Answering the door

[MolyHolyGuacamole]

Just read a post in a Facebook group that’s got me thinking. Man posted that he lives with 5 other people who were all at home, and he missed a delivery while he was in the shower. When he asked his roommates if no one heard the doorbell, they all responded that they did but as they weren’t expecting anyone, no one answered the door. He was upset and asked the group if he was wrong for expecting at least one person to answer.

I have to say a lot of the responses shocked me. Loads of people gave answers ranging from they only answer the door if they are expecting someone, to never answering the door!

One person commented that it must be an American thing (mostly Americans in the group) as they didn’t think it was commonplace at all in the UK. And I have to say I agree!

So I’m wondering now what you all do? Is it cultural? I live in London and have never thought twice about answering the door, as I usually expect it to be mail, signed for or parcel etc that can’t fit through the letter box. Sometimes I expect deliveries, but to be honest many times I order a few things and actually forget about them until they arrive! And of course there are letters that require a signature that are unexpected.

I also work in a private home, the owners get parcels delivered all the time, I can’t imagine not answering the door!

So AIBU to think that it’s the norm to not answer unless you are expecting the caller?

@OopsUpsideYourBed I have a ready response too!

'Sorry, the kids are in the bath!' Regardless of the time of day or the fact that I don't have kids 😂

@GrungeBetty I'm a bit like you I think! Even if I don't recognise the phone number I can't help but not answer! If it's PPI or my tenth accident for the year, I just hang up and block

If someone knocks then I would always go to the door - it’s partially glass so whether I answer it or not depends on who it is. Obviously this system only works for people who are pleased to see their friends even if said friend hasn’t put a request to visit in writing three weeks ahead of their visit.

I do in the day or if I’m expecting a delivery. Dh doesn’t answer the door or his bloody phone.

@TheFridgeRaider it's gone on for years in my area! They tell you they've got a load of fish in their van that they need to get rid of so it's cheap, and they're quite pushy. I may be missing out on a bargain, but door-to-door fishmongery just doesn't sit right with me for some reason

What safety and security reasons would prevent you answering the door in your own home? Are you on the run?

I hate answering the door and will ignore it unless I'm expecting someone.

Until I joined MN I had never come across people who actively ignore their door, it’s very odd and there been some very odd threads on it.

I think this might be more of an anti-social-living-in-shared-housing thing where you tend to have one or two lazy types who take the piss so, eventually, everyone stops pulling their weight because they're sick of carrying the freeloaders.

I live in the US now and it's not common amoung people I know, but I lived in London and trying to get hold of anyone in the shared house next door to us was a nightmare. they just didn't bother answering the door most of the time even though you could hear that people were in.

Until I joined MN I had never come across people who actively ignore their door, it’s very odd and there been some very odd threads on it.

This ^

The whole 'not answering your door' thing does come up on here quite often, and it stiill amazes me that there are adults who behave in such abnormal ways. I love that I learn about different traditions and lifestyles on here, but not opening your own front door is just odd, IMO.

Apparently youngsters don't knock on doors or ring doorbells. They text to say they've arrived. So only strangers would knock.

What safety and security reasons would prevent you answering the door in your own home? Are you on the run?

Yes, I'm on the run after holding up multiple liquor stores. The fuz(z?) are hot on my tail

Our house is three miles from our nearest neighbours down a dead end dirt road, our house is the only house on the road. I drive into town to collect the post and parcels and they aren't delivered here. We have horses and a lot of valuable machinery around the yard.
My DH is military, and whilst his current post isn't vastly dangerous he has held posts in the past which were.
All of our friends are in similar situations, unless they live in military housing. There is no reason for anyone to be at our gates unless we know about it previously. I don't want people poking around our yard or stables while I may be out or off riding.

Or worse yet, drifters rocking up while I'm actually at home with the DC.

@ALittleBitAlexis 😂😀 I want to see it. Correction. I neeeed to see it.

Re not answering strange numbers. What if it's an emergency? I had an ill parent and family abroad so numbers sometimes pop up as hidden and I would never forgive myself missing THAT important call. If it's the lovely "Helloooo. We heard you had an accident" just hang up🤷

I live in London and I rarely answer the door unless I'm expecting something/someone. I never answer the door in the evening. But I live in a gated development so it's quite security conscious and visitors (and even delivery men) will usually call my mobile rather than trying to work out how to use the intercom system.

I used to answer my door when I lived in Hong Kong. It was nearly always a salesman trying to convince me to upgrade my broadband, TV package etc. It got very tiresome.

I don't open the door unless I'm expecting a person or a parcel. I find it strange people are compelled to open the door. It's my home at the end of the day and I'll decide if I open the door or not. I don't answer my phone to an unknown number either for the same reason, it's my time that's being intruded on and I'll decide whether I want that intrusion or not.

Ah, I see, Dinosaurs. I’d probably be the same in your situation, my perspective is a big city living cheek by jowl (too close for comfort, tbh) with the neighbours.

Always answer my door. I think it's strange not to. Unless there are good reasons, abusive ex, MH so on.

Never answer the door unless I'm expecting someone, and visitors know me well enough not that they text before they leave so I know to expect them. The reason I don't answer the door is we get a lot of cold callers and When home from work I'm normally in my pyjamas with no bra and I don't like answering the door like that. If anyone needs me they can call my phone first.

I work from home a lot. I'll answer the door (and take parcels for neighbours) if it's when I'm taking a break/not on a call. Otherwise I am concentrating, if not actually speaking to a client via Skype etc, and it would be really unprofessional. So to the person at the door, it probably looks like I'm someone who's in but pretending not to be

I seem to have a weird anxiety about not answering it. Same with phone calls. Despite the fact they are 90% sales/PPI, I can’t not answer! Seems rude.

I used to be like this but if you think about it knocking someone's door or ringing someone's phone is rude. It's like, listen to meeee! Talk to meeee! I'm more important than your time.

I’ve only ever heard of people not answering the door on Mumsnet. It is an alien concept to me.

Dear this ol' chestnut 'Must be an American thing'. You've not been around MN much! People on MN, most of whom in the UK, are legend for not answering their doors.

I’ve only ever heard of this on Mumsnet tbh. I’d always open the door.

Yeah, it does make things a bit trickier Head, plus I know that if I need to call for help I'm going to have to manage on my own until help arrives, so easier to just be cautious and avoid situations in the first place