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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want oh to wear suit he got married in?

248 replies

Maybe2020 · 11/08/2019 17:13

My partner and I have a cousins wedding to go to in September. He wants to wear the suit he got married in!!
I think it’s weird and told him to get a new one, he says in being stupid and it’s just clothes, doesn’t mean anything.
Aibu?

OP posts:
AnotherCrappyDay · 11/08/2019 23:39

Have you made him get rid of all the clothes he wore while with his ex? He's with you, not her. It's a suit not his wedding ring, get over it

PurpleDaisies · 11/08/2019 23:42

Yab totally u.

SudowoodoVoodoo · 11/08/2019 23:46

If he got married to the ex 40+ years ago and it's brown with flared trousers, YANBU

If he got married to the ex 25+ years ago and it's double breasted and makes him look like Jacob Rees Mogg, YANBU

If it's a fairly straight cut suit from the last 15 years, YABU. The point of a men's suit is how slowly the fashions change and the long term use for them. The bog standard lounge suit is there to serve most significant occasions of life and death and everything in between. Your own wedding, you might have a point, but not for any other wedding.

SavingSpaces2019 · 11/08/2019 23:47

Just because it's in common parlance doesn't make it less grim
What - like swapping spit and exchanging bodily fluids?
Not to mention any particular kink they may enjoy?
Grin

SavingSpaces2019 · 11/08/2019 23:48

......maybe if we saw a photo of the suit we might change our opinions?.........

SallyLovesCheese · 11/08/2019 23:53

DH wore a suit he already owned when we got married. I don't know if he ever wore it when with his previous girlfriend, I didn't think to ask.

Wouldn't it be nice to have the suit associated with new memories?

ParkheadParadise · 12/08/2019 00:00

JUST BUY A NEW SUIT

I'm frightened to ask! What's he wearing to your mum's wedding.

Oscarsdaddy · 12/08/2019 17:58

I wish I could still fit in my wedding suit

Giraffey1 · 12/08/2019 18:05

If it was the suit he wore to marry his ex I’d be even less fussed about it. It’s just a suit. What’s the point of having it hanging the wardrobe and not wearing it? So wasteful ....

perfectstorm · 12/08/2019 18:14

Well, looked at from another perspective... I'd be more worried if he had sentimental value attached to it, frankly. The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference, as the saying goes. If it was precious to him because of the memories, and he wouldn't wear it but kept it encased in a special bag in the wardrobe, I'd be rather more perturbed than his cheerfully putting it on for suitable formal occasions.

Having said that, my (really lovely!) FIL married his second wife (also really lovely) using the wedding ring he had from his first marriage (to MIL, who is sadly far from lovely, and who left him for another man and to whom he still seems devoted). I do think that's a bit weird, honestly, but it doesn't bother them so it's none of my business.

The suit, and I would assume it's just a very expensive suit, and probably the nicest he owns, and he doesn't want to spend hundreds on a new one, especially if this was tailored to fit.

angelfacecuti75 · 12/08/2019 18:15

My dad is a carpenter and only has about 2 suits (he's been married since 1981) and one if them is the one he got married in ! This is what he wears to special occasions . Lolol . Suits cost a lot of money so it makes sense really.

CilantroChili · 12/08/2019 18:16

Buy him a new shirt & tie in complimentary colours that you like & go and enjoy yourself

Cheeseandwin5 · 12/08/2019 18:22

I totally agree with the OP. By wearing this suit her DH will go back in time and suddenly be married to his exW. The poster will be there at the wedding in turmoil.
Or maybe, just maybe it is just a suit, and by trying to control what he is wearing you will start future problems in your relationship.

ToftyAC · 12/08/2019 18:24

Oh my god it’s just a suit. My DP has been married, been to Court and been to many funerals in his. He’ll prob where it to our wedding. No prob with it as it was incredibly expensive. Just get him a new shirt and tie.

Troels · 12/08/2019 18:25

Normal suit, YABU
Flared velour, with a ruffle shirt and dickie bow YANBU thinking of now deceaed step FIL and my wedding to Dh

highheelsandbobblehats · 12/08/2019 18:28

**plunkplunkfizz

I hate to tell you, but he probably used his willy around the time of the wedding too and he can’t get a new one of those off the peg.**

Thread winner!

purplewhitegreen · 12/08/2019 18:29

I'm with you OP. I wouldn't feel comfortable with it.

I think most posters go with the flock, agreeing with the other posts and if you'd put it in the OP that It's the suit he married his ex in you may have got a different response.

If It's just a suit to him then he won't mind not wearing something else will he?!

LazyLemur · 12/08/2019 18:29

Presumably he's not married to her any more is he? So I doubt there is any special significance left to it.

Just bloody convenient to have a nice suit in the wardrobe. Wish there was an event where big white dresses were expected attire. I'd love to wear my wedding dress to it. Not because it's my wedding dress - because it's fucking fabulous.

ahmadsmom2015 · 12/08/2019 18:32

If it bothers you that much, why does he even have it? Buy him a new suit if it upsets you that much but it really shouldn’t. What if he takes you to a restaurant he took his ex? Would it bother you? He’s married to you now.

Dyrne · 12/08/2019 18:35

If It's just a suit to him then he won't mind not wearing something else will he?!

And what if it’s his only suit? He should fork out £300+ on a new suit just because OP is insecure?

OP - if you have such a problem with it, you need to buy him a new suit. A decent one, not an ill fitting one from the high street.

Agree that it would be weirder if he’d kept it and refused to wear it.

Celestine70 · 12/08/2019 18:37

Why shouldn't be wear it? Think of the environment. Everything we buy and consume has an environmental cost. Reuse, repurpose, recycle.

hughwhatascorcher · 12/08/2019 18:37

So, what occasions would it be OK to wear the suit?

I suspect none.

Therefore it is a waste of wardrobe space and you should make him get rid of it. Obviously donating it to charity is the sensible answer, but we don't seem to be doing sensible here so maybe have a ceremonial burning of the suit in the garden.

Good grief.

BikeRunSki · 12/08/2019 18:40

No one looks at the groom. No one knows it’s the suit he wore when he married his ex, except you and him.

Jeepy · 12/08/2019 18:45

It might be trickier if he wants to wear that to YOUR wedding!

shoesarefab · 12/08/2019 18:53

@Maybe2020 until recently I was sleeping on the same mattress that my husband had with his ex. And he split up with her at the end of 2005. We still use the bedstead 🤷‍♀️