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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a FWB when pregnant?

427 replies

GirlOnIt · 08/08/2019 11:03

More would I be than am I, because I’ve not done anything yet.
I’m obviously single, split with baby’s dad and have been chatting with a FWB, but just as friends. Last night he got a bit flirty in his chat and suggested he’d be open to us resuming the benefits part of our friendship. I’m tempted because I do really miss sex, but feel it’s a bit off to sleep with someone who’s not my baby’s father while I’m pregnant.

I don’t know if to just give it a go and if it feels weird then say, nope I’ve changed my mind. I know him well enough to know that wouldn’t be a problem at all.

And he’s definitely single and we’d obviously use condoms.

OP posts:
Iwanttobeagranny · 09/08/2019 17:32

You can’t drink, smoke or do drugs so I would definitely say yes to sex

ZforZack · 09/08/2019 17:34

I was also single & preggo , Cfex left at 5 months & I was practically dry humping the sofa ..
You do what suits you x

Namechangerextraordinaire1 · 09/08/2019 17:39

Interesting question. I have to say I find it a bit ick too, but as long as you're safe then I don't see why you shouldn't do it.

Jack80 · 09/08/2019 17:42

It's up to you but I wouldn't sleep with anyone while pregnant.

Pixiegirl76 · 09/08/2019 18:04

Who wants to sleep with a pregnant woman!! weird,Definately a no no.He may have a disease,,think about the baby.

Sacredspace · 09/08/2019 18:05

I imagine we have these feelings as nature’s way of protecting the unborn from infection.

flashdancer19 · 09/08/2019 18:13

It's up to you but I wouldn't sleep with anyone while pregnant.

@Jack80 does that include the father? Because if it dies that is seriously weird!

HeadintheiClouds · 09/08/2019 18:14

I think you know full well that’s not what she meant.

cherish123 · 09/08/2019 18:17

What is a FWB? I could read the thread but not obvious from original post.

Passenger42 · 09/08/2019 18:20

You may say now it’s just FWB but with your hormones racing I would say don’t do it as you may end up hurt and feeling used..

flashdancer19 · 09/08/2019 18:21

@HeadintheiClouds I presume that was aimed at me? No, I don't know full well, let's wait until she comes back and confirms? There really are women that weird out there.

flashdancer19 · 09/08/2019 18:21

@cherish123 it's friends with benefits

Jack80 · 09/08/2019 18:23

No it doesn't, but you have to be careful in certain points of pregnancy due to miscarriage

flashdancer19 · 09/08/2019 18:25

No it doesn't, but you have to be careful in certain points of pregnancy due to miscarriage

Utter rubbish!! Assuming it's a normal pregnancy I can think of NO RISK at any tine! Why would sex cause a miscarriage and at what point on a pregnancy?

WutheringBites · 09/08/2019 18:26

Can’t be bothered to rtft.

Just go for it. Why shouldn’t you? I have no stick with people saying it’s “yucky”. Life is too short to manage other random strangers ick factor.

Use sensible protection & enjoy, if that’s what you fancy Smile

Teddybear45 · 09/08/2019 18:27

You should both get a STI check and set boundaries to protect the baby - for example it may be FWB and casual but it needs to be exclusive.

flashdancer19 · 09/08/2019 18:29

@Teddybear45 I think that's the most sensible comment on this thread!

Original poster
GirlOnIt · 09/08/2019 18:29

Apologise I can't keep up with people's responses on here. I don't think we need to resort to any name calling though. I'm not offended at all that people think it's a bit weird/yucky or whatever. I asked and people gave their opinions and I know I wasn't sure myself, hence asking and not just jumping him.

Anyway we're been messaging a bit and I think I've misunderstood what he was suggesting anyway.
Think it's safe to say he doesn't have a pregnancy fetish Blush

OP posts:
Beaverdam · 09/08/2019 18:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

flashdancer19 · 09/08/2019 18:30

@GirlOnIt oh damn!

Loreleigh · 09/08/2019 18:31

I would say other people's opinions don't matter as much as your own here - if you are happy, he is happy, and you are both consenting adults and using contraceptive protection (more against STDs, HIV etc as obviously it's a bit late for the pregnancy part of the protection) then you are free to do as you please. Some people cope better than others with these types of relationships. Hormones & pregnancy affect people in different ways - emotions can change - sexual desires can change. As you have said, you can always change your mind if something doesn't feel right - and it sounds as though your friend would respect you whether or not you continue having sex. A good friend is important, and a good friend whilst pregnant and as a [single] parent would be good to have too. Do what feels right for you and if possible maintain this good friendship - sounds like a 'keeper' - and good luck with the baby.

BenjiB · 09/08/2019 18:37

Ewww just no!

Original poster
GirlOnIt · 09/08/2019 18:39

I know right @flashdancer19. Fucking men, aren't even good for the one thing they're good for!
(Meant very lightheartedly, I still love him as a friend. Just seems he's feeling more than that).

OP posts:
YouCannotBeeSerious · 09/08/2019 18:40

When I was pregnant neither me or my other half were particularly up for it.

Didn't help my foof changed shape. To quote Jimmy Carr... "It looked like a bulldog licking mayonnaise" Shock

You go for it, not for me though.

MaisieDaisy1 · 09/08/2019 18:42

Have some self respect for goodness sake.

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