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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU or is this totally not on?

452 replies

Bellasblankexpression · 04/08/2019 17:18

Been away for the weekend as had an event to attend with DH. Let a relative stay in our flat while we were gone as they were attending a wedding in the area and it would save them hotel and massive cab costs etc.

They've stayed before so didn't think it would be a problem. Hadn't heard from them other than a text to say they'd be gone by the time we got back, which isn't unusual.

Got back to find the place is an absolute tip. It's filthy - I don't understand how so much mess has been created in such a short space of time. It looks like someone has been quite unwell in the bathroom and not bothered to clean up the erm...residue.
All the toilet paper has gone [there were five rolls when I left and two more in the cupboard].
A bottle of rum has been drunk - the empty bottle has been left on the side, no attempt to conceal it. A couple of glasses are missing, judging by some of the mess on the kitchen floor I would guess they were smashed.
Our soundbar isn't working because it looks like it's been knocked off the front of the tv unit and the lead has been damaged.
the pull cord on the light in the bathroom has been snapped.
Black marks have been trod in on the living room carpet and looks like some kind of food spillage by the sofa.

I am utterly shocked. Every other time they've stayed it's been left tidily, we don't expect it to be immaculate or anything, you know just not in chaos - relative hasn't been in contact aside from that one message, and has obviously just walked out and left it with no attempt to tidy up.

I am not being unreasonable in wanting to call them up and demanding to know wtf happened am I? I don't know whether I need to cool down a bit and think rationally before I go in all guns blazing .

Never letting anyone stay when we aren't there again. Feel like an idiot.

OP posts:
LellyMcKelly · 04/08/2019 17:20

Definitely call them up and find out what happened - and check they’re ok, particularly if it’s out of character.

7sunnysundays · 04/08/2019 17:22

Of course you should call them

DragonMamma · 04/08/2019 17:23

Bloody hell.

I would have called them the minute I saw the mess.

Cheeky twats!

ohcanada · 04/08/2019 17:24

Absolutely call them!!!! That is awful. They must have known there was obvious damage and should have done the right thing and owned up and sent you money to fix it.

Sounds like they had an after party

Bellasblankexpression · 04/08/2019 17:25

I know it sounds stupid, even hesitating but I am SO livid, I feel like I need to calm down a bit first so I can be rational.

OP posts:
AngelasAshes · 04/08/2019 17:25

Definitely call. I’d ask for £ to cover any damages too.

SummerHouse · 04/08/2019 17:26

Yes call and do let us know. I am very interested in the hangover part 5. Check the spare bedroom for a crocodile...

ScreamingValenta · 04/08/2019 17:26

Sounds like your relative had a party that got out of hand.

Arrowfanatic · 04/08/2019 17:26

I'd take pictures, send them to them and ask what the hell happened?

AllSweetnessAndLight · 04/08/2019 17:26

Wait until you calm down. Yanbu.

Summersunshine2 · 04/08/2019 17:27

I'd call while angry to be honest.

pasturesgreen · 04/08/2019 17:27

Sounds disgusting. Call them! I think in the circumstances you'd be unreasonable not to go in all guns blazing.

recrudescence · 04/08/2019 17:28

Yes, perhaps cool down a little before confronting this person. Use the time to calculate the cost of making everything good. He’s paying.

Apolloanddaphne · 04/08/2019 17:28

That is appalling. I would tear a strip off them and never let them stay in your home again.

newmomof1 · 04/08/2019 17:30

Definitely take photos. Call them and ask wtf - they need to pay for any damages. Follow up with text/email for proof in case you need it.

CalmdownJanet · 04/08/2019 17:30

Don't bother waiting to calm down!!
"What the fuck happened to my home? It's filthy!! . I am absolutely appalled that after doing you a favour you would treat my home like that and then walk out without a word. I want £x for sound bar and rum that was drank transferred immediately. How dare you! Never ever ask to stay here again, you ought to be mortified"

bettyboo40 · 04/08/2019 17:32

I would write a list, like you've done here, of everything that needs replacing/cleaning and how much you expect that to cost. They might find it would have been cheaper to stay in a hotel!

Aquamarine1029 · 04/08/2019 17:32

I would be calling them immediately, rage intact. How DARE they treat your home that way?

spam390 · 04/08/2019 17:33

Erm...........Yeah, of course you've got to phone them and ask WTF happened !
I'd be taking photos of everything to send them too !

They're trying to run away from an awkward situation by not contacting you, DO NOT LET THEM. They are supposed to be family, not airbnb guests !

I'd also have a mental note of the cost of the damage too, so if I got 'attitude' then they'd be told they'll not only never be welcome to crash at my house again, but they'll be footing the bill for the repairs/ cleaning etc too !

I may have a softer attitude if they have a good reason or are totally accepting that they need to sort it out and pay for repairs/ replacements. But only maybe.

RuggerHug · 04/08/2019 17:34

How long was there between them leaving and you getting back? I'd tell them the condition of the place and say it must have been broken into after they went. But it sounds like a wedding after party happened, which is obviously not on!

SparklyMagpie · 04/08/2019 17:35

Oh without a doubt I'd be calling them right now

Aquamarine1029 · 04/08/2019 17:36

What kind of relative is this? Cousin, uncle?

Asta19 · 04/08/2019 17:36

Well, clearly what happened is they drank the rum and all the other carnage then followed that! If it's out of character I would be confused as much as angry. However they definitely should be apologising and taking whatever steps necessary to put right the damage. It seems odd they just left without a word, it wasn't like you wouldn't notice!

dodgeballchamp · 04/08/2019 17:37

Yeah definitely phone them. That’s outrageous of them to leave it like thaf

Nearlyfriyay987654 · 04/08/2019 17:37

Deffo challenge and suggest there will be a bill?!

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