To think I should get all of husband's death in service benefit?

[ILoveSleep123]

NC in case of outing

DH received some pension info through the post today, and it said he needs to nominate someone or several people to receive a 'death in service' benefit if he should die (around £80k)

Hopefully he won't any time soon but obviously you need to think about these things. But I'm shocked to hear him say he's considering adding his brother as a beneficiary for 50%. BIL is in his 20s, spends money like water, no sense of responsibility, and is set to inherit a decent sum from his parents anyway.

Me and DH have a mortgage together, No children yet, but AIBU to think I should inherit everything from my husband should something happen to him? We've been together almost a decade if that means anything.

You are not unreasonable. Your husband is supposed to be your partner. He is acting like a child.

@BogglesGoggles why? Why do only dependents matter? In a partnership each person is dependent on the other’s salary and pulling his or weight in some way. This applies even for very well off people. Why in some minds does a partner or spouse get tossed aside just because there are no children? That’s madness.

@jingmahbucket because all able bodied adults free of caring responsibilities have an obligation to care for themselves. That is the absolute minimum of what a good person must achieve in their life. Obviously many people in the OP’s DH position would want to make life easier for the ones they love (as he would do both for her and his brother by nominating them as beneficiaries) but no one has the obligation to provide for OP except OP.

Why should his death mean she should be mortgage free

What a stupid comment. Are people incapable of thinking? If he wasn’t to die then op wouldn’t be paying for the mortgage they have on her own, so why should she pay it alone if he were to die?

@BogglesGoggles so are you applying those same rules for OP’s BIL who runs through money and will likely inherit anyway?

@JingsMahBucket yes-isn’t that obvious? Where have I said he has a duty to provide for his brother?

but no one has the obligation to provide for OP except OP.
Actually my husband does. As do I for him. That’s marriage - in sickness and in health we provide for each other. No idea what you think it is

I think your DH is BU op. Why would he want to provide for his brother and leave you with a mortgage you can't pay?

On the life assurance side though he should look at specialist providers. No mainstream insurer will touch DH but we have life assurance from an impaired life specialist.

And people wonder why child free people get pissed off.

He is being unreasonable. Money makes people do strange things.
My Dsis and her DH have lots of investments, big insurance policies, plus a big mortgage that would clear if one died. Her DH had a bad fall, he admitted after the accident his thoughts while falling were fuck sake she's going to be left well off to retire on.
I'd rather be poor, if money was my first concern for my family when you believe your facing death.

YANBU

In a commited relationship where you are co-dependent and building a life together (which being married implies), of course any life insurance type benefit should be for your partner.

It would be bonus money to the brother. How ridiculous.

Mine and DH's death in service benefits are both 100% to each other and we'd never consider doing otherwise.

Strange attitude from a spouse. My husband has left everything to me in his will.

Her DH had a bad fall, he admitted after the accident his thoughts while falling were fuck sake she's going to be left well off to retire on. I'd rather be poor, if money was my first concern for my family when you believe your facing death

I think that’s a really silly comment.

Who on earth knows what random last minute thoughts a panicked brain throws out when you genuinely think you’re about to die?

You sound completely superior and condescending which is ridiculous...for all you know you’d have the same thoughts.

You sound completely superior and condescending which is ridiculous...for all you know you’d have the same thoughts
I definitely could not have the same thoughts, I would need to have money to leave to have those thoughts.

No once else's opinion matters legally. It's a person's right to choose.