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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DH's work food stash is weird and slightly annoying?

315 replies

FeatherySquawkington · 08/08/2019 08:34

So I do all the food shopping (we have 2DC) I make the dinner and pack the lunches. DH makes his own sandwiches for work and will take fruit but he actually buys masses of cereal bars, chocolate bars and his favourite crisps and keeps them at work in his desk drawers. I find it quite irritating that he has his own food stash when I do a good job at shopping and keeping everyone fed and would be more than happy to buy anything he put on the list. He says it's because it's easier than getting it out if the cupboard every morning, but he makes a sandwich and gets himself several pieces of fruit every day?

OP posts:
TooOldForThisWhoCares · 08/08/2019 09:00

I think this is one of those rare unanimous YABUs.
Although I have to say, I don't have a work stash and I now I feel like a weirdo because of it...
I will start planning one immediately.

Original poster
FeatherySquawkington · 08/08/2019 09:02

I didn't realise work stashes were a must have! I suppose I'm more annoyed that he leaves me to do all the meal planning/shopping/cooking/packed lunch but can quite happily go out and buy food just for him. It's not a money thing - we have a joint account.

Oh well, that's me well and truly told Blush

OP posts:
Wishihad · 08/08/2019 09:02

OP isnt bothered about his health.

She said she will buy it if he puts it on the list. Theres no issue with what he is eating.

Just that he keeps it at work.

cocomelon23 · 08/08/2019 09:02

That's a strange thing to be annoyed about. Everyone in my office keeps snacks at work.

Magicpaintbrush · 08/08/2019 09:02

Blimey OP, in the nicest possible way ... wind thy neck in, you aren't his mum....let him eat at work as he wishes Confused

SoyDora · 08/08/2019 09:03

I am seriously, genuinely confused as to why you think this is an issue.
It’s not something I’ve ever done (I’d probably eat it all in a day if it was sat there under my nose!) but I can’t fathom why you are bothered by it.
Is it because you like to control what the whole family eats?

Wishihad · 08/08/2019 09:04

I'm more annoyed that he leaves me to do all the meal planning/shopping/cooking/packed lunch but can quite happily go out and buy food just for him.

No it's not. Because you said you would happily buy it for him. If you issue is that he doesnt do the food shopping, you would have said that.

You seem to be taking his food stash as him saying you arent good at shopping.

SoyDora · 08/08/2019 09:04

I suppose I'm more annoyed that he leaves me to do all the meal planning/shopping/cooking/packed lunch but can quite happily go out and buy food just for him

Well yeah that’s a fair point. Maybe time to rethink how chores are shared in the family.

scratchbass · 08/08/2019 09:04

I find it weird when people don't have a work stash! Those people who are 'starving' at work or have their lunch two hours early - they are just poor at snack planning. Your husband sounds sensible.

My stash consists of non-perishables, like cereal bars, nuts, crisps etc, plus tins of soup for emergencies. I don't always buy stuff in the weekly shop and just top it up when things run out.

Original poster
FeatherySquawkington · 08/08/2019 09:04

I don't control what he eats and there would be no fear of it being eaten if he left it at home - he regularly keeps packets of biscuits in the cupboard to munch on in the evening and nobody touches them unless offered.

OP posts:
user159 · 08/08/2019 09:05

No idea what my husband eats at work.. couldn't really care less to be honest. I have a stash at work and at home (usually the Christmas stash!) which DH try's to find every year and fails Smile

JellyfishAndShells · 08/08/2019 09:06

How do you even know what he buys or keeps in his drawers at work ? Don’t think I have mentioned the protein bar thingy that’s in the bottom of my handbag to my DH .....

QuimReaper · 08/08/2019 09:06

I knew there had to be a legitimate irritation lurking behind this seemingly weird one Grin

So is it that he's got out of helping at all with the food shop / meal planning by feigning helplessness, and confusion at the very idea of going to a supermarket, selecting and paying for foodstuffs, but has a whole self-sufficient ecosystem going on in his desk drawer?

xoxoluna · 08/08/2019 09:06

So I guess you're bothered that he's putting effort in buying food for himself while you have to do all of the buying for everyone. Like he's not doing his share for the family. Is this what you're annoyed about??

herculepoirot2 · 08/08/2019 09:08

I can’t imagine another adult thinking they were in charge of what I ate.

AnyOldPrion · 08/08/2019 09:08

I'm more annoyed that he leaves me to do all the meal planning/shopping/cooking/packed lunch but can quite happily go out and buy food just for him

Now that is annoying! But I didn’t get that at all from your original post. So is your frustration that he is shopping for himself, but doesn’t help out enough? I guess it only takes a few moments to wander round a shop and grab the treats he wants and that is pleasurable, whereas anything else would take effort.

But if you are working too, and he isn’t pulling his weight, then the stash thing is a red herring really.

Original poster
FeatherySquawkington · 08/08/2019 09:08

wishihad I would happily buy it for him if he put it on the list but since he is choosing to go buy it as a special trip then he could take the list with him..... But he wouldn't want to do that.

OP posts:
herculepoirot2 · 08/08/2019 09:08

But I can see that if he has the energy to go to the supermarket for his snacks he can occasionally do a food shop.

MotherTime3 · 08/08/2019 09:09

My work stash is in my car boot. We all have a stash at work, and if someone is skint, Or too busy to go out, we share. It’s a lovely experience 😂 Seriously though, we’ve all benefit from it at some point.

Findthewhitehorseonthehill · 08/08/2019 09:09

Is there a reason why you have to do all the shopping and meal planning? For example does he work full time and you part time?

Sounds like it's more about you resent doing all the shopping and lunches than what he eats.

Speak to him about taking it in turns to shop and cook?

TheStuffedPenguin · 08/08/2019 09:09

OP you really need to get a life Grin

Sandybval · 08/08/2019 09:09

@FeatherySquawkington he has just been lazy, same as the 'i can't cook' men who think women are born knowing how to use an oven. Bloody annoying but I wouldn't take your annoyance out on his defenceless desk stash (deffo an essential!). Have you spoken to him about helping out more?

MyOtherProfile · 08/08/2019 09:09

Maybe he just buys them on the way to work so it's easy - immediately stored in work then. You really are worrying over nothing.

HeadintheiClouds · 08/08/2019 09:10

What’s your actual concern, op? That you can’t dip into his stash when you want to??

ChrisPrattsFace · 08/08/2019 09:11

I don’t have a work stash because my colleagues are all pigs who raid it.
I’d be a bit miffed he wasn’t just adding it to the shop and then taking it all in each week or whatever - but then we’re budgeted for shopping etc soooo

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