Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to call this out?

440 replies

harriethoyle · 12/08/2019 07:39

On a disgustingly early train to a work thing. Suited and booted as is everyone in my compartment. Everyone in my vicinity is a man.

The chap on the trolley called me love the first time he served me and darling the second time. He has called all of the men around me Sir, both times.

So, the second time, I said "are you aware that you have called me love and darling on the two occasions we've spoken but you are calling all of the men Sir?" At which point he stuttered a bit and apologised.

WIBU in calling out what I felt was total sexism - he didn't call any of the men love! Or am I just a grumpy moo because I've been up for hours and have a long and difficult day ahead and the poor man was just trying to be friendly?!

OP posts:
Bertieandernie · 12/08/2019 17:12

@M3lon I didn’t mean it as an insult towards you, I do apologise just different opinions I suppose x

Coffeeandcherrypie · 12/08/2019 17:12

@Bertieandernie

Bertieandernie

I can imagine it’s an easy mistake to mistake and mean no offence to you. At high school it is always drummed into students (even in sixth form) to call Male teachers sir, but female teachers miss

Nice try petal, but @M3lon says they call the men ‘Prof’ or ‘Dr’ so your explanation about ‘sir’ is irrelevant. Prof and Dr are also unisex terms so even easier to remember.

BarrenFieldofFucks · 12/08/2019 17:12

Argh! It doesn't matter that we call each other it! It is the disparity that is the point.

zeezee3 · 12/08/2019 17:13

@harriethoyle

Oh dear ..... Wink

What a daft thing to get upset about. I am actually embarrassed for you.

Get a grip! God HELP you when you have to deal with a real problem!

Same goes for @InTheHeatofLisbon Your posts make me cringe. Blush

I am praying that a man doesn't open a door for you both anytime soon, (and anyone agreeing with you,) or offer his seat to you on a train. OH THE HORROR! Horrible, sexist pigs - ALL men GRRRRR!!!!! Those bastards, being nice and friendly.

Cunts.

M3lon · 12/08/2019 17:13

bert well perhaps they should?

100 years ago nobody batted an eyelid when men beat their wives. Doesn't mean it was okay does it?

Coffeeandcherrypie · 12/08/2019 17:13

@zeezee there there, petal, calm down

Bertieandernie · 12/08/2019 17:15

@Coffeeandcherrypie so Miss is degrading but Petal isn’t... okay love

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 12/08/2019 17:15

Get a grip! God HELP you when you have to deal with a real problem!

Another one who will feel very at home with the Fallacy of Relative Privation.

"Cunts"
Calm down dear, there's a good girl.

M3lon · 12/08/2019 17:15

zeezee people hold doors open for other people...its fine. People offer seats to other people who they think might need them more...also fine.

People who refuse to hold open doors for people with a penis and people who refuse to give up a seat for someone who needs it and has a penis are indeed as you so eloquently put it, cunts.

M3lon · 12/08/2019 17:16

bert welcome to the concept of irony. Sometimes people do the thing they are complaining about to emphasize the point they are making that it isn't really okay.

HTH

zeezee3 · 12/08/2019 17:16

@Aprillygirl

Yep because someone who, as long as they are being spoken politely to, doesn't give two fucks about whether they are referred to as love, mate, darling, madam, miss or fucking ducky must be a subservient little wifey mustn't they? Hmm

Exactly LOL! Some people do think if a woman actually DOESN'T MIND being called 'love' or 'sweetie' and actually DOESN'T MIND having doors opened for her, and seats offered to her, that she is a subservient little slave to her husband!

Some people are so daft and ignorant that it defies belief.

Also a little bitter and jealous of women who attract men.

You can tell those posters on here LOL! Grin

Original poster
harriethoyle · 12/08/2019 17:17

@zeezee3 isn't that WEIRD, because I'm embarrassed for you that you don't understand that the issue is the disparity, not the sobriquet!

Thank God we've both got each other to take the burden of our embarrassment from us.

Wink
OP posts:
Bertieandernie · 12/08/2019 17:17

@M3lon calling someone love, darling or miss is not quite the same as beating your wife

Wtfdoipick · 12/08/2019 17:18

If they are only being friendly why not call the men mate but no men are shown respect.

Shock horror but I hold doors open for both men and women, I believe it's polite. It stops being polite when you only do it to one sex, you are being sexist if you believe men and women should be treated differently without good cause

zeezee3 · 12/08/2019 17:19

@M3lon

People who refuse to hold open doors for people with a penis and people who refuse to give up a seat for someone who needs it and has a penis are indeed as you so eloquently put it, cunts.

Except that's not how it is, even though you WANT it to be.

Most men who offer to open doors for women, will also do it for men too.

Smile

There are some very bitter and angry ladies on here .. tut tut. Grin

Why so angry? Would you like a sit down? Here have a seat. Grin

Aprillygirl · 12/08/2019 17:19

I don't see any classism. Just the point that bar their sex, they were all the same.

Yes they were all the same class. Everyone apart from the poor plebchap serving them of course.

M3lon · 12/08/2019 17:20

buzz I don't know that its really about that fallacy...although it is a good one!

I think that everyday sexism actually is a massive massive problem. It arrives in small doses to a given individual on each occurrence but it adds up to rape culture, and the gender pay gap, and a lack of research in pregnancy related illness, and well all sorts of fucked up stuff.

It is also the case that most 'real problems' can't actually be influenced in a day to day way by individuals. But everyday sexism (and racism) actually can. And it starts with people like the OP speaking up politely.

Bertieandernie · 12/08/2019 17:20

I’m also surprised he called the men “sir” in the first place, where I live men call each other ridiculous stuff like “boss man” “boss” “bro” “my G”

M3lon · 12/08/2019 17:20

zeezee why on earth would I want the world to be MORE sexist than it already is?

Are you on glue?

zeezee3 · 12/08/2019 17:21

@Bertieandernie

Exactly. I am cringing real hard at some posters on here.

Good to see that almost half of nearly 100 voters think the OP is as much of an pillock as I do. Grin

zeezee3 · 12/08/2019 17:21

I mean 1000 voters!!!

M3lon · 12/08/2019 17:23

bert oh well that's much better. So where you are men are 'boss' (you know the word for the person in charge) and women are 'pet' (you know the word for an animal you feed and keep in your house).

If that doesn't show you how wrong this shit is then I don't know what would.

Maybe if we went to men referred to as 'Lord and master' and women called 'shit that I found on my shoe'? Would that do it for you bert would you be able to see the inherent sexism then?

probably not....

zeezee3 · 12/08/2019 17:23

@M3lon

zeezee3 Are you on glue?

OMG did you seriously just say that???? 😂

WOW, M3lon - just when I thought your posts couldn't get more cringeworthy, you come out with THAT?!

OMG how embarrassing. 😂😂😂

M3lon · 12/08/2019 17:25

zee good to see your maths is almost as bad as your awareness of sexism...

The referendum result was 'a clear and decisive message from the British people' but 14% gap is totally ignorable...

M3lon · 12/08/2019 17:26

OMG have you swallowed your smart phone and started typing with your intestines OMG OMGOMGOMGOMG