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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think Sil's present makes her a cheeky f**cker!

228 replies

RandomeUsername · 12/08/2019 12:56

Sil got DH a family photo package present for his birthday. Nice present because we have a young dc. But it's in the city thats near to her and mil and an hour and a half away from us. She also has said to arrange it with her when we go because she wants to be in the photos. AIBU to think that's quite cheeky of her?

OP posts:
Biggles398 · 12/08/2019 13:55

I reckon the fact your DH hasn't yet received the present is more likely that she's not actually bought it, but is going to!

stayathomer · 12/08/2019 13:55

DoD you say she's in her 20s? And doesn't have kids? Sounds like she just wants a family photo tbh and perhaps immature but she'll seem that way of you're older and at a different stage of life. Maybe try and see it as a gift and give her a bit of a break, it sounds like your dh might get stuck in a bit of a battle otherwise!!

Ponoka7 · 12/08/2019 14:00

@Vasya, it's you that's got it the wrong way round. A gift should be about the recipient not the giver.

flouncyfanny · 12/08/2019 14:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ponoka7 · 12/08/2019 14:02

OP your DH needs to check what she has booked. A photo package can be £hundreds.

She may have only paid for the complementary 6x9 print.

Bornfreebutinbiscuits · 12/08/2019 14:07

Ice, very true.

Controlling people dress up stuff as a gift or nice gesture when actually it's seeking to control.

Also pp said she will give a photo to Mil for Xmas, two birds with one stone Grin

Very odd.

Her0utdoors · 12/08/2019 14:07

If your dh can be arsed to organise his present--including sorting the dc, then I'd join in , but I certainly wouldn't lift a finger to facilitate it. In my house this would mean it wouldn't happen.

brassbrass · 12/08/2019 14:09

  1. check it's actually paid for so you're not hit with any unexpected costs on the day that she 'forgot' to mention

  2. can you say it's too far to travel and can you swap it for something nearer to you?

  3. find out exactly what she expects to get out of the day

You may turn up and find she's running the whole thing and you're just puppets there to do her bidding. Is this how your DH wants to celebrate his birthday?

CorBlimeyGovenor · 12/08/2019 14:10

Agree that it's cheeky! Imo gifts shouldn't come with provisos attached!

BarbaraofSeville · 12/08/2019 14:10

Would the people saying that the OP is being unreasonable really be happy to receive a gift that demands that they organise various family members and then spend the best part of a day travelling to another city, probably twice, and spend hundreds if not £1k+ on photos?

Really?

There's being politely grateful and there's being a mug.

PriestessModwena · 12/08/2019 14:11

I don't think it's cheeky, I think she thought a family portrait would be nice for DH, MIL & herself. It's quite sentimental.

newnamewhosthis · 12/08/2019 14:13

If the OP replaced SIL with MIL guaranteed this would be a complete different thread.

I don't think it's cheeky but it's strange

CorBlimeyGovenor · 12/08/2019 14:13

She also may have paid for a promotional sitting (that entitles you to a free 4 X 6 photo and then photos are sold to you at a fortune! Or perhaps she is paying more than she usually would pay as a present in order for her to also get some photos (i.e. going in halves of the cost of the present). That wouldn't be so bad imo.

BikeRunSki · 12/08/2019 14:13

Are there other locations to get the photo done nearer to you though? My nearest city is 45 mins away, it wouldn’t bother me to drive 1.5 hrs fir something specific.

justasking111 · 12/08/2019 14:13

There will be a ton of photos, you buy yours she buys hers.

separatebeds · 12/08/2019 14:15

We were given one of these. Had to travel 1.5 hours to the shop. Go back again to view the pictures and then pay for them. One small basic picture included that was not worth the journey. Ended up costing us an additional £40 by time we 'upgraded' the free photo to something we wanted.

Total waste of time as we would never have done this ourselves....

Wonkybanana · 12/08/2019 14:21

Given the SiL's habit of making everything all about her, I'm being a world class cynic about this! I'm seeing a situation where the OP and her family turn up for the photo shoot and discover that the OP's only there to keep the children in check - SiL doesn't plan on having her in any of the photos.

WorraLiberty · 12/08/2019 14:23

Would the people saying that the OP is being unreasonable really be happy to receive a gift that demands that they organise various family members and then spend the best part of a day travelling to another city, probably twice, and spend hundreds if not £1k+ on photos?

I personally wouldn't be too chuffed, no.

But the OP has said nothing about how the actual recipient feels.

It's all about her.

Tonnerre · 12/08/2019 14:24

She yells so loud she wakes you and just keeps bothering you until you get up. Dh and the whole family tolerate it. I just stopped going there for Christmas eve and Christmas

I hope this means your whole family stopped going? It's quite bizarre that anyone tolerates this from a grown woman.

Bluntness100 · 12/08/2019 14:27

Well clearly you can stand her.

If my sister in law got my husband that, I'd think fab, even though I hate those things, go and have some fun it, then go for dinner and a few drinks after, and stay at hers, make a weekend of it.

But I like my sister in law.

NoSauce · 12/08/2019 14:30

Why are you even getting involved with someone else's birthday present?

Exactly. Just let DH sort it out with her. Turn up if you want to be in or don’t if it’s not your thing.

Original poster
RandomeUsername · 12/08/2019 14:32

@WorraLiberty that's because dh puts up with her ridiculous behaviour

@Tonnerre me, dh and dc spend Christmas day at home now. DH's family still put up with it on Christmas morning. Which I can't understand why?

@Bluntness100 and if its just for the one free photo, and it costs us a fortune to not only pay for travel costs there and back a few times but for the actual photos? Knowing her that's what it will be

OP posts:
Dandelion1993 · 12/08/2019 14:35

Book it and don't tell her when. Get some photos of you DH and your children.

WorraLiberty · 12/08/2019 14:35

@WorraLiberty that's because dh puts up with her ridiculous behaviour

Finally got DH to say no to her demands. She can sulk all she likes

And yours too ^^ by the sound of it.

Ridiculous and interfering. Then again, you describe him as a people pleaser.

Sounds like it's not just his sister he has to please.

WorraLiberty · 12/08/2019 14:38

'Knowing her that's what it'll be'.

But you've got your DH to say no without him even checking to see what the actual deal is.

Neither of you actually know.

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