To have a FWB when pregnant?

[GirlOnIt]

More would I be than am I, because I’ve not done anything yet.
I’m obviously single, split with baby’s dad and have been chatting with a FWB, but just as friends. Last night he got a bit flirty in his chat and suggested he’d be open to us resuming the benefits part of our friendship. I’m tempted because I do really miss sex, but feel it’s a bit off to sleep with someone who’s not my baby’s father while I’m pregnant.

I don’t know if to just give it a go and if it feels weird then say, nope I’ve changed my mind. I know him well enough to know that wouldn’t be a problem at all.

And he’s definitely single and we’d obviously use condoms.

GirlOnIt, an unborn baby is not going to know what is going on and I doubt his/her parents would mention it a few years later.

Why not? Pregnant sex is great, and if you have a perfect, no-strings source for it I say go nuts. Also, zero risk of accidental pregnancy.

Im from the yuck end of this debate. Poor baby.

Yuck.

Have some self respect for goodness sake

What a bizarre comment. What makes you think the OP has no self respect?

Good sisters talk. And my sister has given consent for me to add this:

My sister, who holds a professional job, had sex with several people during her pregnancy (long ago now). She married further down the line too.

She didn’t develop 3 eyes as a result of sex during pregnancy, didn’t get sued by the baby and said daughter is now at law school.

Moot point now anyway! But I have plenty of self respect thanks @MaisieDaisy1 and why on earth poor baby @Scarriff? I get some people thinks it's weird/yucky I've repeatedly said I've felt weird about it myself so I get that. But poor baby, really!

In my opinion its whatever you are comfortable with. The whole "disrespectful/concentrate on baby" arguments are just silly, you wouldnt stop having sex with a DP or DH because you were too busy concentrating on your pregnancy.

If you feel he is considerate, wont cause you any dramas etc. and are protected I really dont see the issue with it at all.

I’m probably older than a lot of posters on here and I have Nrtft. I see no issues with you having sex with whoever you want if you and the other guy (or girl come to that) are both single and consenting adults and no one is being deceived. Cannot believe the prudish and morally judgy posts on here. The foetus will not know anything about it and is in no more ‘danger’ than if you were having sex with the man who got you pregnant. Sex is a normal human act - even for pregnant women- and in the 21st century people - especially other women - need to get past the whole ‘Madonna syndrome’.

Go for it op. Don’t listen to the prudes.

...if you don't mind him calling you a slut behind your back to his friends. He'll definitely brag about this COME ON

Maybe she doesn’t care if he calls her that? Maybe he won’t call her that or brag about it?

I can’t help but wonder what kind of men you know if that’s your first reaction....

Why are you so desperate for a bunk up?

"Poor baby" - that's the most laughable comment yet! I hope you aren't taking any of this to heart OP. There are some very strange people on here, they've clearly fully bought into the precious baby-carrying vessel bullshit! Now go and sit in a dark room and concentrate on the baby you shameless hussy

Hahaha oh my goodness, it just keeps on coming! Desperate for a bunk up 🤣

Some people meet and marry someone who isn't the father while pregnant.

But I've never understood FWB. The in intimacy involved, for me, is too emotional. And during pregnancy? Extra hormones are jumping everywhere without discretion.

As far as the negative comments/shaming, only you know that situation. But children are teased by peers. I know that I'm old fashioned, but once your baby is born, FWB may be confusing to your dc.

Why not go with your instinct? Obviously you've got doubts. Trust yourself.

Don’t worry OP, your self respect will remain intact despite the outrageously judgemental comments on here. From your tone and the way you describe your situation, I’d like to hope you spend your time in the company of more intelligent and emotionally mature people than Blubbabubba (so sad that anyone should feel their choices are limited for fear that other people will bully them!) Just because somebody immature calls another person a slut, doesn’t magically make it true. That’s like arguing that ‘nobody should freely express themselves or their preferences in case they get bullied for it.’ Obviously that’s ludicrous. Be yourself, you’re doing nothing wrong.

People will judge you, but if you’re ok with that then go for it. At the end of the day it isn’t anyone else’s business.

No. Don't do it. It's just a bit icky. And why would any man wish to sleep with someone carrying someone else's baby? Just buy a small sex toy and sterilize it between uses to avoid any UTIs (you're not meant to put anything too big up there whilst pregnant, so a Dr once told me).

Personally I don't think there is anything wrong with having a fwb whilst pregnant. You are still a woman who has needs, for gods sake. Ignore the pearl clutchers and go for it

Honestly @blubbabubba that never even crossed my mind. Maybe I just associate with men with far better attitudes than you.

Somewhat ironically it's him who's saying he can't handle FWB @Catsinthecupboard. He was thinking something more official.

The op has asked for views & received a wide range. She will make up her own mind. Its kind of strange that the posters supporting her in having sex with someone else are awful quick to call the rest of us judgemental. Do you always think that people who don't share your views are to be derided?

Do whatever makes you both feel good. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. You know each other well by the sound of it and presumably trust each other. If STIs worry you, both have a check first. You’re both humans for goodness sake!

My goodness, such judgement. I would have no issue with it OP, YANBU at all to have a FWB while pregnant.

Yuck from me, sorry.