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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DH's work food stash is weird and slightly annoying?

315 replies

FeatherySquawkington · 08/08/2019 08:34

So I do all the food shopping (we have 2DC) I make the dinner and pack the lunches. DH makes his own sandwiches for work and will take fruit but he actually buys masses of cereal bars, chocolate bars and his favourite crisps and keeps them at work in his desk drawers. I find it quite irritating that he has his own food stash when I do a good job at shopping and keeping everyone fed and would be more than happy to buy anything he put on the list. He says it's because it's easier than getting it out if the cupboard every morning, but he makes a sandwich and gets himself several pieces of fruit every day?

OP posts:
minisoksmakehardwork · 08/08/2019 12:10

What happens when your dh does the grocery shop? What happens when you don't meal plan?

If you feel resentful that you're taking in more of the load then you need to talk to him about how it makes you feel.

Dh leaves me to do the grocery shopping because of his work hours. Plus I meal plan so know what we do and don't have in. When it comes to dh planning a meal he tends to go out and buy everything he needs, regardless of whether we already had it at home or not.

LifeInAHamsterWheel · 08/08/2019 12:16

Me too Applejack5 Grin

I feel like a complete eejit now, I have a whole (albeit tiny) office to myself and I have no stash whatsoever! I now feel incomplete!! Definitely need to up my game on the office stash front...

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/08/2019 12:24

Online shopping is your friend. I’d do that and talk to him about letting you know if he’s going to do a personal shop in case you want him to collect some bits and bobs at the same time. Dh buys himself stuff from Sainsbury’s once or twice a month as I do Tesco delivers and the offering is different and he gets anything missing at the same time. I text a list.

DonnaDarko · 08/08/2019 12:26

It's weird if you DON'T have a work stash Grin

StarlightToCasualMoths · 08/08/2019 12:28

I have a food stash at work and if DH comes to pick me up he has been known to raid it to eat on the way home.

CaptainMyCaptain · 08/08/2019 12:40

When I was a teacher I kept emergency chocolate and sweets in the cupboard which I would grab at 3.15 when the children went home. I really needed that energy boost to do my tidying up, paperwork and prep.

RhiWrites · 08/08/2019 12:49

@Horehound

OP updated twice and said that on reflection she is not happy about having to do the whole big shop. People aren’t making up stories, they are reading her updates.

ContessaLovesTheSunshine · 08/08/2019 12:50

Gosh, I didn't realise you knew the OP so well Horehound Grin

I do the majority of shopping for my own home and would generally describe myself as 'quite happy' to do it. However I do also feel annoyed at DH when he manages to provide for himself perfectly well but loses all capacity when presented with a list of needs for the family. You can feel ok about something in general but annoyed when you stop to consider the matter, you know.

kateandme · 08/08/2019 12:55

do you have nice food at home.

Horehound · 08/08/2019 12:55

@RhiWrites yes she conveniently xhnaged the story after nit 1 single person agreed with her.
Let's remember the thread title too "To think DH's work food stash is weird and slightly annoying"

It's not weird and it can't be annoying because she doesn't have to actually do anything different. She clearly stated she was happy to do it and even said she should buy the stuff for him.

ContessaLovesTheSunshine

Gosh, I didn't realise you knew the OP so well Horehound

I can read and understand something you clearly can't! It's obvious..

JammieCodger · 08/08/2019 13:04

Having thought like the others that yabu, I’ve completely changed my mind.

People, he isn’t topping up his snack stash on the way into the office, or at lunchtime. This is him doing a trip to the supermarket near home, and only buying stuff for himself. That is a totally different kettle of fish and completely out of order. Who goes grocery shopping without asking the other members of the household if there’s anything else that’s needed?

YANBU. LTB.

SolsticeBabyMaybe · 08/08/2019 13:04

He's actually being sensible... By making sure he has easy to access snacks at work, he's probably spending less money than if he was buying snacks on the fly to keep his energy up during the day.

I think it's a bit weird and controlling to be questioning it... You can have your own personal stash if you like?

RhiWrites · 08/08/2019 13:32

@Horehound

She didn’t change the story, she acknowledged she was being unreasonable and decided it was because she felt she was shopping for the family while husband was just shopping for himself.

Have you never been irritated by something and only later realise it’s actually something else that’s causing the irritation? It’s not that unusual an experience.

Horehound · 08/08/2019 13:36

Nope :)

Cheeseandwin5 · 08/08/2019 13:53

I cant believe ppl can not see the problem here. It is about a controlling person, who needs help. After the initial post the OP has tried to change her argument and add extra 'wrong doings' by her DH. I don't believe a bit of it. The original post was clear, the OP was unhappy that her DH bought items that hadn't gone via her. It is beyond scary, and I do worry what his future holds for him should she really feel she has been wronged.

HeadintheiClouds · 08/08/2019 13:58

She did indeed change the story, saying her post about her annoyance at the snacks was a red herring (!) and she was really pissed off about something else.
Why not post about the something else?

ContessaLovesTheSunshine · 08/08/2019 14:10

I wish I was as self-aware and well-adjusted as you, Horehound.

purplecorkheart · 08/08/2019 14:18

Why do you want to get involved with the snack buying at all? Why do you want to sit with him when he is ordering online? Sorry but if the roles were reversed we would all be saying it is controlling. Fair enough to expect him to do the weekly shop while he is at the supermarket but let him buy his own snacks and don't get involved.

Horehound · 08/08/2019 14:29

ContessaLovesTheSunshine enough with the sighs and the grins..It's all very patronising and childish.

It's clear to me and a few others what's happened with the OP posting. People falling for her "oh it was a red herring first post" pfft no it wasn't and neither was the title. She is just plain wrong and is now embarrassed!

QuestionableMouse · 08/08/2019 14:32

Eh, everyone needs a drawer of inappropriate starches.

zvjezdica · 08/08/2019 14:55

My friend has a ridiculous amount of oatcakes, sweets, cereal bars and nuts in her office. I can confirm that it is in no way a slight to her husband, it's just that she likes to keep things in the office to snack on so she doesn't forget them at home then end up going to the shop near her work and spending money on things she already has at home.
Another friend keeps packets of biscuits and cans of Irn Bru and Pepsi Max in a cupboard in his office for similar reasons.
Basically, your husband eats snacks at work, and keeps them there for convenience, like pretty much everyone else who works in an office does. Nothing to worry about Smile

Nofunkingworriesmate · 08/08/2019 14:59

I’m another one finding it hard to understand problem? do you think he has an eating disorder bad diet or hoarding issue? Does he eat the food or is it wasted? I have a work draw full of things I’ve bought myself and like to have at work, never mentioned it to OH

managedmis · 08/08/2019 15:04

The issue isn't that her DH has his own work stash of goodies.

The issue is that her DH doesn't pull his weight when it comes to shopping buying and food prep.

Different issue, which we've seen on here before.

'I suppose I'm more annoyed that he leaves me to do all the meal planning/shopping/cooking/packed lunch but can quite happily go out and buy food just for him'

YANBU. He CBA shopping for the family, but will for himself.

managedmis · 08/08/2019 15:06

It is beyond scary, and I do worry what his future holds for him should she really feel she has been wronged.

^

Didn't realise we'd stepped into 1590's hysteria

GrinHmm

brownjumper · 08/08/2019 15:06

Crikey, count yourself lucky! My Dh eats all my snacks stash that I buy for the kids and instead of having one he has two. So my weeks shopping does not last. I'd love it if he bought his own stash and didn't eat the households!