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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think no couple goes to bed at the same time?

462 replies

themimi · 04/08/2019 22:23

Watching a programme tonight with DH and saw another example of a couple lying in bed at night having a conversation after clearly retiring at the same time. Mentioned to DH that we never ever go to bed at the same time (I'm an early to bed early to rise person and he's the opposite). DH said that no couple does - it's just a plot device to facilitate dialogue. I think I agree and couples who go to bed at same time don't exist. Anyone out there (past honeymoon stage) who does?

OP posts:
SquigglePigs · 05/08/2019 21:07

We do more often than not but not always. Having said that we don't sleep in the same room about 70% of the time - combination of small baby, me being a light sleeper and DH snoring!! When we do go to bed at the same time and are in the same room we end up chatting for far too long!!! Usual process is going up to bed at the same time me getting settled in our room, then DH either joining me or heading off to the spare room. Before baby DH would sometimes stay up late to play computer games or watch something I wasn't interested in for an hour or so after I'd gone to bed, but now we're both too tired for that!!

ferretface · 05/08/2019 21:08

We do but we don't have DC.

EustaciaPieface · 05/08/2019 21:09

Been together more than 20 years and I always go first. I like to read for a long time, husband doesn’t. But he mostly comes to bed while I’m still awake and reading. I would like him to come earlier if I’m honest.

SweetPetrichor · 05/08/2019 21:12

We go to bed at the same time...always have apart from the odd time when I've been tired and he's been overly enthralled in some game. I like lying in bed together reading, then we put an audiobook on for 20 minutes when it's 'lights out' time.

bellinisurge · 05/08/2019 21:13

We do mostly.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 05/08/2019 21:14

I used to go to bed when DH did (early because he worked from 5am). Only because I liked lying in bed with DH reading and he was a light sleeper so it just worked better for us both. Plus I hated being downstairs alone with nobody to talk to!

teenagetantrums · 05/08/2019 21:15

If we at home we go to bed together most nights. We both work shifts do sometimes is not possible . Quite often l get up again as my sleep pattern is terrible. But is nice to relax together in peace and quite and hopefully to go to sleep together.

isthatapugunicorn · 05/08/2019 21:15

We do!

BlueSkiesLies · 05/08/2019 21:22

We don’t as DP keeps very different sleep wake schedule to me. I would like to go to bed more often together but also I quite like drifting off with an audiobook on my own.

Nanna50 · 05/08/2019 21:24

30 years and go to bed together 90% of the time. No tv, no phones, no books, usually fall asleep spooning.

Then I wake up too hot fling the duvet off and roll as far away from him as I can. 🙄

underneaththeash · 05/08/2019 21:29

No, I go up about 10.30. DH about 11.30.

loopylindasdaughter · 05/08/2019 21:31

We do, always.

onemorecakeplease · 05/08/2019 21:38

We do. Before I met dh he was always up til 12/1 and I'm an early bedder 9/9.30, so now we compromise and go about 10.30 but always together!

Oliack1417 · 05/08/2019 21:41

Yes, almost every night - DH falls asleep far quicker than I do though!

MrFartPants · 05/08/2019 21:42

Always go to bed at the same time. Stick a bit of TV on in bed and fall asleep, sometimes holding hands :)

HotChocolateLover · 05/08/2019 21:43

We always go to bed at the same time. I love having a chat (or a shag) before going to sleep.

Mydogmylife · 05/08/2019 21:45

Married 39 years and illness aside always off to bed together. Wee bit tv maybe, or a wee chat about our day, then off to sleep ( or maybe a bit of a cuddle) usually up about the same time as well unless something in particular arranged

Putyourdamnshoeson · 05/08/2019 21:46

We always do.

DaveCoachesgavemetheclap · 05/08/2019 22:01

About 50% of the time we go to bed at the same time, but we sleep in different rooms so it doesn't really make much difference!

ineedanotherholiday · 05/08/2019 22:03

We go to bed same time every night, very rarely do we go separate times. I get up first during the week for work but dh is always up first at the weekend Grin

Boxerbinky · 05/08/2019 22:25

Very rare we go to bed at different times!

Lougle · 05/08/2019 22:44

17 years married. Go to bed at about the same time. I normally take a bit longer to get off the sofa and up the stairs, but he farts about once he's upstairs, so we go to sleep at the same time.

duckme · 05/08/2019 22:47

Not if I can help it not if I plan on getting any sleep! If I'm not fast asleep before he comes to bed, I'll never nod off once he starts snoring- which is literally the very instant he lies down.

CassianAndor · 05/08/2019 22:47

We pretty much always do.

Mother40 · 05/08/2019 23:04

We dont. I can't remember the last time we went to bed at the same time and it's been a constant irritation during our relationship. I don't think I go to bed particularly early (usually about.11ish, ) but he doesn't go for several hours after that.