To have kicked off at in-laws?

[Xen20]

I’m so pissed off. I’m in sick at the moment with stress, I hate my job. I can’t face going back to it.

DH has called me Brian for years. I always hated it but it was a stupid joke that never fucking went away so in the end I just ignored it. He did however, get his entire family to call me Brian too so obviously I just avoid socialising with them.

Yesterday I had to go as it was a child’s birthday. As I said I’m off with stress at the minute so a bit sensitive I suppose. We knocked on door and I head the kids shouting that Dave and Brian we’re here. I ignored it. Got inside, MIL said that some friends were coming over and she would have to introduce us. I said “well introduce me as Ayesha then”. She pulled a face and asked if I’d gotten out the wrong side of the bed. Friends arrive. MIL promptly introduces us as Dave and B ... Ayesha. She then adds “but everyone calls her Brian”.

She snapped and said this bullshit stops now. It’s gone on for too long and was never funny to begin with. Now DH and I are not talking as he said I made a scene at a child’s birthday. I give up.

I think your dh is the dick in all this he started it and is now berating you for trying to end it

Quite frankly whether people think the OP was right or not to kick off the way she did is irrelevant now, because its done. Berating someone about it after the fact isn’t really helping them in any way, because they can’t go back and change it.

What the OP needs help in now is how to handle things from here.

It’s clear her DH is the cause of all this so she needs to start with him and ensure he fully understands that had his behaviour up until this point, not been that of an immature twat, then it wouldn’t have come to this in the first place. And that rather than compounding her stress by being a dickhead, he along with his family, should be supporting her and trying to help make things less stressful.

The fact he knows it really irritates you but still does it says alot. Ask him why he would keep it up eventhough he knows it irritates you, ask him why he purposely tries to irritate and embarrass you?

How many times does OP have to say she asked them numerous times to stop and they continued anyway and she stopped visiting them because of it?

Come on..

I get on with my mil but I also know how annoying it is when someone calls you a name they know you don’t like. It’s childish af. I had a classmate who went out of his way on a consistent basis to mispronounce my name. It was annoying but I was in the right mind not to rise to it.

OP was not and even when she asked her mil to call her by her name, mil still added the nickname in at op’s expense. People have breaking points even more so when they’re already feeling low. Yes, her dh has quite a bit to answer for but so does mil in this situation by openly disregarding her request. Let’s hope they actually listened this time.

I’m curious though, what was said right after you said to stop it?

I doubt we'll ever know @phoenixrosehere, OP seems to have disappeared.

OP this is awful and you shouldn’t have to put up with it. Your self esteem is taking a battering; this won’t help you cope with work-related stress and you are entangled in a lot of negativity. You need to deal with your relationship first and foremost. You could resort to name-calling, Dick is very appropriate, but it doesn’t solve anything long term. This is about respect, I suspect (sadly) that you would have far better MH if you escaped this relationship. You deserve better, but right now focus everything on becoming strong (emotionally and physically) again, put yourself first, give yourself space, be kind to yourself and don’t allow this behaviour to doubt your self worth. Once you feel strong, when you can think rationally and pragmatically, look at your options, work out what you want and need, go and live your life

FWIW I firmly believe that when people treat you badly, they lose the right to expect you to behave impeccably at all times. They should never have put you in that position, children’s party or not!!

How are things now op? Hopefully they're now treating you with the respect you deserve xx

Your DP should of stuck up for you - I think you had the right to snap. Hopefully they won't do it again :)

6 of one, half a dozen of another.

You shouldn't have kicked off but you're under stress... what is THEIR excuse for acting like a bunch of bullies for the last few years?

And your DH can f*k too. He should never have continued this idiotic hurtful game and you should have put a stop to it years ago.

You need to call a family meeting and apologise, explain you are unwell.and take responsibility for your behaviour BUT if they all continue with this game you will call them choice names EVERY time you come in to contact with them and mean it.

Make it clear: enough is enough.

Your DP should of stuck up for you

Her "D"P is the one who came up with the nickname though

just popped on here to say I call my mum Brian, and she calls me Clive. I don’t even remember where it came from. I guess they’re just funny names !!