Would you be pissed off if in the first day or two after getting home from having a baby, your dh goes to the gym

[Lardlizard]

? Or would it not bother you

Really surprised by the amount who'd say they wouldn't mind, I personally would have minded... I suppose the only thing that might make it acceptable is if you have family support and he knows someone's about to help you if you are in pain etc
If a friend told me this I'd think her DH was a bit of a knob

Cliches are cliches for a reason. Your mum knows her way round a baby, chances are a new father will never have even held one before.

She would have had different reactions though. It was years ago, I imagine she would have been handed a grip or 5.

Anyway doesn’t look like she’s that bothered she’s not been back at all.

Your mum knows her way round a baby, chances are a new father will never have even held one before.

Advice changes (especially since the 70s) and people forget. Parents also make mistakes that their children might not want to repeat....

I imagine she would have been handed a grip or 5.

See, that's how sympathetic you are...

Advice may change, babies haven’t changed for millennia.

I am sympathetic when it’s needed yes.
I don’t think anyone needs sympathy because her husband went to the gym when their baby was tiny at least 5 years ago.

don’t think anyone needs sympathy because her husband went to the gym when their baby was tiny at least 5 years ago.

They do if this is symptomatic of long standing problems they are only just waking up to.

He went to the gym. Put it into perspective.

You put it into perspective. Lots of women reading this will have abusive partners and / or suffer from PND.

Posters should think about a wider audience than just the OP when they post on this sort of subject matter IMO.

No paternity leave when I had mine. He went to work from 8am to 4.30pm

Same here. He took the morning off to bring us home, made me a sandwich and a cup of tea and then went back to work.

And lots won’t. The OP mentioned absolutely nothing for people to go off, just a random question.

People answer the question relevant to their circumstances, what else do expect them to do?

There's no right or wrong to this. It depends entirely how you feel, and the way your relationship works. You need to tell your DH how you feel and what you need.

I don't know why PP are complaining about the OP. they didn't say or imply that they had a new born right now. What difference does it make if it was now, last year or ten years ago? I assume that they are looking back now and thinking it was shitty behaviour and wanted to get other people's opinions.

My dh was very supportive during paternity leave. I've always seen paternity leave as a time to support your partner, bond with your baby and either adjust to being a father or look after existing children so putting your own wishes first instead seems very selfish to me. But then my views are probably at least slightly affected by the period when my dh was into bodybuilding in a very obsessive way, when his workouts, meals etc totally came first, which really upset and pissed me off.

I would not have been happy, stitched from front to back, baby not feeding well, excruciating nipple pain. Yes dear swan off to the fucking gym, it's been so bloody traumatic for you. Also why on earth wouldn't a new dad wasn't to spend every moment he could with his new baby before he had to go back to work? It's not like paternity leave is generous. Supermarket run/pharmacy/food, yes because that's for the good of everyone, gym. No.

I’m not complaining about the OP, I pointed out to someone congratulating her that she didn’t have a newborn.

I don’t think it would bother me much. My DH couldn’t realistically do much to help when my nipples were open wounds and seeing me like that would have upset him. I think I’d be happy he’d been able to work off some of the stress and worry.

All I’d ask is that he check it was OK with me at the time.

I think it depends on what's going on
I found my first really hard but on my second I was fine
Also if they are helping out in other ways then I wouldn't see a problem

Why are you posting about this? Your previous thread was moaning about your DH's gym hobby and your youngest is 5.

Wouldn't have bothered me in the slightest, my youngest was born at 3.15 on a Sunday and we were home by 9.30 that night. DH was in work the next morning by 7am and I was at the shops by 9am buying more sleep suits as he was 3 weeks early and a little smaller than I'd anticipated

You know for me it's not even about help, it's not like I couldn't have survived for a couple of hours without DH, he just chose to prioritise his wife and brand new baby over popping out for a hobby. He wanted to be with us, was gutted when he had to go back to work after paternity leave and that's the kind of husband I chose, so if he suddenly decided 48 hours after our baby was born to go to the gym it would've been completely out of character.

No way in heck. His job is to take care of you 24/7 so you can take care of a newborn and recover simultaneously. At least for the first couple of weeks he should always be present. For the rest of the 4th trimester leaving should be for necessities like work and groceries.

At least for the first couple of weeks he should always be present. For the rest of the 4th trimester leaving should be for necessities like work and groceries.

Wtf??? Is he allowed to the post office? Always be present Jesus Christ my husband must have been such a let down going back to work to pay for the roof above our head 🙄🙄

Purpleartichoke I cannot decide if you’re teasing or being serious?
It’s a baby. Why does it need two of you there staring at it? Does he have to follow you to work if you decide on returning two weeks post partum? Does he have to follow you to babygym or toddler group too? What about his work?