don't know what I've done wrong. Help me see the error of my ways...

[NannaNoodleman]

Family visiting from abroad, staying in our house, they're very welcome.

They wanted to go out to a certain place this afternoon but I was cooking dinner for everyone and clearing up lunch pots. So they went out and I stayed home.

Two cars: 4 adults and 4 children.

I called at 5pm and asked what time they'd be home and was told they wouldn't be setting off for another hour.

I asked my parents to bring my kids home sooner as they're tired and I wanted them to be in bed at a reasonable time tonight.

Well... it's caused a massive hoohah!!!

I've been told that they're on holiday and don't want to be summoned back for dinner at a certain time. There's been an argument and I'm being ignored!

• this is also my holiday (we stay in England for the summer so we can see them when they visit).
• they could've told me they didn't want dinner when I stayed home to cook it.
• I wasn't asking them to come back.
• I thought they were here to see us.
• my house is not a b&b.
• my children are so tired from many late nights that they've been crying at everything today.

So, why am I the villain?

Your Dad left you a bottle and told you he had.
He loves you, don't worry when they get home they will see you for the person you are, kind and caring.

Isn't it rich that they bleat on about their poor unfortunate childhood and how terrible your parents were, whilst demanding free childcare off the same two people!

Exactly!! The irony has not been lost on me over the years.

Sibling constantly criticises the food they cook for their children and if they use any sort of bubble bath etc but they don't offer alternatives or suggestions... just criticism.

They want the children eating lentils instead of meat (not a vegetarian diet, just less meat) but my parents aren't really used to cooking with lentils so they buy quorn and then get criticised because it's processed or whatever!! It's ridiculous!!

I think my dad would like to talk about it but we won't have the opportunity until mid September.

I guess they might be able to call while sibling is at work but they'll have the children... and it's different over the phone.

Nanna just send parents a photo of you with bottle and glass.
Add love you... As message
They will be fine

Yes it was missed at her baby checks, not surprising as the gp had already ticked that her testicles we ok! Got a shock when he opened her nappy and then corrected the book. Shouldn’t be missed as you can actually feel the murmur with your hand. So at 3 She was poorly with a cold and took her to out of hours GP who listened to her chest and awkwardly asked if we were aware of her heart murmur, sent straight to hospital. So it’s a small VSD, she is now at uni and doing well. At 11 Her cardiologist wanted to close the hole and she was booked in to GOSH, we went up there but another cardiologist disagreed and felt it was showing signs of closing and wanted to wait. Obviously open heart surgery is a huge operation so I get the resistance. It hasn’t closed it just grew a wall down the centre so she now as two small holes, doesn’t cause a problem Day to day but she has to consider it ie, piercings, tattoos and future pregnancies need to be planned and monitored. As an adult now she will continue to be monitored at St Barts.

It’s hard sometimes as I do worry but when we go to appointments I’m always grateful that if she has to have something wrong with her heart that it’s relatively minor compared to others we see.

Try and stay calm until you have all the facts, I don’t know that much on PDA but perhaps your daughters was less obvious and was missed (although really they should check as your son had it) and it maybe simple to resolve. What tests have they already done?

She had a chest x-ray at 1 year which showed an enlarged heart - this was put down to her having a viral infection and wasn't followed up.

Her heart murmur has been detected on multiple occasions and they've always said heart murmurs are very common in children.

She always has a fast resting heart rate but no one seemed concerned.

She has a high systolic blood pressure.

She's been in hospital 3 times with pneumonia.

She has a persistent cough.

She is a very tired child - we've always joked about how much she sleeps 

I feel let down my the system and all the GPs who haven't taken my concerns seriously.

I'm so pleased your daughter is doing well @Iamdobby63 Thanks for sharing her story. It's reassuring to read.

So far she's had standard clinical tests and blood tests, and elecrocardiogram and echocardiagram.

We need to wait to see the specialist from the other hospital now.

Don't people who belittle others usually do it to feel better about themselves?

But tbh your parents tolerate, maybe enable your sibling's behaviour & that's entirely on them.

That’s shocking Nanna, especially considering your son had it. Hope everything comes through quickly and it’s relatively easy to repair x

Good luck with DC💐🍷

@Iamdobby63 sorry, just a random thought... how was your DD with sports etc growing up? Is she able to participate ok?

I don't want to minimise what you've been through in anyway.. but looking at the updates today it did make me smile that they've made such a huge complaint about having to wear shellsuits.

it's good to see the humour in it!

My dad was raised by dirt poor immigrants in an overcrowded back to back 2 bedroom terrace ... imagine the absolute bewilderment he feels when sibling criticises the convenience food and shit 80s fashion!

Whenever my dad gets a fancy coffee from a cafe he laughs at himself and says "imagine what my parents would say"! They'd strain a teabag through about 15 cups and think themselves lucky

Awww bless your dad!

I haven’t RTWT but there is no way in hell I would be as accommodating as you have been. They are totally taking advantage and being beyond rude and ungrateful. I would personally take the kids (or not) and check into a hotel until they have gone and wouldn’t entertain the idea of any future visits from either set of “guests”.

Now I have seen the updates so perhaps would go a bit easier on the parents. The above still stands for the siblings though!

I can't work out whether sibling is miserable or just feels far superior

It's called pole up the ass-itis.

Hi OP, having read all the updates I don’t understand why your parents provide childcare for your sibling at all?? Seems crazy! If they spoke to me like that I’d tell em where to shove it!
If sibling is so superior then he can find his own childcare #twat

P.S. It really melted my heart when your Dad apologised. Your parents really do care.

Hi NannaNoodleman Sports were ok although she has asthma, coped better when that was managed. Thankfully her heart condition has had fairly little effect on day to day living.

Seemed appropriate...