AIBU or is this totally not on?

[Bellasblankexpression]

Been away for the weekend as had an event to attend with DH. Let a relative stay in our flat while we were gone as they were attending a wedding in the area and it would save them hotel and massive cab costs etc.

They've stayed before so didn't think it would be a problem. Hadn't heard from them other than a text to say they'd be gone by the time we got back, which isn't unusual.

Got back to find the place is an absolute tip. It's filthy - I don't understand how so much mess has been created in such a short space of time. It looks like someone has been quite unwell in the bathroom and not bothered to clean up the erm...residue.
All the toilet paper has gone [there were five rolls when I left and two more in the cupboard].
A bottle of rum has been drunk - the empty bottle has been left on the side, no attempt to conceal it. A couple of glasses are missing, judging by some of the mess on the kitchen floor I would guess they were smashed.
Our soundbar isn't working because it looks like it's been knocked off the front of the tv unit and the lead has been damaged.
the pull cord on the light in the bathroom has been snapped.
Black marks have been trod in on the living room carpet and looks like some kind of food spillage by the sofa.

I am utterly shocked. Every other time they've stayed it's been left tidily, we don't expect it to be immaculate or anything, you know just not in chaos - relative hasn't been in contact aside from that one message, and has obviously just walked out and left it with no attempt to tidy up.

I am not being unreasonable in wanting to call them up and demanding to know wtf happened am I? I don't know whether I need to cool down a bit and think rationally before I go in all guns blazing .

Never letting anyone stay when we aren't there again. Feel like an idiot.

That is awful! I hope you get hold of them OP - and get some rest.

Yep, I'd text them and say if no response by 9am tomorrow you'll be contacting aunt, uncle, sibling, friends and posting it on Facebook that this is what happened when you let X stay, X won't answer their phone and won't communicate with you so does anyone know if they are still using those numbers?

Also asking would one of them kindly contact X and say you'll be checking with your insurers and getting a police report number for the damage done, and you'll let them know - if the police don't contact them directly first, obviously....

Normally FB is a big no no.But in this case i would.Shes not answering you i would put photos up and tag her.Might save some other poor family member from going through the same thing

She lives too far away to confront face-to-face I assume?

I'd say I wanted a few hundred off them to cover the cost of damaged things and a professional deep clean. If they failed to pay then I would be done with them.

What a horrid thing to do,to leave your place like this.

Contact your aunt. Dose this cousin know your pregnant aswell. If she dose that just makes it even worse knowing she trashed a pregnant womans home. Get some rest now

Sounds like she had some kind of party. It's disgusting and if it were me I would never speak to her again.

I would be livid too, that's horrendous treatment of your good nature. I hope you manage to get some answers and I think you are right to show the evidence to your aunt seeing how your cousin doesn't have the courtesy to answer you.

Have you spoken to your neighbour yet?

Wow that is cuntish.

Id struggle to ever talk to them again.
To turn the phone off and abscond is abominable. I'm guessing they have made themselves very ill. And deservedly so.

I'd get professional cleaners in ASAP, stay in a hotel in the meantime and bill cousin for the lot.

Going against the grain but I wouldn't let other family members know. I would speak to her from a place of concern and then give her a bit of a kick up the backside about growing the fuck up. And tell her you were tempted to tell her parents but her shame should be enough to make her apologise and offer to pay for a clean and replacement of anything broken. Keep it between you but don't let her shirk her responsibility

Watching for the response she eventually gives! How awful!

Do they think they can avoid you forever?
I'd leave it for now just have a rest . Don't post on social media . I'd try tomorrow again if they still don't reply obviously they are just pathetic to leave your house a mess and not even apologise and avoid you .

Ring her parents. If she lives in their annexe they'll be able to reach her. Fuck it just send her parents the photos and say their daughters now not answering her phone to you.

I'd be raging.

Your cousin lives with her mum? Call the mum and ask her to hand the phone over

"Speak to her from a place of concern" sod that for a game of soldiers! I'd be sending photos to her parents and telling them that you're only contacting them in the hope that they will call her to their phone to explain herself and let you know how she is going to pay for the damage.

She's probably sleeping it off so not answering her phone.

Definitely contact her mum and then she’ll get a bollocking from her at least.

I would cut this cousin off. What a waste of space she sounds.

Send her a bill for the clearing up, the rum and cost of accommodation at local rates.

Does she live nearby?
Ridiculous that she won’t face up to what she’s done. Definitely don’t let it drop. Charge her for the breakages.

She should be grovelling, not hiding.

How disgusting. I can't understand why she would do it - she'll never be allowed to stay again. What an idiot.

Email invoice for clean up /replacement of stuff to your aunt obviously send photos to what a scum bucket!.

I think she's probably so hungover she can't cope /feels guilty which is why her phone is off.

Her behaviour is unacceptable.

That is appalling behaviour. Completely disrespectful to you and your home, especially when you were doing her a big favour.