To have kicked off at in-laws?

[Xen20]

I’m so pissed off. I’m in sick at the moment with stress, I hate my job. I can’t face going back to it.

DH has called me Brian for years. I always hated it but it was a stupid joke that never fucking went away so in the end I just ignored it. He did however, get his entire family to call me Brian too so obviously I just avoid socialising with them.

Yesterday I had to go as it was a child’s birthday. As I said I’m off with stress at the minute so a bit sensitive I suppose. We knocked on door and I head the kids shouting that Dave and Brian we’re here. I ignored it. Got inside, MIL said that some friends were coming over and she would have to introduce us. I said “well introduce me as Ayesha then”. She pulled a face and asked if I’d gotten out the wrong side of the bed. Friends arrive. MIL promptly introduces us as Dave and B ... Ayesha. She then adds “but everyone calls her Brian”.

She snapped and said this bullshit stops now. It’s gone on for too long and was never funny to begin with. Now DH and I are not talking as he said I made a scene at a child’s birthday. I give up.

A poster has outlined a situation that clearly upsets her; she is off work with stress and now a number of other posters are gleefully calling her 'Brian' and congratulating one another on their 'hilarious' joke. Surely it's only a joke if everyone is laughing? If the butt of the joke is upset by it, it's disrespectful and unpleasant to keep on. Not everyone shares the same sense of humour and seeing people openly laugh at someone who is unhappy, is not a nice experience.

Good for you. This Brian thing is puerile and has gone on long enough. Maybe they will sit up and listen now.
Your husband should be supporting you.

The husband is to blame here surely, without him calling the OP Brian nobody else would have, it’s just a name that stuck because he didn’t listen to his wife.

It’s him you should be angry with. Why Brian anyway? What has it got to do with your hair?

Your husband should be supporting you

It’s his bloody fault.

I have long black curly hair. I swear to god I feel like shaving it off. I once told DH that I was going to shave my head and he said “oh great! Then you will be Sinead!”

No, that's unacceptable behaviour on the part of MIL. It's bullying behaviour, when you had specifically asked to be introduced by your name.
Tell your DH you will call him Matilda from now on, and tell him your family will call him that from now on too. It would be nice to see his reaction. This is a family of bullies. They know you avoid them because of this. It is never the right time to put up with bullying. And its nothing to do with stress. They see you as a weak person who can be bullied, it is not funny.

The problem is that, with unpleasant people like this, if they do stop calling you that stupid name, it will be all “oooooh dont call OP anything other than her name. She’s sooooo sensitive. It was only a joke” which is, of course, the most common things for bullies to do. You cant win with horrible personalities like these.

An unfortunate moment to lose it op but perhaps time to re evaluate your life.

Change his name by deed poll to Fanny.

once told DH that I was going to shave my head and he said “oh great! Then you will be Sinead!”
You need to understand that you shouldn't be with someone who makes you feel like shit .
I've met people like this before putting their partner down and making hilarious comments (not) about others .
He's a bully !!

Your husband is cruel and demeaning. The Brian thing keeps you in your place and he gets a mild kick from using a male name (particularly one people laugh at when they think of the film, “The Life of Brian”) to make you look silly.

Woah you’re looking into it way too deeply. It just seems like a bit of a laugh. OP isn’t BU to be annoyed by it but to call it ‘cruel’ and to say he’s ‘keeping her in her place’ is a bit much

Depends on the provenance, wouldn't you say? I can remember the name Brian being used to imply someone was really really thick. I'd say that was pretty cruel.

I would be annoyed! How you haven't snapped before is beyond me, and your DH Not having your back is beyond me. Start calling him Linda, and get everyone to do the same then see how long he lasts.... 💗💗 Hope you're okay 💝🎀

I would have been much much ruder and in front of all the kids too. I'd probably have called the husband and MIL a pair of outstanding cunts and walked out to spend the day elsewhere ffs.

I would have said “no everyone does not call me Brian, only arseholes do”

Is he an amazing dh in other ways, because I'm struggling to see why you would put up with this year on year? He sounds like a bullying fuckwit.

Your DH doesn't sound nice.

Why are you still with him? He doesn't care about your feelings.

Ah, Brian May! I get it now. Still not cool.

Your DH is a bully. Tell him to cut it out or move out.

Did this start before or after he became your husband? If before then why would you marry him? The whole thing is really odd.

Your husband sounds hilarious

OP, your husband is really committed to nicknaming you, isn’t he!
He’s been doing something that shits you, you snap - then he says you are being unreasonable? And he’s giving you the silent treatment while you’re off work on stress?
Forgive yourself for blowing up, it’s completely understandable. Maybe you should have a massive fight every time he nicknames you, so he can decide what’s really important to him- respecting you or needling you?

Wrong place to kick off, but apart from that no, YANBU. It may be a joke to them but if you really do not like it they need to stop - especially DH.