Answering the door

[MolyHolyGuacamole]

Just read a post in a Facebook group that’s got me thinking. Man posted that he lives with 5 other people who were all at home, and he missed a delivery while he was in the shower. When he asked his roommates if no one heard the doorbell, they all responded that they did but as they weren’t expecting anyone, no one answered the door. He was upset and asked the group if he was wrong for expecting at least one person to answer.

I have to say a lot of the responses shocked me. Loads of people gave answers ranging from they only answer the door if they are expecting someone, to never answering the door!

One person commented that it must be an American thing (mostly Americans in the group) as they didn’t think it was commonplace at all in the UK. And I have to say I agree!

So I’m wondering now what you all do? Is it cultural? I live in London and have never thought twice about answering the door, as I usually expect it to be mail, signed for or parcel etc that can’t fit through the letter box. Sometimes I expect deliveries, but to be honest many times I order a few things and actually forget about them until they arrive! And of course there are letters that require a signature that are unexpected.

I also work in a private home, the owners get parcels delivered all the time, I can’t imagine not answering the door!

So AIBU to think that it’s the norm to not answer unless you are expecting the caller?

Rather AIBU thinking that it's not the norm

I always answer the door - I did when I lived in London too. Usually it’s a delivery or meter reader. Occasionally a Jehovahs Witness or somebody selling something.
I am surprised a house full of adults and not one answered the door.

I'd look out the window and see who it is.... If I lived with other people I'd ask who the parcel was for and tell that person... Especially if there's a valid reason for me not answering the door🤷🏼‍♀️

I never answer the door

@heidbuttsupper how do you get parcels? Genuinely curious

i always do, what if it’s something important? And if it is a chugger type I just politely tell them I’m not interested.

@MolyHolyGuacamole if I know someone is visiting or I'm expecting a delivery I will answer but otherwise, nope

I usually answer the door, it is often a parcel or flowers for a neighbour and I seem to be on the courier lists as a drop off, I don't mind and will take them in except for one.

However, for the last week I have been plagued with students trying to sign me up for charity stuff even though there is a sign on the door, so I now look through the peephole and ignore the bell if it isn't a delivery.

I always answer. Wouldn't answer banging at 2am obvs.

I live in the US and have an intercom on security gates, so nobody can actually get to the door without being let through the gate by someone in the house.
There is a camera too, which has emergency vehicle recognition software, so apparently it would automatically open the gates for fire, police, ambulance. Never tested it though .

But no, I've lived all over the world and have always had this set up. Nobody sets foot on our property, let alone gets as far as the door, without being let in. I like it that way as I'm an antisocial fucker

My job involves cold calling to people's homes and I come across a lot of houses where someone is definitely in but they don't answer the door.
It's a real thing. I can understand why people do it. It can be annoying if you're being disturbed a lot by random sales people etc, plus for some it's a security issue.
Thank goodness I'm starting a new job next week.

I think it's really strange that people won't answer the door. I've only heard of this on Mumsnet.

Always answer the door, seems odd not to I guess. Something I’ve never thought about, if I hear a knock I answer just like I e never thought about responding if people say hello

I got a front door with a spy hole so I don't end up answering the door to proselytisers or strange men selling fish out of their van. Before we got this door I didn't answer unless I was expecting something/someone, but it did result in missed deliveries!

I think it might vary by generation. I'm sure that my parents and grandparents were more likely to open the door to strangers than I have ever been.

I don't want to open the door to just anyone, out of concern for my personal safety/property. I don't have near neighbors to hear me scream, and there's no good reason for strangers to just turn up at my door without warning. I take a surreptitious look out a window, and if I don't either recognize the person or the vehicle (delivery company, for instance), I probably won't answer. (I can't remember the last time it's happened, honestly...)

However, there is the dilemma that, according to one theory, you should make sure potential burglars know someone's home, so they are more likely to leave. I tell myself that the barking dogs should be enough of a deterrent, as far as that goes.

I know some Mumsnetters think it's pathetic for an adult to not answer the door each and every time, but while it's statistically unlikely for anything untoward to happen, I'd rather be safe than sorry!

I've never considered NOT answering. Weird.

I've perfected my response to cold callers though: super cheery smile and jolly but firm 'No thank you!' while closing the door before they get into their spiel.

strange men selling fish out of their van.

😂😂😂 Whaaat. At best I got pillows offered. Fish seems more exciting

I answer the door always. I had never encountered people who don’t until Mumsnet where you never answer the door to anyone unless they’ve given you written warning.

Only answer if I am expecting a caller generally.

I used to be less antisocial but age, experience and my own poor health have made me much less accommodating.

Especially where I live now, buzzer entry flats and the first Christmas, without even meeting me or saying hello, neighbours realised I was mostly home and started treating me like a sodding concierge/sorting office

Fuck that for a game of soldiers (and yes I did say REPEATEDLY - polite and friendly at first then more assertively NOT to do this - made no difference so I now plain refuse and if I get delivery people coming trying to offload on me stuff that isn't mine I tell them through closed door it ain't happening!)

I don't answer the door unless I know who it is. I have a peep hole and have a quick look if someone knocks - if I don't know them or I don't want to be disturbed I just don't answer.

I'm from the older generation - and yes we used to answer the door AND answer the phone to complete strangers . I hated it ! You'd answer and then you'd be stuck with someone you didn't want to talk to. I love it now - I only answer my phone if I know who it is, and the same with the front door. It's perfect .

I just don't understand not answering your own front door. It's bizarre.

I ALWAYS answer the door. To the point where, I have been known to (gently) fling aside my breastfeeding/sleeping baby and I’ve answered the door in my pyjamas/a towel/pants. I seem to have a weird anxiety about not answering it. Same with phone calls. Despite the fact they are 90% sales/PPI, I can’t not answer! Seems rude.

Buzzer entry flats. None of my neighbours answer the intercom, and the postboxes are in the hall. Therefore we don't get any post despite the fact they're home all day
There is only me that lets the postman in so given I work FT, we get post once a week on a Saturday. Brilliant(!)

Adults open the fecking door . Why wouldn’t you?

I think the posters who think not answering is weird are fortunate not to have situations or circumstances which make safety and security measures sensible.