To think DH's work food stash is weird and slightly annoying?

[FeatherySquawkington]

So I do all the food shopping (we have 2DC) I make the dinner and pack the lunches. DH makes his own sandwiches for work and will take fruit but he actually buys masses of cereal bars, chocolate bars and his favourite crisps and keeps them at work in his desk drawers. I find it quite irritating that he has his own food stash when I do a good job at shopping and keeping everyone fed and would be more than happy to buy anything he put on the list. He says it's because it's easier than getting it out if the cupboard every morning, but he makes a sandwich and gets himself several pieces of fruit every day?

Nipping into the supermarket for snacks is different to doing a big shop.

If you want him to do the shop, tell him

Moaning that he buys stuff for his drawer is beyond petty. Especially of you would be fine with still doing the food shop and picking up his snacks.

How does you getting his snacks resolve the the problem you have with him not doing the food shop.

I only know about the stash as he leaves a massive bag of food with his work bag when he's been and I've asked him what it was for. I guess my original post was a bit of a red herring - thinking about it more it is the shopping that's the annoying thing. I couldn't care less what he eats at work, it's his body and I've never told him what he can and can't eat.

Ok , so the root of the problem is that he can’t be bothered to contribute any effort to household meal planning/ shopping etc. No reason why he should get out of that.

I do this. Because then I have a choice about what I eat at the time I actually decide I want to eat something. I can choose between cereal bar a, cereal bar b, rice cakes, etc. I don't want to have to decide before I leave for work.

I get my work stash from the shop next door. I wouldn't want to get the whole family's shop while I pop over during my lunch break? Is he going to get these during times he could go shopping for the family? I'm still confused typed while munching on the macadamia nuts in my work stash

Way OTT, I'd be pretty pissed if my OH started interfering h with my snack stash!

So what would happen if next shopping day you said "dh, we need food shopping, you can do it today thanks".

What would his response be?

I understand OP's point now. Family shopping = her responsibility, DH goes to the supermarket but only to buy bits for himself. If he's going, why doesn't he do a whole shop so OP doesn't have to. Instead he's duplicating work. Presumably he doesn't help with the family shopping because he doesn't have time, but he has time to go and buy chocolate for himself.

I think you need to frame it a bit differently as your original post sounded very odd!

I haven't actually moaned at him/questioned him about it. I'm definitely not going to mention it after this AIBU thread! Don't want to be seen as weird, petty or controlling....

DH has a work stash. ( I don't - I have to hot desk - sob.) He sometimes puts the multipacks on the main shopping order and the whisks them away to work the next day. Selfish bastard

Honestly, it seems like you're taking his stash rather personally as a form of criticism when it really is just a kind of psychological crutch for him.

I'd be more worried about the fact that you do all the food shopping and prep yourself. That does sound a bit unequal.

LTB, he’s gaslighting your shopping abilities.

YABU. He’s perfectly entitled to do this ffs!! Stop inventing problems where there are none.

Do you both work full time and you still do all the food organisation/buying/prep? That is a separate issue in that case.

Total non issue.
Failing to see what there is to be annoyed or irritated about, even if he does do a separate shop for it.
Commonplace in offices - I used to do a similar thing.
I think you’re taking it personally somehow?

Just checked my work stash. I my drawer there are cup a soup pasta thingies, a bag of nuts and raisins and some dubious wine gums. The shared office stash which we all contribute to has Kitkats, bananas and Haribo.
Also have mint tea for when all of the above causes indigestion!

He wouldn't do the weekly shopping - I would get constant phonecalls/video calls asking me about everything on the list e.g where it was in the shop, which brand I wanted, what to replace something with if they were out of stock. It's beyond stressful so I do it myself.

I do this too. It's easier. Always snacks at work if needed. I don't see what the problem is.

Literally everybody i know in my (huge) office has a desk stash. most of us also buy it separately from the main food shop (i do the main food shop - i still buy my offices snacks separately). no idea why to be honest, but it just doesn’t feel right to mix “office storage” and “home storage”

I work every day but school hours so I plan and cook the evening meals.

Dh could be like this.

So I just ignore the phone, or I say "I'm sure you will figure something out darling", or I tell him to do what he thinks is best.

If he doesn't know what brands you buy etc it sounds like he definitely needs the practice.

It’s nice to buy your own snacks / treats depending on what you fancy.

Do you plan what you will have in a cafe or from an ice cream van in advance and put it in the family food list?

You do seem strangely hung up on this.

I actually can't see how this affects you in any way, so I'm struggling to see what your problem is with it.

There is no issue here. What is the DH is doing is fairly typical!

I miss my work stash now that I'm a SAHM😏🤣