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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think no couple goes to bed at the same time?

462 replies

themimi · 04/08/2019 22:23

Watching a programme tonight with DH and saw another example of a couple lying in bed at night having a conversation after clearly retiring at the same time. Mentioned to DH that we never ever go to bed at the same time (I'm an early to bed early to rise person and he's the opposite). DH said that no couple does - it's just a plot device to facilitate dialogue. I think I agree and couples who go to bed at same time don't exist. Anyone out there (past honeymoon stage) who does?

OP posts:
Miltonj · 05/08/2019 17:25

Yep, together 7 years and go to bed at the same time every night... but there's nothing wrong with not doing that!

HalfManHalfLabrador · 05/08/2019 17:26

We don’t

Propertyofhood · 05/08/2019 17:27

We do, at 11pm pretty much on the dot. DH goes up then and reckons he can't get to sleep if he knows I'm going to be coming up much later, so unless I am doing something like working, if I'm not up by 11:04pm he is ringing me from upstairs!

I'm glad to be honest, I am crap at disciplining my own bedtime and whenever he is away I'm always going to bed at about 1am, even when I have to be up for work the next day. I need him to drag me upstairs!

GrapefruitGin · 05/08/2019 17:28

Yep unless I’m on lates, we go to bed at the same time, we don’t fall asleep at the same time. He generally nods off before I do, I watch Netflix on the telly or browse on my phone for a while!

CrispSandwiches19 · 05/08/2019 17:29

We do. Maximum 5 times we've ever gone separately. I hate if he's not in bed with me at night and visa versa. But in the day I'll happily nap without him there haha.

BuildBuildings · 05/08/2019 17:30

We do been together for 15 years. Do you meann go to sleep at the same time? I don't think you can control that? But we do lights out at the same time most nights.

TulipsTulipsTulips · 05/08/2019 17:35

We do

Darkbloom · 05/08/2019 17:38

We do. We normally watch TV before we go to sleep. Although it never used to be that way, I've always gone to bed early and he always used to be an night owl

FortheloveofJames · 05/08/2019 17:43

We do 99.9% of the time. We moved in together just before DS was born. When he arrived we always went to bed at the same time and it’s the pattern we’ve fallen into ever since. Even now I’m pregnant with DD and go to bed at 9 sometimes he still just comes up with him. We’ve been working opposite days since having DS to accommodate childcare, and DPs shifts finish later so we rarely get quality time together so I love to go to bed and chat and cuddle

Fishcakey · 05/08/2019 17:55

Not every night. I tend to decide to go up first and sometimes he comes with me and other times he doesn't.

Fishcakey · 05/08/2019 17:55

Not every night. I tend to decide to go up first and sometimes he comes with me and other times he doesn't.

Fishcakey · 05/08/2019 17:55

Not every night. I tend to decide to go up first and sometimes he comes with me and other times he doesn't.

Alpacathebag · 05/08/2019 18:12

We do, usually within 15 minutes of each other unless one of us is particularly tired or ill or out late. We don't talk in bed though, DH likes to read and I don't so he gets annoyed if I try to start a conversation.

LMW1990 · 05/08/2019 19:24

We do. I watch TV or sew downstairs and DP plays on his PC in the same room (opposite ends) after DC are in bed. Then about 10pm we go up to bed together, brush teeth together. DP usually watches a documentary and I half listen while reading or browsing on here. Then we turn out the lights and go to sleep together. I like our routine and I don't sleep well without DP.

LMW1990 · 05/08/2019 19:24

We do. I watch TV or sew downstairs and DP plays on his PC in the same room (opposite ends) after DC are in bed. Then about 10pm we go up to bed together, brush teeth together. DP usually watches a documentary and I half listen while reading or browsing on here. Then we turn out the lights and go to sleep together. I like our routine and I don't sleep well without DP.

Fishcakey · 05/08/2019 20:26

Not every night. I tend to decide to go up first and sometimes he comes with me and other times he doesn't.

loveyou3000 · 05/08/2019 20:28

We do, but only because I'd stay up til 4am otherwise. I feel like I have no body clock! We don't have a little goodnight chat though

mommybear1 · 05/08/2019 20:28

We do. Together 9 years married 3.

VoyageInTheDark · 05/08/2019 20:32

We do every night even though we're sleeping in separate beds at the moment (non sleeping toddler)

RidgedPerfection · 05/08/2019 20:33

We very, very rarely do (on holiday is about it). I get up at 0430 every morning so like to be in bed by 2230 ish and DH is a real night owl, coming to bed about 0100 or so, but getting up much later than me. It's a pain as I get woken when he comes to bed - light on, iPad on for a while all lit up too. If I don't manage to get back to sleep before DH falls asleep (which is rapid!) then I cannot sleep any more that night really as the snoring is so loud, even when I get up and move into the spare room. If I manage to get back to sleep before the snoring starts I sometimes manage to grab a little more sleep although am inevitably woken by it sooner rather than later!! I am constantly exhausted and it makes me miserable!!

DH is away for work pretty frequently and the difference in how I feel after unbroken sleep compared to "normal" me is unbelievable; I feel so refreshed and alive.

MrsExpo · 05/08/2019 20:35

WE do, and often quite early if there’s no nothing on TV we fancy watching. Occasionally DH will stay up later if there’s a footy match on but that’s the exception ....

CanYouHelpFindThis · 05/08/2019 20:39

We are weird because we are night carers, so different, we chill in the bedroom together from 6pm ish and take it in turns to get up and do care throughout the night for his mother

EggysMom · 05/08/2019 20:57

Nope. I'm a lark and DH is an owl. I go to bed around 10pm, DH comes to join me around 2am. DH has always taken responsibility for our autistic son after I go to bed (shouts, re-settles, putting him back in bed, nightmares) so that I get 3-4 hours of good sleep. I then handle interruptions in the second half of the night, persuading our son that it's still night at 5am or giving up and getting up with him at 6am; while DH gets his 4 hours of good sleep.

MyElbowIsItchy · 05/08/2019 20:59

Most nights we do, usually around 12ish.

jadeyfly · 05/08/2019 21:00

We tend to physically go to bed at the same time. We both read for about 30 mins, he start a snoring and I sit here like I am now scrolling mumsnet Grin