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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think Sil's present makes her a cheeky f**cker!

228 replies

RandomeUsername · 12/08/2019 12:56

Sil got DH a family photo package present for his birthday. Nice present because we have a young dc. But it's in the city thats near to her and mil and an hour and a half away from us. She also has said to arrange it with her when we go because she wants to be in the photos. AIBU to think that's quite cheeky of her?

OP posts:

Pinkout · 12/08/2019 13:28

Really weird that she wants to be in them...

BarbaraofSeville · 12/08/2019 13:30

Knowing her it will be a cut price photo shoot and then you’re expected to shell out for the overpriced print

It's not Venture is it?

Worst case scenario is that she 'won' the photo shoot and free print, which is tiny, and gifted it to your family.

But you have to go to her city for the photo shoot and then go back there again to sit through a high pressure sales session where they will try and persuade you to part with £££s for a load more photos.

Or might it at least be an actual thing that she paid for with an independent photographer with some decent prints included?

Original poster

RandomeUsername · 12/08/2019 13:31

@Oldraver
She yells so loud she wakes you and just keeps bothering you until you get up. Dh and the whole family tolerate it.
I just stopped going there for Christmas eve and Christmas

OP posts:

BarbaraofSeville · 12/08/2019 13:31

Just the usual stuff demanding expensive gifts and getting us cheap tat in return. Loudly objecting if you didn't get the gift she wanted. Huffing if she doesn't get what she wants. Demanding we drop everything we are doing to do what she wants. She demands everyone gets up early and opens presents in their pyjamas infront of everyone. If you don't she will scream at your door until you emerge from the room. She is quite childish like that

Is she 6?

Why on earth do you go along with it? (Special needs excepted of course) but wouldn't most people have told her where to get off after maybe the second time she behaved like this.

crosstalk · 12/08/2019 13:32

Agree it's "free photo session" with hugely expensive prints.

If you do go don't overdress you or the kids. The nicest photos I've seen from these deals are relaxed, ordinary shots.
But then those are the ones you can take yourselves .....

Original poster

RandomeUsername · 12/08/2019 13:33

@BarbaraofSeville
She hasn't told dh any information other than photo shoot for family.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 12/08/2019 13:34

My husband is a people pleaser when it comes to his family. His sister has always expected special treatment from her brothers and dh used to always just give into her demands

Yes, but how does he feel about the gift?

mummmy2017 · 12/08/2019 13:35

I think by family , the meaning is all of you on DH side...
So his bit is half the cost of gift.

cheesydoesit · 12/08/2019 13:35

YANBU.

Vasya · 12/08/2019 13:35

Isn't it cheeky to dictate terms of a present?

Quite the opposite - it's cheeky for a recipient to dictate the terms of a present, not the giver.

Is this really such an inconvenience? Presumably you do sometimes visit your MIL so can you just book this in for one of those times?

I expect she picked someone local to her because she could get recommendations or was familiar with their work.

Aprillygirl · 12/08/2019 13:36

Sounds to me like the present's more for her than you. Join in with the the cheekyfuckery by regifting it to her for Christmas.

Original poster

RandomeUsername · 12/08/2019 13:36

@BarbaraofSeville she is in her 20s, no special needs and her family just tolerate her behaviour. No idea why. Finally got DH to say no to her demands. She can sulk all she likes

OP posts:

WishingILivedOnAnIsland · 12/08/2019 13:38

I'm guessing she'll give MiL a print from this session for Christmas- two gifts in one!

HeadintheiClouds · 12/08/2019 13:38

It’s not a gift I’d want, personally, but making her a cheeky fucker?
I take it you haven’t met many cheeky fuckers?

RavenLG · 12/08/2019 13:39

Has she booked it in or is it a voucher? If it's just the voucher I'd just forget to book it and if she question you just say you keep forgetting because you don't have the voucher to remind you and do that awful tinkly laugh after. Also make a point of saying it'll take you a while to get around to booking it since you'll need to plan a weekend around it due to distance. If you do manage to book it (if she already hasn't) say it's an hour long, and you book it at 1pm, tell her it's booked at 1.45pm so she only has 15mins to be in a couple of photos lol.

burnoutbabe · 12/08/2019 13:40

I'd definitely be asking how many pictures are included, as they are often not included and it will cost you tons.

ysmaem · 12/08/2019 13:43

If the gift was for you then yes I would say YANBU but its not. It's for your DH and she and your MIL is his immediate family. Yes, I agree having to travel is a a bit of a pain but I think it's a lovely gift for your DH. YAB very U for branding her a cheeky fucker.

Butterymuffin · 12/08/2019 13:45

Just don't get round to going. It'll be the cut price thing and it'll cost you a lot more to get a proper set of photos.

LillithsFamiliar · 12/08/2019 13:48

I think your history with her is clouding this tbh. It's a bit odd she wants to be in the pics but it doesn't make her a cf. Imo it's not that strange that she opted for a studio near her. As a PP said presumably you visit DMIL sometimes and DSIL probably has more of an idea of which studios are best near her than near you.
She's your DSIL and is presumably going to be in your life for a long time. I think you'd be happier if you let certain 'issues/non-issues' go rather than looking for cf-ery in everything she does.

gamerchick · 12/08/2019 13:51

It's no big deal, put it off and let it expire. With her history it'll be one of those rip off photo sessions to make you part with hundreds. The sort of thing you win in a raffle somewhere.

KUGA · 12/08/2019 13:52

Weird gift if they want to be in the photos too.
As you say,it`s an hour and half round trip.
That's 3 hrs,and they get you to go back for a viewing and to see which ones you want,another 3hr round trip.
Then you go back to pick them up,another 3hr round trip.
I would be inclined to put it on e-bay or something of that nature.

adreamofspring · 12/08/2019 13:52

Ugh. My worst nightmare. I’ve been forced into 2 venture family photo shoots with the ILS. It’s cringe and expensive. There’s not a chance your Sil has paid for any of the prints so it’s not actually a gift. It’s a way to drag your DH to his hometown and to get him to shell out for some pics to go in his mum’s house. YANBU

WorraLiberty · 12/08/2019 13:53

Finally got DH to say no to her demands. She can sulk all she likes

Why are you even getting involved with someone else's birthday present?

Are you always this controlling?

Just leave it up to your husband and his sister.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 12/08/2019 13:54

I think its a cheeky gift because its not actually a gift for you DH. Its a gift for her, your MIL and your DH as they are all experiencing the exact same photoshoot. If it was truly a gift for your DH she would have handed over the voucher allowed him to choose who attended and when you went.

TwentyEight12 · 12/08/2019 13:54

Perhaps when she thought about purchasing this family photo package, she was thinking of ALL of you being photographed, including hers and your partner’s parents.

Perhaps upon receiving this family photo package as a gift from her, you were thinking of just you, your partner and your children being included.

Different expectations.

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