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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DH's work food stash is weird and slightly annoying?

315 replies

FeatherySquawkington · 08/08/2019 08:34

So I do all the food shopping (we have 2DC) I make the dinner and pack the lunches. DH makes his own sandwiches for work and will take fruit but he actually buys masses of cereal bars, chocolate bars and his favourite crisps and keeps them at work in his desk drawers. I find it quite irritating that he has his own food stash when I do a good job at shopping and keeping everyone fed and would be more than happy to buy anything he put on the list. He says it's because it's easier than getting it out if the cupboard every morning, but he makes a sandwich and gets himself several pieces of fruit every day?

OP posts:
Louloubelle78 · 08/08/2019 10:40

My partner does that. Why would you lug stuff into the office when there is probably a Sainsbury's or Tesco's near the office.

topcat2014 · 08/08/2019 10:46

How would you resist it though? I would eat bags and bags each day

isthatapugunicorn · 08/08/2019 10:49

Everyone in my office has snacks in their desks! Doesn't have to be unhealthy though - mine is mainly nuts and green tea, with the occasional bar of something. We're a good 5 mins walk to the nearest store which isn't practical in the middle of the afternoon when you're running from meeting to meeting.

Sleepyquest · 08/08/2019 10:51

I do the same as your husband for these reasons

  1. I never forget to take them
  2. my DH hasn't eaten them all
  3. saves me money as I don't then pop out at lunch time

What's the issue??

AlunWynsKnee · 08/08/2019 10:54

Online shopping with him having to join in the meal planning and unpacking is the way to go.

DH has an odd relationship to food so he needs his desk stash to be his business because he has issues!

Franklymydearidontgiveadam · 08/08/2019 10:57

Life's really too fucking short to be petty about bloody food shopping and snacks in desk drawers.

Grrr this had really annoyed me!

A close friend married her terminally partner last week and he has days left to live.

This shit is so petty and small when you put it into perspective.

And if anything I love doing the shopping. It gets me out of the house for a bit.

Oldraver · 08/08/2019 11:00

Where's the problem ? OH has a stash of Mr Kipling's in his room. We buy with the normal food shop but seperate it off. It doesn'y bother me at all and I know where it is so can raid his stash

Gillian1980 · 08/08/2019 11:01

Yabu.

I really don’t see how it could be a problem.

He chooses what he wants, buys it when he needs to stock up and has it all to hand at work. Makes total sense to me.

AnneLovesGilbert · 08/08/2019 11:01

Who the hell takes offence at their partner having a pack of Tracker bars in their desk at work?

Me, have you had a Tracker bar recently? I remembered them when trawling the shop near my office to stock up my desk stash and was so exciting I bought a box of each flavour. Well. What a crashing bloody disappointment! Angry The bars are half the size they used to be and taste horrendous. No one should buy them, they’re grim.

On the wider point, my drawer stash when I was pregnant was so big I had to start putting paperwork on top of and under my desk to make room. DH and I even buy each other stuff for our stashes...

RitaMills · 08/08/2019 11:02

Jesus Christ man, this is a complete non issue.

Everyone has a stash of crap in their work drawers, I’m genuinely baffled why this bothered you?!

IAintWroteNoPoetry · 08/08/2019 11:05

YABU, you’d hate my DH, he has a stash everywhere. We do a joint food shop for the stuff we actually need for our meals, but our snacks we buy ourselves. It isn’t like he’s wasting your money on stuff you don’t eat

Funghi · 08/08/2019 11:10

What goes on between a person and their treat drawer is their business.

Get your own.

ContessaLovesTheSunshine · 08/08/2019 11:11

OP, I think the subtext here is that you feel you are the one who takes care of everything (housework, shopping, mental load stuff) and that he just swans off and buys whatever he fancies for himself to eat at work. It's the fact that he only needs to think of himself while you need to think about everyone all the time (or rather, that's how you're feeling about it right now). The actual work food stash is a bit of a red herring.

Have I assessed that correctly?

Longdistance · 08/08/2019 11:15

I have a stash of things in my drawer at work, but I share it with my colleagues.

Dh however annoyingly takes sandwich stuff to work, and I sometimes have to go to the shops as he’s taken it all with him 🙄 twat!

Fcukthisshit · 08/08/2019 11:15

Pretty much every person in my office has a “food drawer”. We also have a freezer full of ice creams as well. I don’t think it’s weird at all.

dottiedodah · 08/08/2019 11:15

Cant see a problem TBH .Most people have a few snacks at work for dipping into to increase energy levels/relieve boredom etc

Horehound · 08/08/2019 11:18

Have I assessed that correctly?

No, because if you read the Op again you will see she is perfectly happy to do the shop. And what difference does it make if he buys his snack stuff separately. Don't read so much into it @ContessaLovesTheSunshine

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 08/08/2019 11:34

Who would have a problem with this?

How can an adult be bothered, it doesn’t mean you don’t do the shopping adequately Confused

OrdinarySnowflake · 08/08/2019 11:35

Oh OP, I think I understand your issue - it's not that he buys food for work, it's that by doing that, he shows that he is perfectly capable of planning what food he might want/need in advance, going to the shops and picking it up, but when it comes to the family food shop, he suddenly is incapable of buying a list that eg contains "peppers" without phoning you to ask where they would be, and red or green or yellow and would you like him to buy a packet that's a mix of 3 or separate ones. Then 2 minutes later the range of pasta available requires another call....

Online shopping might be the way to go, once you've done it a couple of times you can suggest he uses a previous shop as a base.

But mainly, you need to question why you have taken on all the household duties, when you both work and you can see he is capable of doing them too if he needs to. You need to make him feel he needs to.

LagunaBubbles · 08/08/2019 11:38

He's a grown adult so can buy whst he wants when he wants. Giving you a list for you to do it is not the point!

Horehound · 08/08/2019 11:38

Wow, people really do like to turn facts into stories on here. The OP stated in her first post she was HAPPY TO DO THE SHOP!

BritWifeinUSA · 08/08/2019 11:43

He’s being very sensible buying his snacks in multipacks and keeping them at work. Much cheaper than stopping at a petrol station or convenience store each day and buying a bag of crisps or bar of chocolate at individual prices.

Most people at my workplace to this. Including me. I like to have a selection to choose from if I fancy a snack during the day, just as you would have at home.

OMGshefoundmeout · 08/08/2019 11:57

My snack drawer contains a spoon and a jar of peanut butter. Your DH’s sounds much more civilised.

ShippingNews · 08/08/2019 12:09

I'd guess that he does this because if they were at home, other people would eat them. By keeping them at work he knows what he has available.

Applejack5 · 08/08/2019 12:10

The only food in my desk drawer at the moment is an apple. I'm feeling a bit envious... I'd better up my stash!

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