way the first few times I stayed over at my parents after I got married. It's part of your changing relationship into proper adulthood. Start with your Mum...if she hasn't realized already!

[Molly564]

@LemonTreeLemon yes i was also 31 and married and felt the same 😂😂.

Even my boss... he’s only 10 years older than me and has 2 children but i still felt odd telling him 😂😂

[Babysharkdoodoodoodoodoo]

I haven't read the whole thread but whoever said OP was BU to have the baby is being a complete dick. It's her choice whether to have the baby or not, no matter how long she's been in the relationship.

OP, YANBU to feel like that, but if you're mature enough to have sex, you have to deal with the consequences, and that includes pregnancy and everything that comes with it. Most 22 year olds are having sex so it's nothing unusual.

[Loveyou3000]

YABU for feeling this way, to be honest OP, but only in an irrational sense, not that you're purposefully being silly. No one cares and it certainly is not where my mind immediately goes to when someone announces they're pregnant. I think a lot of people would be surprised if a 22 year old had not had sex. Only a very immature person would say it to you if you tell them you are pregnant, too. I would suggest that perhaps you are nervous about the overall situation and projecting that all onto a total non-issue as a distraction?

Figure out how you're going to tell people and how you and the father progress from here, worrying about people thinking you've had sex is not helpful.

PP, give OP some credit, she's obviously thought this through. If they spilt up, so what, she won't be the world's first single parent. If they stay together, great. Also not unheard of for people in this situation to make it long term, not the usual but it's not totally out of the question. She'll probably get this lecture from other people she doesn't need it from MN, said by people who don't know her or the actual situation when that isn't the question she asked. What do you want her to do? Have an abortion? Carry to term and put her child up for adoption? Very unreasonable to suggest that, and if not you're just being goady when she can't change the situation she's in

[coconuttelegraph]

It's not being a dick to be concerned about the likliehood of a sucessful long term relationship when it starts with a pregnancy after 12 weeks and conception no more than 10 weeks into the relationship.

That's barely even time to get to know the basics about someone, let alone have time for serious conversations about having a child.

It doesn't matter if it worked for individual posters, statistically the relationship doesn't have a great future.

Babyshark she didn't make a choice, it was a contraceptive failure

[JinglingHellsBells]

Yes I felt like this and was in my 30s. Lots of women think like this.

[BossAssBitch]

I disagree babyshark, I think its my duty as a wise and experienced 45 yr old woman to point out to a 22 yr old who has been with her boyfriend for a mere 12 weeks that she may regret it. Of course its her choice, but my opinion, which I am entitled to give, is that having a baby is a huge life changing commitment for a couple who barely know each other, and the odds of it working out are hugely stacked against them.

[nuxe1984]

I don't think the issue is with you being concerned that they'd know you had sex.

I think the issue is more that you are not comfortable telling them you're pregnant with somebody you've only known for 3 months.

[TheSecondMrsAshwell]

Many years ago, a neighbour of ours, who had 3 late teenage daughters, fell pregnant (can only assume that she thought she was beyond that).

The news went round like wildfire on the the estate where we lived. You could almost hear the hum of lowered voices coming out of windows. Except my DAunt, who was discussing it in the street with another family member.

"Well," announced my DAunt, loudly, "we all know what SHE'S been getting up to."

[marthamatilda]

yes @BossAssBitch, I too think it is my duty as a wise and experienced woman to give people on the internet my advice they didn't ask for, I'm sure the op really hadn't realised that having a baby is a life changing commitment

[Nearly47]

My grandmother felt that way but she was born around 1930. People probably would judge you more if were not having sex. Good luck with your baby. Don't be embarrassed

[81Byerley]

I was the same when expecting my first baby!

[ahmadsmom2015]

I totally understand from a conservative side of things, you will need to tell them somehow so why not talk about it rather than start off with I’m pregnant.

[ItsClemFandangoCanYouHearMe]

I actually get this. I was 24 when I was pregnant with my first and after many boyfriends, one of my first thoughts was "oh my god my mum will know I've had sex!"


...she knew 😂

[Jessie94]

You're not being unreasonable to not want to tell people but you are very VV unreasonable to not want to tell your parents.

I started trying for a baby at 18 and finally fell pregnant at 21. I never really spoke about it because I didn't like essentially telling people that he would cum inside me on a regular basis...