AIBU or is this totally not on?

[Bellasblankexpression]

Been away for the weekend as had an event to attend with DH. Let a relative stay in our flat while we were gone as they were attending a wedding in the area and it would save them hotel and massive cab costs etc.

They've stayed before so didn't think it would be a problem. Hadn't heard from them other than a text to say they'd be gone by the time we got back, which isn't unusual.

Got back to find the place is an absolute tip. It's filthy - I don't understand how so much mess has been created in such a short space of time. It looks like someone has been quite unwell in the bathroom and not bothered to clean up the erm...residue.
All the toilet paper has gone [there were five rolls when I left and two more in the cupboard].
A bottle of rum has been drunk - the empty bottle has been left on the side, no attempt to conceal it. A couple of glasses are missing, judging by some of the mess on the kitchen floor I would guess they were smashed.
Our soundbar isn't working because it looks like it's been knocked off the front of the tv unit and the lead has been damaged.
the pull cord on the light in the bathroom has been snapped.
Black marks have been trod in on the living room carpet and looks like some kind of food spillage by the sofa.

I am utterly shocked. Every other time they've stayed it's been left tidily, we don't expect it to be immaculate or anything, you know just not in chaos - relative hasn't been in contact aside from that one message, and has obviously just walked out and left it with no attempt to tidy up.

I am not being unreasonable in wanting to call them up and demanding to know wtf happened am I? I don't know whether I need to cool down a bit and think rationally before I go in all guns blazing .

Never letting anyone stay when we aren't there again. Feel like an idiot.

The fact that your cousin is refusing to answer your calls says to me that she KNOWS why you are calling, and doesn’t want to face up to your righteous anger, imo.

I agree with the posters who have said send her the pictures and a blunt email saying you know what she did, she knows what she did, and she will be paying for the damage!

Mess, not meds. Sorry. Autocorrect.

If your cousin won't pick up the phone they know they've done wrong.

I'd be tempted to call their parents next.

Are you FB friends? I'd post.poxtires on their FB wall and say the house is in a state and serious damage has been caused. Say you've been trying to call since you got home. Tell them they need to get in touch urgently to sort out costs of fixing everything and a deep clean.

Make sure your family can see it. Make a big public stink. Embarass them.

There are times it is okay to be angry and hit the roof. This is one of them.

Thats awful. You were nice enough to let them stay to save money and they trash the house drink your stuff leave the bottle empty and now are avoiding you. Honestly id text once more and say they need to answer or you will publicly shame them. If they dont respond id shame them on facebook. Sounds petty but what they did is a joke x

I'd post it all on my own FB wall that way your cousin cannot delete it.

Send one last text telling them that if they don't answer you will be sending all your relatives photos of the disgusting mess they left your flat in, adding that they are never to expect to stay in your flat again.

It's my cousin. We get on really well.

Not anymore.

And on facebook.

That’s why I couldn’t let people stay in my house

I would be incandescent with rage

I sent the pictures on the text.
Phone is now off.
Ffs this avoidance is just making me angrier.

That is an awful way to treat you! I would send the photos to your Aunt or Uncle and hope they shame their DC into apologising and making things right.

Had you agreed to your cousin bringing someone else? A bottle of rum downed sounds like someone else involved.

Time to bring up the big guns and call other family members asking if the cousin is ok, because they left the house a tip and that's very out of character.

She’s probably avoiding the phone because she’s mortally hungover. I reckon you’ll get a. Better result waiting until
Tomorrow

Shame them on social media ?

Absolutely disgraceful! Avoiding would make me so much more angry as well. She hasn't even had the decency to apologise and rectify the damage!

If there phone turned off after you sent the messages they’ve definitely seen them. Probably too hungover to deal with it right now. It’ll give you time to tot up how much they owe you in cleaning and repairs.

My friend has a beautiful airbnb four poster etc. the bride and her parents were staying to get ready for wedding groom joining them on the wedding night. The mess was pretty much as you described, they had an after party and there were obviously folk who had dossed down there. She had to pay for cleaners to get everything sorted in time for next guests. I wonder if your place was used as a doss house as well.

If it is your cousin, then I would contact your aunt and uncle telling them what has gone on.

Oh my I would be livid too! Sounds like an after party, hopefully your neighbor heard something and can shed some light!

So the phone is off.
Are you friends with them on Facebook?
If so I'd post the pictures with the comment 'Clearly a good weekend was had by all - just a pity I wasn't there to enjoy it and now need to clean it up! 😡'

I would be calling your aunt/uncle immediately. If they are going to act like a child, I would treat them like a child. I would be shaming the fuck out of them to anyone who will listen.

This is appalling behaviour from your cousin. Please update when she responds as I would absolutely LOVE to hear what her explanation/ justification is!

Borrow a phone to call her so she won’t recognise the number? Or, if she’s turned it off, can you call her parents or siblings to track her down?