horrible arguement last night -i am right to be angy ?

[Bravenewworld1]

last night me and DH had an argument . we were all sitting at the dinner table- me , dh and our 2 children aged 12 and 10. I had made a meal, he had gone out got a bottle of wine - not something we usually do- the wine I mean so I was really looking forward to it.
it all started really well. anyway we were talking about a film we had both seen and explaining what it was about to our daughter. I looked over and he gave me a disgusted look. I asked him if he was ok and he said ' you deliberately interrupted me like I'm invisible you always do this you are horrible and rude'. I was shocked I really didn't think that happened at all .. I thought he had stopped speaking but he must have just paused and I said something during the pause. so yes I may have inadvertently interrupted him but in no way did I deliberately do this. he has said it with real venom and I was really upset. we hadn't even started drinking so I cant blame it on that. I just starting crying . I couldn't eat I was too upset. dh got up and went upstairs. then I got really angry- I felt that the way he spoke to me was really out of order. anyway I did something bad. I followed him upstairs . he had gone into the bathroom to have a shower. now I know this is wrong of me as I wasn't respecting his privacy or right to be alone but I burst into the bathroom and started shouting that I did nothing deliberately and that he was out of order . anyway he shouted go away and pushed me out of the bathroom with such force that I fell to the floor. we have not spoken since.

Horrible isnt it pippi and its turns out the op isnt well either

Yes, the victim-blaming on this thread is staggering.

You both sound like lunatics. What were your poor children doing whilst you two were carrying on??

Why don’t you leave? All your posts are very sad. Your children will end up going NC with you if you continue living like this.

Are you staying because of your illness? Honestly this man will never take care of you if your condition deteriorates. It’s better if you leave him now when you are well enough. Sorry to be so brutal.

I feel so 50:50 about this because you should have just talked to him after his shower, he might have been calmer and more receptive, you could have had that wine and laid things on the table about both your issues. Regarding the bursting in I can't tell whether he pushed hard because he was spooked or whether he pushed maliciously

The former your marriage is salvagable...the other means you guys might have way bigger problems than annoying interuptions...

This has been the most depressing, victim-blaming thread I've seen for a long time. Reading that the OP was pushed over (even if it was accidental) and then saying she must have flung herself to the ground in a histrionic fit? Comparing her to Roxanne Pallett? Low.

OP, you know what you need to do. Womens Aid would be a good starting point but posting about individual incidents here, only for some charmers to bash you when you're already down, won't help. I hope you can find it in you to take practical action and get you and your kids out of the situation.

The DH assaulted OP. That's no ok no matter what.

The law isn't 'don't assault your partner....unless they are really annoying and out of line.' Because then we'd have a bunch of shitty men deciding in the moment what behaviour entitles them to assault their partner.

Assault is never ok or justified unless it is in defence of their person and there is no alternative way to be safe.

OP doesn't need to be a perfect wife and mother to earn the right not to be pushed to the floor in her own home. The law protects everyone.

That said, OP and her DH both exhibited harmful toxic behaviour. I feel terrible for their children growing up in that environment.

OP, please give up on this marriage. The best thing you can do for yourself and your children is to say 'enough' and end it. It's unhealthy. You don't respect each other. You're both flying off the handle. End it.

People did not go through the threads to “discredit” OP. Her past threads show this relationship has been bad for several years and this wasn’t an isolated incident. It is massively relevant. The poor OP needs to leave this vile man and be happier with her children.

If the op's previous posts show that she is in a difficult or abusive relationship then that makes the victim blaming even worse imo.

Oh for God's sake it's not hard not to lay your hands on someone/push them. You can repeatedly ask them to leave and if they won't, then leave yourself.I agree with the posters who say a lot of the responses on here are vile and I hope the OP doesn't come back to read them.

Unfortunately some people did @Schuyler - yes some people went through them for the right reasons but others used them to supposedly demonstrate OP had form for "hogging the conversation".

I agree, I hope the OP doesn't come back to read in a way, but OP if you do, please know that many of us on here can see all this for what it is and are disgusted by the way some people have treated you. I also do urge you to write another post on the relationships board where I believe you will get better advice.

Fair enough, some people did go through for the wrong reasons but I read to get an idea of the history of the relationship. This isn’t an isolated incident and he isn’t a nice man. Even if OP does hog the conversation and shout, she never deserves this. I think she’s unlikely to get very far with this particular thread but I hope she seriously considers getting out of this situation.