I'm 30 and dating a 19 year old

[Luciferthethird]

That's it really, I've 2 DC's they've not been introduced yet, still too early for that. We've been dating for about 3 weeks. He's lovely and he keeps telling me the age gap doesn't bother him.
My sister has the exact same age gap between herself and her partner but somehow that seems more acceptable when it's the man that's older. I just need a sounding board really.

YABU. 3 weeks, of course he hasn't been introduced to your DC. No responsible parent would ever do that. It has nothing to do with you being a woman.
Is this thread meant to be in AIBU or AMA?

What’s wrong with him that makes him unable to get a girlfriend his own age?

when i was 21 my fella was 30.my da refused to shake his hand when met him-suggested they went outside....left front door open and made no bones about saying.."what thehell are you doing with my dd?..dp responded.."i love her" dad said.."leave her alone then.she was 9 when you were 20. i wont ever approve of THAT.you're fookin 30 man!!..youve bin around the block..will i count to 3 or are you walking.
at 21 i was outraged and horrified.at 24 my dad had died,dp left.wasnt until i was 30 i realised EXACTLY what dad meant. ..as a ma of two boys...i would swing you to be honest.sorry love.

inappropriate

No, it’s not.

All of those saying it’s yucky have obviously never had the pleasure of being with a younger man! My DH is delicious compared to all the old farts my friends are married to!

We’ve been together over a decade and for us it works wonderfully! I think it could work for OP too but children add a bit more of a complication to it.

In the words of Sylvia Plath:

Ich ich ich.

Enjoy it, keep your kids well away from it, enjoy it some more

😃💕😃

OP for all we know you could look 20! And the 19 year old could be like a 40 yo man! I’ve known men like this... it all depends on the individual I think. Good luck with it. X

Eww.

I couldnt date a 19 year old. I think its gross whether its a 30 year old man or 30 year old woman dating a 19 year old.

Seems weird. I'm 29 with a DC and I wouldn't date anyone that age, 19 year olds seem like children to me. A 19 year old isn't going to want to spend his weekends playing families with a single mum and her kids once the novelty has worn off.

neverdrinkingagain66 What? To be a what you suggest she would need to be dating a child, unless that’s the case it’s okay to be with another adult even if they are younger or older than yourself.

This was me 12 years ago. We are still together, married with DC. It can work, honestly the age gap has never been an issue but I can forsee it becoming so now I'm in my forties...maybe not now but when I hit 50 perhaps.

I always wonder what you can have in common with someone so much younger. If it were the other way round, I’d be thinking ‘It’s for the sex’. I’m cynical but even a mature 19 year old (that’s still virtually a child in my mind) can’t be compared to someone of 30.

Fuck that as I pull my judgy pants up.

As a mother of a near 19 yr old I would be very unimpressed if he rocked up with a 30 yr old woman who had two kids.

I would wonder what on earth that woman saw in my son besides probably a good shag !

Its not wrong because of the age gap. I mean who cares?

It's wrong because you are hoping it results in you becoming a family and a young person who hasn't even spread their wings and experienced real freedom, should not have that responsibility on foisted on them. He's not even 21. And even if you wait a few years...he'll be helping you raise 2 children at 22 max.

It's unethical. Imagine how you'd feel if your DD or DS came home and said not just that they are dating a 30 year old, but that it's all A ok because they've not been introduced to the children yet?

I know I'd sit my son down and I'd be furious at the woman.

Meh, as long as you're both in the relationship with eyes open then fine. It's too early to introduce children yet.

My friend has been happily married to a man 12 years her junior for a decade. I can't get worked up about the age difference.

He's 19, not long left school and still lives with his parents.

What do you see in him?

Ugh grim. Your life, all legal but i have had a son this age and welcomed his friends into our home. Ive also been 30. Sorry wouldn’t work for me.

Don’t expect anything from him other than teaching him a few tricks in the bedroom.

I wouldn't have been attracted to a 19-year-old when I was 30, but he's a grown man, so whatever floats your boat. Also, I've known 19-year-olds who are childish idiots and 19-year-olds who are really sensible and mature, so it just depends on the individual really.

As others have said, however, you've only been together three weeks which is honestly nothing in relationship terms, so just see how it goes.

@Skittlenommer you sound a bit noncey

@neverdrinkingagain66 This is such an out of order thing to say to Skittle. They are both adults.

OP, I agree with a PP - enjoy it while it lasts if that's what's making you happy but keep your kids well away.

SomeAfternoonDelight
Thanks I'm often told I don't look 30 (I definitely think I do though) I go to the gym I've got curves but I keep myself fit and active.
I spend more time with people his age than my own working in retail has this unfortunate side effect. I was alienated from most of my old friends in my past relationship other than 3 people who I'm still very close to (2 of them don't live in the country) but when my ex and I split up I relied on people I worked with and my 22 year old sister for friendships. Men my own age bore me, I've yet to meet one who doesn't go on about their ex and how much they ruined their lives.
I dunno I guess I'm just making excuses.

He makes me smile and I'm comfortable in his company 🤷

My guess is he is in it for the sex and nothing else. No halfway sensible 19 year old is interested in taking on another man's children.

All of those saying it’s yucky have obviously never had the pleasure of being with a younger man! My DH is delicious compared to all the old farts my friends are married to!

Ah - so to him, you’re the ‘old fart’. Lovely. Personally I’d rather have a partner my own age so I need to be neither with an old fart or one myself 🤷🏻‍♀️