To think Sil's present makes her a cheeky f**cker!

[RandomeUsername]

Sil got DH a family photo package present for his birthday. Nice present because we have a young dc. But it's in the city thats near to her and mil and an hour and a half away from us. She also has said to arrange it with her when we go because she wants to be in the photos. AIBU to think that's quite cheeky of her?

Isn't it cheeky to dictate terms of a present?

Pretty much all gifts except cash are dictated by the giver though. We once got a voucher for a night in a particular hotel. We went to the hotel and enjoyed it but I suppose we could just as easily have been annoyed that someone else was dictating what town we had to visit and where we had to stay.

Is her keeping it and not giving the gift to dh a way to make sure she is in the photos?

I would check what is actually included in the package. It isn’t uncommon with some providers to find you only actually get say one small photo in the pre paid package and get the hard sell on buying more.

Can't get the photos done without her, she hasn't given it to dh. She's still holding onto it

And is he ok with that or has he asked her to give it to him?

So far this has been all about you and very little about the person whose gift it actually is.

Is it one of those family photo packages where everyone has to be in jeans and bare feet and it's shot against a white background? You could suggest she wears all white, and then her disembodied head will be easy for the photographer to photoshop out later...

This would annoy me. What an odd gift!

What are you going to do?

Well, if she has form for being cheeky then yeah, this is probably her being cheeky too. Context is everything I suppose!

Knowing her it will be a cut price photo shoot and then you’re expected to shell out for the overpriced print

Lovely gift idea but not when it's on her terms like this.
It doesn't seem thoughtful, she's taken the goodness out of the gesture by dictating the terms and then wanting to be in the actual photos (which is a bit cringe!)

And how does your husband feel about the gift?

I would think my sister had lost the plot if she did this. Am amazed at the posters who wouldn't find it bizarre.

Go on, tell us what else she has done (i’m meant to go to the gym...)

My husband is a people pleaser when it comes to his family. His sister has always expected special treatment from her brothers and dh used to always just give into her demands

Bloody weird that she wants to be in the photos, rubbish present, I bet its Groupon thing or similar too so she has to organise it or something.

Is MIL going to be in it too? It a 'family' photo of DH's family as opposed to your young family?

Getting small children dressed and neat for a photo is no small effort in itself. Let alone loading them into the car and driving for 90m, trying to keep them clean, tidy, in a decent mood the whole time.

Absolute PITA. I've had a family photographer come to our home and even then it's like herding cats trying to get multiple young children neat/clean/smiling/looking in one direction.

YANBU. I'd be making excuses until the voucher expires and then for her birthday book a photo shoot near you.

Oh yes! Tell us other stuff she does. If she's nutty enough to do this, then there must be a good back catalogue!

Controlling family members often have a way of dressing up another way to control people as a gift or something nice.
Yanbu op

Yes I expect mil will be invited by Sil to the photos

I think she probably won it in a raffle or something, as well. Mind you, given that you clearly dislike her, could it be a way of getting your H and DC to actually visit your SIL and MIL?

I suppose you could always just say: “Thanks, that’s lovely” and then never get round to going up there and doing the actual shoot?

Just the usual stuff demanding expensive gifts and getting us cheap tat in return. Loudly objecting if you didn't get the gift she wanted. Huffing if she doesn't get what she wants. Demanding we drop everything we are doing to do what she wants. She demands everyone gets up early and opens presents in their pyjamas infront of everyone. If you don't she will scream at your door until you emerge from the room. She is quite childish like that.

Dont these photo packages usually mean just one photo to be chosen out of a few they take, so her wanting to be in 'a' photo means it's a phot of her ...for you ?

She demands everyone gets up early and opens presents in their pyjamas infront of everyone. If you don't she will scream at your door until you emerge from the room. She is quite childish like that.

And you give in to that kind of shit ?

OP I think you're right - she will have paid a few quid for the shoot but once you are in there you'll be pressured by SIL and MIL as well as the photographer to spend a few hundred more on prints, otherwise "it won't be making the most of SIL's lovely thoughtful gift".

oh god just don't use it. Actually my worst nightmare