To think DH's work food stash is weird and slightly annoying?

[FeatherySquawkington]

So I do all the food shopping (we have 2DC) I make the dinner and pack the lunches. DH makes his own sandwiches for work and will take fruit but he actually buys masses of cereal bars, chocolate bars and his favourite crisps and keeps them at work in his desk drawers. I find it quite irritating that he has his own food stash when I do a good job at shopping and keeping everyone fed and would be more than happy to buy anything he put on the list. He says it's because it's easier than getting it out if the cupboard every morning, but he makes a sandwich and gets himself several pieces of fruit every day?

You do “a good job at shopping” .... getting vibes of stay at home mum who is out of touch with what it’s like to work a career? Not a criticism. Just that you’ve mentioned his work and nothing about you working other then working the shopping list. If that is the case, take some time to ground and get perspective? He’s not just “out” all day, he’s actually working and if he’s eating junk like cereal bars it’s likely cause he wants junk food stress relief (sugar cravings are related to stress). My mum is a SAHM who has never worked in her life but tells people she works really hard watering the garden and preparing dinner, she’s so out of touch.

I knew there must be something else! You should definitely either alternate weeks doing laundry and shopping (I think shopping plus dishwasher is fairer, but if alternating it all works out) or each specialise in one area. Do not criticise or help he will learn better by doing and who should criticise for a job done. And when he asks or phones ‘whatever you think sweetie’ will do, he will stop asking"

The way I see it you don’t want to end up living with a 60+ year old and doing allthe chores, so redress the balance now.

Nope! Not weird or annoying!! I have treats at the bottom of my work bag to pep me and my colleagues up in an emergency and a multipack of Diet Coke in the work fridge so it’s nice and cold to slurp on my break!

I have updated a few times but people are obviously unable/can't be bothered to RTFT. I work every day but school hours so I can still be around for the DC.

I can't actually get my head around the amount of responses on this - I obviously hit a nerve and will step away from the topic of work food drawers once and for all. And for everyone saying I'm weird/controlling, I haven't actually done or said anything about this to DH - he is completely oblivious and is still happily stocking up his snack drawer. For the record, I don't actually know what's in there and I'm not interested enough to ask!

I honestly had never heard of work food stashes until I saw a different thread about this the other day!

Stop being so reasonable Feathery. It doesn't fit the narrative that everyone has created for who you are and your entire marriage based on one small snapshot of one small aspect of it.

@featherysquawkington why on earth would everyone be bothered to read through every page of this about your husbands snack drawer. Why did you even post this? There is something else on going, you haven’t hit a nerve I think its just people trying to work out what is ACTUALLY the issue cause what you posted is so ridiculous.

To be fair they do y have to read through every response but if they are that invested might want to search for any updates at least.....
I don't think they are trying to work out the deeper issue because I'm a stranger on the internet and everyone has their own lives. I think I simply hit a nerve.

*they don't have to read through every response that should say

YABU
I totally can't see the problem here.

Have only read to pg 7 as its a long one - but THIS is weird and HE is being VU:
FeatherySquawkington
I don't control what he eats and there would be no fear of it being eaten if he left it at home - he regularly keeps packets of biscuits in the cupboard to munch on in the evening and nobody touches them unless offered.
He has biscuits in the family home which you and DC would only touch if offered???!!!??? WOW! THAT is the real AIBU.
What would he say or do if you took one without being offered? And if he wouldn't say or do anything then why wouldn't you take one without being offered? There seem to be odd food rules and behaviours in your household op.

Well that escalated quickly.

OP, could you ask him to take turns with the food shop? And if he accepts, could you take note of how this makes you feel... maybe he’s lazy and you’re fed up? Maybe you will find you actually prefer to be the one in charge of the food shopping? Or maybe you’re angry about the money he is spending purely on himself?
What would happen if you regularly spent money on something for exclusively for yourself?
But ultimately, the real question is... what’s stopping you from telling him how you feel?

Whatever the issues are, I hope you find a way forwards that allows you to feel more comfortable and more connected with your husband.

Life is complex, it’s so easy to judge. Don’t waste too much thought on the unconstructive comments :)

Omg jeez what's your problem.
I buy my own work stash of chocolate, cereal bars, drinks, crisps, fruit etc.
Most people at work do this.
You need to find something bigger to worry about

But in your update you still acknowledge the initial reason you started the thread was legit.
And it is weird

Everyone I know has a work stash.
Crisps: Pack of 6 for £1/£1.50 or 70p for single pack in the vending machines.
Chocolate: 4 bars for £1 or 80p a single bar in vending machines
Only crisps and chocolate available in vending machines, lots of other lovely lower calorie snacks from supermarkets.

No brainier!