Cool wives

[SignedUpJust4This]

Is it me or is there some sort of competition amongst us women folk over who can be the best wife and put up with the most shit.

Whenever someone posts about their selfish and unreasonable OH someone else always responds that this is perfectly normal and all men do this so we should put up with it.

It seems to range from the marginally reasonable
'My OH works FT so he never does a night feed or changes a nappy' to 'I do EVERYTHING around the house and ALL the childcare but my OH doesn't have to lift a finger bless him because he works' right through to the mind-blowing 'I don't mind that my OH games 24-7/has nude lap dances/blows all our money on stag dos/sends sexy texts to other women/cycles 8 days a week/watches porn 2 hrs a day because he works and he needs his ME time'.

Do women like this really exist or are these men in disguise on MN sent to wind us up? Is there just a race to the bottom for what is acceptable from a decent husband?

I'm beginning to lose sight of what a normal partnership is. AIBU to be suspicious of these 'cool' wives?

This one irks me especially because I think it often makes vulnerable and abused women question whether they are expecting too much

I agree with this. But I really didn’t see this on Mumsnet.

I I’m fsct dad doormat people pleasers who tell u to turn ur other cheek and that “I kno go to absorb his anger” and all this one upping on victims and pressuring them with their own standards of a man-pleasing mesogynist wife. These are the ones I despise with passion..

But I really haven’t seen this on Mumsnet. The examples you gave are of women who are not necessarily abused.. just have different expectations of partners

Cool wives are those who are just like Myra Hindley and Rose West. They are certainly complicit in the rise of internet porn which is frankly disgusting. Apparently one of the most favourite porn watches is black cabbies raping women having sex, not forgetting of course, 'teen' sex.

placemats I thought “cool wives” were ok with their DH’s doing their hobbies, having female friends, going to the pub when they went not the like of Myra Hindley and Rose fucking West!

Jesus wept.

'Cool wives' take it up the bum and turn a blind eye when their husband watches porn whilst feeding their toddler.

Basically, cool wives are insecure even if they are the main earner in the family.

It's really funny that there is no such thing as a cool husband.

Blimey you’ve got a bee in your bonnet.

Yeah I do. Cool wives feed their entitled husbands all the entitlement they know they deserve. It's what keeps them married. And I'm in keeping with the OP.

So, there.

Oh my gosh that escalated!

What about the ones who don’t mind their husbands going away with their mates doing a hobby? The ones who don’t make a fuss because their H goes to the pub when he wants?
The ones who don’t have a heart attack because their H has female friends?

Are they cool wives or are we just talking about those who don’t mind the porn issue?

It's really funny that there is no such thing as a cool husband

Maybe that’s because blokes don’t sit in judgement of other people’s choices when they differ from their own in the way that some women on mumsnet do.

Or it’s nothing to do with keeping the husband’s happy. Sometimes there’s no ulterior ‘man pleasing’ motive to us saying we don’t have a problem with something, we just, lo and behold, have no problem with it.

I don’t know what’s so hard to accept about that, but that’s your issue not mine.

It's really funny that there is no such thing as a cool husband.

Wouldn't they be the ones unconcerned about wife having close male friends, or finding out that the wife had been google searching for "Brad Pitt naked" or "Idris Elba penis shoe pics".

Friday night freeeeedoooommmm! The big issue of course is which version is better.

I've been accused of being a 'cool wife' because I said I didn't care that my husband sometimes has coffee or dinner with female friends he's known since his university days so in all honestly I think it's misogynistic bullshit used to imply that if a woman isn't needy and paranoid, she's lying to herself to seem cool to men.

Are they cool wives or are we just talking about those who don’t mind the porn issue?

No, before this thread went down a porn and, errr, serial killers path, these things were included. Those things definitely get you a cool wifing.

Surely that’s just being a rational human being Croquembou?

I’m not ‘cool’ I just genuinely don’t really care what he’s doing. I trust him not to cheat on me, I trust him not to run off gambling/doing drugs. He’s got lots of female friends and he’s a massive flirt, but I trust him. If he cheated then that’s his call and his issue and I’ll deal with it if it happens but I’m not wasting my mental energy mothering my partner when I’ve got enough little people to mother

I also watch porn so can’t really ask him not to. Strip clubs don’t bother me either and sometimes me n my girlfriends go to drag shows where there are male strippers in the interim, so how could I ask him not to go to a strip club?

I’m also very close friends with my sons step mum 😂 and my ex himself! Maybe I am cool as fuck after all