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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have kicked off at in-laws?

336 replies

Xen20 · 12/08/2019 16:12

I’m so pissed off. I’m in sick at the moment with stress, I hate my job. I can’t face going back to it.

DH has called me Brian for years. I always hated it but it was a stupid joke that never fucking went away so in the end I just ignored it. He did however, get his entire family to call me Brian too so obviously I just avoid socialising with them.

Yesterday I had to go as it was a child’s birthday. As I said I’m off with stress at the minute so a bit sensitive I suppose. We knocked on door and I head the kids shouting that Dave and Brian we’re here. I ignored it. Got inside, MIL said that some friends were coming over and she would have to introduce us. I said “well introduce me as Ayesha then”. She pulled a face and asked if I’d gotten out the wrong side of the bed. Friends arrive. MIL promptly introduces us as Dave and B ... Ayesha. She then adds “but everyone calls her Brian”.

She snapped and said this bullshit stops now. It’s gone on for too long and was never funny to begin with. Now DH and I are not talking as he said I made a scene at a child’s birthday. I give up.

OP posts:
CalamityJune · 12/08/2019 16:57

It's your husband's fault. Stop blaming your MIL.

gungera · 12/08/2019 16:58

@raffle 😂

TriciaH87 · 12/08/2019 16:59

He has belittled you along with his family for ages. Of course your going to snap eventually. Start calling him Bella bitch it's what we called the bossy one from the tweenies. Get your family in on it and see how he likes it.

Travis1 · 12/08/2019 16:59

YWBU to kick off at a childs party. You do however, have to have an adult conversation with your husband and get him and his family to stop calling you fucking Brian Confused

Davespecifico · 12/08/2019 17:00

Your husband is cruel and demeaning. The Brian thing keeps you in your place and he gets a mild kick from using a male name (particularly one people laugh at when they think of the film, “The Life of Brian”) to make you look silly.

Do you like him? Is be otherwise respectful and kind?

WorraLiberty · 12/08/2019 17:00

Who snapped?

You or her?

WorraLiberty · 12/08/2019 17:01

But you shouldn't have made a scene at a child's birthday party.

You've had enough time to put a stop to this or refuse to go in the first place.

Cocolapew · 12/08/2019 17:02

Raffle 😂

Morgan12 · 12/08/2019 17:04

Why Brian?

Hilolilo · 12/08/2019 17:04

You're not unreasonable to want to be called your proper name.

You are unreasonable to kick off at a family party.
I agree

VenusTiger · 12/08/2019 17:04

Leave your job. Let someone else have it. It’ll help you massively if you hate it and are off sick with stress.
Take care of yourself and take control.
The Brian thing was obviously a joke, but some things get tedious after so long, so yanbu there.
You’re also feeling sensitive at the moment.

Atalune · 12/08/2019 17:05

raffle GrinHa ha!

Your dh calls you Brian, and you don’t like it, so instead of asking everyone to stop calling you it, firstly your DH, you instead hold onto this resentment and anger and then flip out at a child’s party?

You have had a total sense of humour failure.

CocoLoco87 · 12/08/2019 17:06

Brian Grin I'm sure this is really upsetting but this has made me chuckle. It's like one of those t-rexing/ Sharon/ snapped and farted threads.

Why on earth are you called Brian? I think if they insist on calling you Brian (Grin) when they know you dont like it, then they don't get to decide when you've had enough and will snap. They can't treat you like this and not expect a reaction at some point! Bit rich to say you've made a scene when they are the mean ones.

Hilolilo · 12/08/2019 17:06

Your husband is cruel and demeaning. The Brian thing keeps you in your place and he gets a mild kick from using a male name (particularly one people laugh at when they think of the film, “The Life of Brian”) to make you look silly.

Woah you’re looking into it way too deeply. It just seems like a bit of a laugh. OP isn’t BU to be annoyed by it but to call it ‘cruel’ and to say he’s ‘keeping her in her place’ is a bit much

HaileySherman · 12/08/2019 17:06

You asked her to introduce you as Ayesha, obviously because you didn't want to be called Brian. She was being rude to throw in the comment about what you're called knowing you don't want to be called it. Maybe explain to her that although she acts like an ignorant bitch, you don't introduce her that way because it's rude.

CruellaFeinberg · 12/08/2019 17:06

8Your DH is an idiot! Just stop answering him...every single time he calls you fucking Brian!!! What a cock! If he doesn't stop, call him Dickhead...and tell everyone to call him 'Dick' until he gets the message!! *

Call him cunt - he'll react more to that, and it will have more impact

then say "If you don't like it, that's how I feel about Brian and everytime you call me Brian, I will answer with what do you want Cunt?"

dottiedodah · 12/08/2019 17:07

I think as soon as the "Brian" nonsense started ,I would have nipped it in the bud there and then TBH .Its not a joke if you dont like it .However he is in the wrong here really ,your In laws are just doing what he said .There is an old adage that calling someone by the wrong name gets them at a disadvantage in Business .Is your relationship good or are you in a more "junior " position to him?.Maybe you should call him by a girls name and see if he likes or finds it funny!

HeadintheiClouds · 12/08/2019 17:08

Your dh sounds like a tedious twat, getting his entire family to call you Brian when he was well aware that you didn’t find the “joke” amusing.
What’s wrong with him?

1arlingtonroad · 12/08/2019 17:10

You have had a total sense of humour failure.
Really, the op is off her work sick with stress at the moment so I’m sure she can be forgiven for not being a barrel of laughs.

Fluffycloudland77 · 12/08/2019 17:12

Oh god they sound like those awful people you work with who say “I’m a bit mad me”.

No, no your not carol. I guarantee your favourite biscuit is a custard cream & you watch all the soaps. And the omnibus.

Yanbu.

NoSauce · 12/08/2019 17:13

This is odd. Why did you stop seeing his family instead of telling to call you whatever your name is?

And why haven’t you put a stop to it with your husband? There’s going to be a huge drip feed isn’t there?

Hotpinkangel19 · 12/08/2019 17:16

Sorry but 🤣
YWU to kick of at a children's party.

Atalune · 12/08/2019 17:16

Why go to the party? Why not say- I’m not up to it? Why get the shits with MIL who as far as we know may well think BriAn is the pet name? And she merely made a slight slip.

It’s so overblown.

fedup21 · 12/08/2019 17:17

This is bizarre. Why does your DH call you Brian?

She snapped and said this bullshit stops now

Why did she snap? What did she mean? It sounds like it was her who made the scene?

Pud2 · 12/08/2019 17:19

It sounds like it was just the straw that broke the camel’s back and MIL unfortunately got it in the neck. Maybe it would’ve been better to avoid the party, with hindsight, if you’re struggling at the moment.

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