To have a FWB when pregnant?

[GirlOnIt]

More would I be than am I, because I’ve not done anything yet.
I’m obviously single, split with baby’s dad and have been chatting with a FWB, but just as friends. Last night he got a bit flirty in his chat and suggested he’d be open to us resuming the benefits part of our friendship. I’m tempted because I do really miss sex, but feel it’s a bit off to sleep with someone who’s not my baby’s father while I’m pregnant.

I don’t know if to just give it a go and if it feels weird then say, nope I’ve changed my mind. I know him well enough to know that wouldn’t be a problem at all.

And he’s definitely single and we’d obviously use condoms.

My god, some of these comments!

If he's your friend and you trust him, I don't see a problem in being FWB. That said, especially being pregnant, I would 100% want to see a clean bill of sexual health first. Protecting baby would always be my first thought!

Interesting that people think your friend is weird, only wants to sleep with you because he has a fetish, and will call you names behind your back, as well as giving you STIs as he cant possibly be trusted not to sleep with other people. From what you've said about him, none of the above sound true and you know him better than anyone else on here

Go for it! You deserve to feel sexy and god knows if you can get, grab it! guy sounds chill and... to the prudes: it's sex! Take away the pregnancy and the OP would not have started a thread in the first place. You are a woman, get laid if you want!

@blubbabubba I damn glad I don't mix with the misogynistic lowlifes you do! Honestly, get new friends if yours talk about women like that.

I met my current partner whilst pregnant with my second child. It didn’t feel icky or wrong. I’ve gone down the relationship route though, rather than FWB but I think either are fine

@GirlOnIt

Yes. My old brain kinda thought that might be it. I wondered if he didnt want to be more?

I have not known many successful FWBs.

AND, sometimes people fib. They say FWB bc that's all they can get from the other person. He might want to care for you and baby too.

Be cautious for everyone's sake.

I don't think that this issue is just about having sex in pregnancy. I think that the issues really being debated here are about wider morality: my guess is that most would consider continuing to have sex with their husband or partner to be fine. I think that the issues are to do with relationships with more than one man in fairly short proximity, whilst being a mother and or a potential mother. I think that it's also a bit about taking care of a baby health wise (minimising any risk) and providing a child with stability/certainly (i.e. being careful about managing relationships and also minimising the risk of harm caused by jealousy/arguments of the biological father or potential new partners etc. I think that there are so many issues at play here on this thread. And clearly much difference of opinion.

So much misinformation on this thread!! An orgasm can’t harm your baby 🤣 in fact if anything, it promotes healthy blood flow to the area so go for it 🤷‍♀️ I voted YANBU. If you want to do it, do it. I certainly wouldn’t in your situation, but so what? What I would do is irrelevant. There’s nothing ‘wrong’ with it. Just because most people would choose not to doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with your choice, it really comes down to preference. Yours is the only opinion that counts!

Personally I would stick to masturbation and my imagination plus maybe a bit of phone sex until after the baby is born OP' just incase the condom splits and he gives you some nasty infection.

To everyone who clutched their pearls and said oh no! Get stuffed! Just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you’re to give up your entirety and wait for baby to arrive while starching your cottons at home or some other such absolute shit. If you both get on, you’re safe, there’s no pressure and you’ll both enjoy yourselves then go for it. Yeah things might get a bit cloudy or confused but they might not. You can’t avoid doing things you’ll enjoy on the off chance things MIGHT go wrong x

Gotta love the people who come onto a thread 24 hours later to tell everyone to get stuffed.
Such eloquence, I am in awe.

I was in the same situation as you when I was pregnant, single not with babies father and honestly I don't think I've ever been so popular with the opposite sex! Clearly some men find pregnant woman very attractive. I had 2 old flames offer to be FWB! I had friends who thought this was really odd. Do whatever makes you happy (just be safe) xx

I was going to say that I don’t see why not but be careful! Pregnancy hormones can play havoc with your emotions and you could end up wanting totally different things. It isn’t a great time to be heartbroken with all things baby going on.

Then I read your updates and you think he might want more. I’d say now; no chance! If you both want to start something up once you are settled with baby then fine. Whilst pregnant it could just get really messy. Again, not what you want!

You know your life better than anyone on here though. It really comes down to what you want.

I agree something seems to feel off about it but I suppose that’s because, traditionally, people are pregnant because they are in a safe and committed relationship. If anyone was suggesting an affair whilst pregnant there would be outrage! Plus, it’s not a common situation.

You know yourself best, do what feels right but remember the hormones are raging!

Yea. I would find that whole scenario a bit tasteless.

Personally I wouldn't do it but that's because I know I feel very vulnerable and emotional during pregnancy. If you are confident that that it won't cause issues for you then I see no harm in it.

Libido is up while you are pregnant, it feels kinda natural to be considering this now. HOWEVER, after pregnancy is done, baby is out, I’m 100% you will regret having done it if you do it

My god I've only read 2 pages and some of you people are so judgemental.
Unless you are against sex whilst pregnant as a whole there shouldn't be a difference.
And for the person who said concentrate on the baby? WOW 😮 so people working, or people with children should also stop these things.
Sex is extremely healthy as long as safe sex is practiced and for many people really improves mental wellbeing.
OP go for it and like you said if you don't like it, no problem just stop 😊

Do it. I did when pregnant with my first born. Just remember that your hormones will make you emotional at times. My FWB at the time helped in so many ways it was amazing. He was caring and supportive and even when I was heavily pregnant he made me feel attractive and wanted. It was what I needed after the abuse I had suffered from my baby daddy. Not everyone will understand and some will find it weird but as long as you’re careful it can be good for you.

Why do people still view sex as something a woman gives to a man as oposed to recognising women have needs.

So, what do the moral police think happens when you have 2 lesbians in a relationship and one is pregnant?

Actually I do think the people whining and ragepissing about how 'disgusting' the OP is for even thinking about having sex while pregnant are the bad guys here. It is extremely dangerous to project your pathetic superstitions onto other people. If you can't accept that some pregnant women who you have never met has every right to shag twenty different men a night if she fancies doing so, then you are buying into the idea that pregnant women are not people - that they are the property of the state/other people's imaginary friends/whichever man actually impregnated them, whether or not he's willing to be a father rather than a sperm donor.
Babies are not 'people' till they are born, women are not walking incubators, and sex is not something that women gain virtue points from witholding and only doling out reluctantly.

If you can't accept that some pregnant women who you have never met has every right to shag twenty different men a night if she fancies doing so, then you are buying into the idea that pregnant women are not people

I wouldn’t recommend anyone - male, female, pregnant or not - to do this regardless of whether it’s their right to.

You don’t have to be a prude to acknowledge the reality that sex is not 100% consequence free in any circumstance.

Nothing is 100* consequence-free. But everyone gets to choose for themselves what risks they are willing to take. (Being put at risk by someone dishonest is a different matter.)
Most of the people who are into multiple relationships or lots of NSA sex are very insistent on condom use etc.

I can understand your misgivings OP but personally wouldn't have a problem with it. The "ickiness" (are we at primary school?) being expressed is probably because this is not a cultural norm. 100 years ago a similar degree of discomfort might have been expressed about premarital relationships or homosexuality, but times change.

Saying it's tacky is judgy and just rude

If the condom split, or he had one of those diseases that can get round a condom (like genital warts), the baby could catch an std.

Also, as your hormones are or will be in a whirl, and you'll be more emotional, you could end up "catching feelings" this time, which could be messy in the long run.

"Clearly some men find pregnant woman very attractive."

I think the fact they couldn't impregnate an already pregnant woman, is a big part of the appeal too, especially if they're only interested in a fling/fwb.