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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want oh to wear suit he got married in?

248 replies

Maybe2020 · 11/08/2019 17:13

My partner and I have a cousins wedding to go to in September. He wants to wear the suit he got married in!!
I think it’s weird and told him to get a new one, he says in being stupid and it’s just clothes, doesn’t mean anything.
Aibu?

OP posts:
MoreFrog · 11/08/2019 19:11

YABU. You can't just chuck away a perfectly good suit on somebody else's whim. It's a suit. Just a suit. You can insist he has it cleaned though. That wouldn't be too weird.

FabledBunny · 11/08/2019 19:12

I don’t think you’re being un-reasonable OP, i wouldn’t like my partner to wear the suit he got married in to his ex wife either. X

SavingSpaces2019 · 11/08/2019 19:12

It was the suit he wore when he married his ex. That’s why I have the problem
So the fact that he dipped his wick in his ex doesn't affect you - but wearing items of clothing is? Hmm
So when is he allowed to wear a suit that he spent a lot of money on?
Just because a woman can't wear her wedding dress again to someone else's wedding doesn't mean a man can't recycle his suit.

You don't sound mature enough for a relationship.

MoreFrog · 11/08/2019 19:15

OP, i wouldn’t like my partner to wear the suit he got married in to his ex wife either

I was invited to my ex husband's wedding. How's that? I didn't check the suit out though. I must go look at the photies.

FineWordsForAPorcupine · 11/08/2019 19:18

@SavingSpaces2019

So the fact that he dipped his wick in his ex doesn't affect you

Wow. Could you maybe find a more dehumanising way to describe two people having sex?

wildcherries · 11/08/2019 19:20

I'd already guessed it was wedding suit with the ex before the dripfeed. You're being ridiculous. It's not a wedding dress. Different tie - done.

HattieHu · 11/08/2019 19:28

YABU. And sad.

SavingSpaces2019 · 11/08/2019 19:31

dehumanising? Hardly!
That is so OTT.

It's a colloquial term.

MaryShelley1818 · 11/08/2019 19:32

You’re being ridiculous! It’s just clothes.
I used my wedding ring from my first marriage for my current marriage (it was a replacement ring and practically brand new!) And my ex-h came to our wedding.

FineWordsForAPorcupine · 11/08/2019 19:34

It's a colloquial term

Yeah, a colloquial term which reduces the female party to an object - an open pot to be dipped into. Just because it's in common parlance doesn't make it less grim.

KittiKat · 11/08/2019 19:35

No one remembers what the Groom wore at a wedding! They only sort of remember what the bride wore.

FuzzyDiamond · 11/08/2019 19:35

I would feel the same way as you do YANBU. If it’s “just a suit” then he’ll have no issue wearing a different one.

TeeniefaeTroon · 11/08/2019 19:37

Who cares? I married my husband and he wore the same kilt he married his ex-wife in 😂

Gruntvsgunt · 11/08/2019 19:38

@SavingSpaces2019

So the fact that he dipped his wick in his ex doesn't affect you!

This was my first thought too.

usernamewastaken · 11/08/2019 19:41

@Maybe2020 I understand and don't think you're being unreasonable, and you're entitled to feel your feelings. Me and my partner went to a fancy theatre thing and the only suit he had was his ex-wedding suit, Which was at his friend's place (from years ago, it just happened to still be there). He insisted on buying a new one, he said he felt weird wearing something that belonged to that day, when he was now so far from that day. It's perfectly reasonable to get a new suit, I get it.

TellItLikeItReallyIs · 11/08/2019 19:42

So the fact that he dipped his wick in his ex doesn't affect you

Wow. Could you maybe find a more dehumanising way to describe two people having sex?

Well that's quite a turn of phrase but makes a fair point albeit in fairly unpleasant language!

Happy to give him a blow job but not to be in the presence of a suit!

TheJellyBabyMadeMeDoIt · 11/08/2019 19:47

YANBU.

My partners ex died not long after they divorced, so no chance of them getting back together, and yet I can't bear the thought of him being with her.

It's ridiculous but it's a feeling and I can pretend it isn't there or admit it to myself and deal with it.

I talk to his children about her happily, I am on really good terms with her mum.... The jealous streak is associated with him only. I realise I'm ridiculous, but it won't go away.

I'd have a fit if he chose to wear his wedding suit out (would also be impressed as it's 17 years and he's about a stone heavier!)

Logic and reason - it's just an item of clothing.

BeanBag7 · 11/08/2019 19:47

My husband has worn his wedding suit to every wedding and formal event since. Obviously not with a bottonhole and white shirt, but with a coloured shirt and tie it is just like any other suit.

Vasya · 11/08/2019 19:48

Totally daft to buy a new suit if he has one already!

PositiveVibez · 11/08/2019 19:49

It's not a suit that doubles as a time machine is it?

Do you think he'll put it on and think he is still married to his ex?

pooopypants · 11/08/2019 20:01

You're being odd OP

And unreasonable

Its just a pissing suit!

SandraOhshair · 11/08/2019 20:06

As long as the wedding wasnt in the 80s and is very dated, then you are being odd about it. Have you made him burn every other item he left the marriage with?

tararabumdeay · 11/08/2019 20:31

I should like to suggest that you sell the suit to a youngster who has an important interview or family wedding to go to. My DS 25 loves a posh suit but dreams of a proper one rather than high street.

Then, of course, use the money towards another one. That way helping someone, getting a new one for DP and any problem with exs sorted.

I once saw a young man at a Manchester station. He looked awkward but very dapper. I told him I liked his suit (old enough to be his gran) and that he looked dapper. He told me he was going to an important interview. His awkwardness fell away somewhat. I hope he got the job.

Having a decent suit is important to a young man. Sell it!

I've got my Mother's second wedding dress here. It cost a fortune. She married a man who took all our inheritance and gave it to his own kids. One day I'll burn it on his grave.

So sell the suit; get a new one; put the past behind you.

MoreFrog · 11/08/2019 21:01

If it’s “just a suit” then he’ll have no issue wearing a different one

I don't expect he would. The issue is forking out money for a suit when you've already got a perfectly decent one. Wasteful.

thecatinthetwat · 11/08/2019 21:06

Wow, I’m shocked no one is with you on this op.

I completely see where you’re coming from. Jeez, how stingy is he?

Tell him it makes you really uncomfortable and hope he will take your feelings into account.

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