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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think Sil's present makes her a cheeky f**cker!

228 replies

RandomeUsername · 12/08/2019 12:56

Sil got DH a family photo package present for his birthday. Nice present because we have a young dc. But it's in the city thats near to her and mil and an hour and a half away from us. She also has said to arrange it with her when we go because she wants to be in the photos. AIBU to think that's quite cheeky of her?

OP posts:
Lemoneeza · 13/08/2019 18:10

A present is not a present if you have to go out of your way to make use of it and/or end up out of pocket. It's just a pain in the arse.
Do think that you should accept that you won't win against sil. It's a waste of energy trying. Go for as minimal contact as possible and definitely no family money spent on her nonsense.

Benjispruce · 13/08/2019 18:13

No it's a gift, a nice family photo and you have no right to dictate the value or type of gift you are given. You're the CF!

PeppyPiggy · 13/08/2019 18:21

Shit if you don’t get on and probably not very aware of her. I adore my SIL so would be great for us, and anyone else with a better situation. What are you going to do? Go along and make a day of it in the area doing fun things ?

Nearly47 · 13/08/2019 18:31

I'd let him go alone take the picture with his sister and mum. So it would be their family photo and not yours?

GettickledGETTICKLEDbyspiders · 13/08/2019 18:37

Go along but wear really bad clothes, unbrushed hair and dodgy makeup, kids can wear pj’s.
She how she likes that in a frame on her fireplace.

LazyLizzy · 13/08/2019 18:42

Is it Venture?

OP we were given a photo gift years ago like this.

Apart from the free 8x10, the minimum package was £1000.

You will be talked into interest free monthly payments because the pictures of your DC are so good. You won't want to say no.

Don't do it. Take your own pictures and save a fortune.

MaybeitsMaybelline · 13/08/2019 18:52

Shit present. Something she wanted not him, and something she is using.

I would have the pictures taken and only buy the ones without her in it.

Tistheseason17 · 13/08/2019 18:53

Just say, NO. It's quite liberating.

somethingfancy · 13/08/2019 18:59

Benjispruce

somethingfancy · 13/08/2019 19:00

Sorry, meant to say I completely disagree with Benjispruce!
SIL is being ridiculous.

OVienna · 13/08/2019 19:01

I was coming on to say what @wibbletooth said: tell her that your experience of these 'gifts' is that there is almost always an additional cost once you get there and is there a chance you can review the contract/call them first to check as these things can run to hundreds of pounds.

If it's a legit gift, this shouldn't be an issue. I wouldn't have any hesitation putting my foot down. It would cost you an absolute fortune to get wrong. I have experience of Venture, it took me weeks to shake off the 'free gift' session.

Imbananas · 13/08/2019 19:03

Yeah I think she is self centred actually.

We bought a spa voucher for SIL’s bday once but chose a spa close to where she lived. She didn’t even said thank you for it thinking about it. 🙄

OVienna · 13/08/2019 19:05

Do you have access to any of the documentation and/or do you know who it's through? If it's a real package then it's a bit annoying that it's so far away and also a bit weird she wants to be in it. But not off the scale weird, I guess.

If she has purchased a 'package' maybe you will leave with some photos as part of it.

My parents did get us a real package one time - the guy took the photos and that was that.

NarcolepticOuchMouse · 13/08/2019 19:05

Given her previous form I would say yes, she's a cf. It doesn't seem like she's gotten that gift because she thought your DH would like it but rather it's something she wants to do and that's why it's in a more convenient location for her than him. If it were my OH he'd just never arrange it. But then he wouldn't tolerate any of her other nonsense either.

Greyponcho · 13/08/2019 19:07

Sounds like she’s got a deal on groupon tbh

Ihatesundays · 13/08/2019 19:10

I haven’t read the whole thread...
However my SIL bought my PIL a photography package for Xmas one year.
She then suggested we all went into a photo, and so photo of PIL alone was very rushed as was group photo.
She then got the photographer to spend 90% of the booked time taking photographs of her children alone.

She was then furious we didn’t all want to buy multiple photos (as it would bring the price down for her).
PIL were bullied into buying a few - because the present didn’t include it!
We refused - the group photo was truly awful.

greenwaterbottle · 13/08/2019 19:13

Can you ring the company, plead ignorance and ask for more details.

Re presents, agree a firm limit that your happy with.

Devora13 · 13/08/2019 19:26

If she bought chocolates would you have to go to collect them and save half the top row for her? Hmm

Elsie1966 · 13/08/2019 20:53

My son bought me a photo shoot for my 50th and I insisted on having it as a family photo shoot which included my dc & dg sorry op I think yababu

Kingk1 · 13/08/2019 21:53

That's shit, so she buys him a present that's convenient to where she lives and u will hve to pick a date and time that suits her cos she wants to be in photos wtf?? When he gets present I would book without letting her know. Is the present for her or him? You obviously don't get on ?

Original poster
RandomeUsername · 13/08/2019 22:46

My DH asked for more details and it's with a company called venture photography.

OP posts:
Original poster
RandomeUsername · 13/08/2019 22:51

Benjispruce
you have no right to dictate the value or type of gift you are given I don't, it's Sil that tries to tell us what to buy her. Sulking if we don't get her what she wants. She is trying to dictate the terms of the gift she has given to my DH. Saying she will be in it and at a time and place that's convenient for her. Does CF mean something different to you?

OP posts:
PanamaPattie · 13/08/2019 22:51

Oh dear. Credit is available when you buy these photos. Sorry OP.

Yesitsdyed · 13/08/2019 22:53

Don’t go if you don’t want to. It’s your DH’s gift (supposedly) to do with as he pleases. If he doesn’t want it, just don’t go.

LazyLizzy · 13/08/2019 23:01

Knew it. She's paid £45 for the 8x10 and photoshoot.

Then you get to stump up the £2k package.

Don't go!!

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