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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DH's work food stash is weird and slightly annoying?

315 replies

FeatherySquawkington · 08/08/2019 08:34

So I do all the food shopping (we have 2DC) I make the dinner and pack the lunches. DH makes his own sandwiches for work and will take fruit but he actually buys masses of cereal bars, chocolate bars and his favourite crisps and keeps them at work in his desk drawers. I find it quite irritating that he has his own food stash when I do a good job at shopping and keeping everyone fed and would be more than happy to buy anything he put on the list. He says it's because it's easier than getting it out if the cupboard every morning, but he makes a sandwich and gets himself several pieces of fruit every day?

OP posts:
Cheeseandwin5 · 08/08/2019 15:44

at managedmis
The issue is that her DH doesn't pull his weight when it comes to shopping buying and food prep.
You did read her first post didn't you? There was no indication that she was worried about her DH not pulling his weight, in fact just the opposite, she wanted him to do less and for her to include it her shop. You seem to want to blame her DH without even thinking about the Op has written, chosing certain stories and ignoring the facts.

Didn't realise we'd stepped into 1590's hysteria
Yes because having someone who wants to control every part of someone else life is always funny.

I assume you would be singing a very different tune if the genders were reversed.
It so sad when peoples can be so openly hypocritical and still feel they are right.

Original poster
FeatherySquawkington · 08/08/2019 15:48

Some of these posts have made me laugh so thank you.

Firstly, the original post was light-hearted - I haven't actually said anything to DH and I'm not going to, so it's not a control issue.

Secondly, I don't, and have never, worked in an office so didn't know the work stash was so common.

Thirdly, my original post was about the food stash but as a result of all the posts and thinking about it a bit more I've realised I actually have an issue with the shopping generally. No big deal, I can realise that and do something about it, so thank you for all the helpful posts.

OP posts:
Floopily · 08/08/2019 15:56

I don't think he's the weird one...

I mostly take food from home for lunch and DH usually makes it for me unless it's leftovers but I have a snack stash in my drawer in case I get peckish / have to work late / fancy something different. Most people I work with do the same and we share stuff. DH literally could not care less, same as I don't worry about what he eats when we're not together or when/where he buys it.

Being annoyed about this is really strange!

Mitebiteatnite · 08/08/2019 16:05

I felt a little offended when I found out about DHs work stash. I do all the food shopping and always felt that I kept everybody happy, but then I found out he had a drawer full of snacks at work. So he explained that he doesn't always fancy the same stuff and instead of giving me half a dozen different things to add to the list every week (which I'll add, nobody else in the house eats, really spicy crisps etc) he'd just pick them up on his way to work and keep them there.

No biggie Grin

MyCatPeedOnTheCurtains · 09/08/2019 05:27

I have a work stash. I get hungry.
If I left my stash at home my greedy husband would eat it all.

ThisIsNotMyRealName1 · 09/08/2019 05:47

he regularly keeps packets of biscuits in the cupboard to munch on in the evening and nobody touches them unless offered

I concur @Pricedrop Grin = WHAAAAT? This is the weirdest thing about the thread IMO. Those biscuits would be GONE in our house 🤣

MyOtherProfile · 09/08/2019 07:21

Ha! I thought that was weird too!

OoohRhubarbLetsGo · 09/08/2019 11:29

I’m beginning to develop a problem with the word ‘stash’ - I have read it so much on this thread that it’s stopped looking like real word.

Stash stash stash stash...

What old happen if anyone ate the biscuits from the cupboard at home? Or does everyone have a treat which is just theirs?

Greeborising · 09/08/2019 11:32

I don’t see the problem tbh.
He can’t keep his sandwich and fruit at work can he.
I’d be delighted he was making his own lunch and not asking me to do it!

BarbaraofSeville · 09/08/2019 11:44

So the issue is that he seems happy to go into a supermarket for himself but not the family?

When and where is he doing this shopping? Obviously if he's buying it on the way to work or at lunchtime he can't buy anything that needs refridgeration although stuff will probably be OK in the car all day in winter (I often shop on the way to work because the shops are quiet and fully stocked but in the afternoon, there can be empty shelves and I just want to get home).

But if he's going after work, he could always ask you if anything is needed while you are there?

Doing online shopping together is a good idea, so he knows what sort of things you buy and then there's a chance to get his stash at the same time. You might also want to think about starting your own stash, because this thread and another one show that we all have them.

dollydaydream114 · 09/08/2019 15:08

he leaves me to do all the meal planning/shopping/cooking/packed lunch

Your initial post strongly implied that you were offended by his shopping because you took it as some sort of criticism of your food shopping abilities, so perhaps you give the impression that anyone else suggesting they get involved in your shopping and meal planning is something you would be immensely offended by.

In a month's time I predict a post that says 'My DH has started coming food shopping with me and is putting loads of unhealthy crap in the trolley for him to eat at work. Why is he encroaching on my territory and suggesting I don't know how to shop, and how can I stop him deviating from my carefully planned shopping list?"

WTFSandra · 09/08/2019 17:27

twitter.com/mumsnet_madness/status/1159421320314179584?s=21

I see you made the hit parade!

lotusbell · 09/08/2019 17:31

Anyway else do this and erm, have no self control?? I think it'd be better for my waistline if I didnt do this Blush

DreamTheMoors · 09/08/2019 17:39

What’s the problem? My DH is the owner of a large seasonal company but small year-round office staff. He keeps a large drawer in his desk full of every kind of candy & treat available. Everybody gets in it & he replenishes when necessary. It’s a treat for the DC & DGC when they visit.
The problem is yours - not your DH’s. Lighten up.

Tessabelle74 · 09/08/2019 17:42

I can't see an issue? I have a stash on my top shelf at home to stop the kids eating it, that's no different than in a drawer at work

Jack80 · 09/08/2019 17:44

I don't see a problem, you could mention that you could get them when you go shopping but it's a stash to snack on and your kids could eat them maybe if there in the cupboard.

Tommo75 · 09/08/2019 17:46

My husband does this and I don't mind when he buys it himself. I get irritated if he expects special treats just for him in the weekly shop because we're a family not students in a house share.

OlivaX · 09/08/2019 17:49

You can’t control everything. Let the man stash his bars. I think you are being weird.

BlueJava · 09/08/2019 17:55

I have a work food stash too! Few cereal bars, crisps (cheaper if you buy a pack then have 1 for lunch) etc. Normal!

gearandloathing · 09/08/2019 18:01

Is he your husband or your child?

muffins145 · 09/08/2019 18:03

I don't think your husbands the wierd one here 🥴🥴🥴

muffins145 · 09/08/2019 18:04

Weird

cherish123 · 09/08/2019 18:19

You are being weird. He is an adult. I keep tea at work as it's easier than bringing in teabags each day.

FattyPeddledFuriously999 · 09/08/2019 18:25

Food stash is essential to surviving office work for the week Grin

Beaverdam · 09/08/2019 18:40

I dont think hes doing anything wrong. Its normal to have food in the office.

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