Answering the door

[MolyHolyGuacamole]

Just read a post in a Facebook group that’s got me thinking. Man posted that he lives with 5 other people who were all at home, and he missed a delivery while he was in the shower. When he asked his roommates if no one heard the doorbell, they all responded that they did but as they weren’t expecting anyone, no one answered the door. He was upset and asked the group if he was wrong for expecting at least one person to answer.

I have to say a lot of the responses shocked me. Loads of people gave answers ranging from they only answer the door if they are expecting someone, to never answering the door!

One person commented that it must be an American thing (mostly Americans in the group) as they didn’t think it was commonplace at all in the UK. And I have to say I agree!

So I’m wondering now what you all do? Is it cultural? I live in London and have never thought twice about answering the door, as I usually expect it to be mail, signed for or parcel etc that can’t fit through the letter box. Sometimes I expect deliveries, but to be honest many times I order a few things and actually forget about them until they arrive! And of course there are letters that require a signature that are unexpected.

I also work in a private home, the owners get parcels delivered all the time, I can’t imagine not answering the door!

So AIBU to think that it’s the norm to not answer unless you are expecting the caller?

In London I’d say it’s pretty normal to ignore the doorbell unless you’re expecting someone

I was at a friend’s for dinner on one of the heatwave days. The doorbell rang three times after 8pm just with nonsense stuff.

My mum has new neighbours who don’t have a doorbell. That’s in a house. They are lovely, on the local WhatsApp etc and have already offered mum help with bins (she’s 80). I totally get why they don’t have a doorbell, mum thinks it’s odd though!

I only occasionally answer the door unless I am actually expecting a delivery or a visitor as I have two weirdly pushy neighbours and an address that is some kind of hotspot for cold callers and electric meter readers. I also don’t answer my mobile if I don’t recognise the number 😆.

I would answer the door

@Cosentyx as I'm learning 😂 I don't personally know anyone who refuses to answer the door so I thought I'd put it to the mumsnet jury. Still find it bizarre. 90% of anyone ringing my bell is to deliver a package, I don't know where all these strangers are popping up from.

To those saying they only answer if they're expecting a parcel, not all deliveries are expected though. Some important letters require a signature, and you don't know they're coming!

I guess I just HATE the delivery office more than I hate answering the door

I’m very wary about answering the door if I’m not expecting anyone. Unfortunately the door has a glass section and if I go anywhere near it the person can see me. So I tend to peer out the window and wait for them to give up and walk away, then when they emerge from under the porch I can see who it is and chase after them if I want to. Sometimes I do open the door a tiny crack and say Yes? in a very suspicious voice so they know I’m not going to be suckered into whatever scam they’re trying to pull.

I always answer my door now. As a student however one house i lived in was on a very rough street two doors down from a drug den...we never answered the door unless we knew someone was coming and at night even if we knew you were coming you needed to ring to let us know it was you knocking. All you people shocked at people that dont answer the door have obviously been lucky enough to have never had a raging smackhead at your door trying to get in not realising they were at the wrong house!!!

I generally don't answer the door unless I am expecting someone or a delivery. Having said that I will peek out the window to see who it is as they are leaving and I do live on my own and have to go down 2 flights of stairs as there is no intercom. If I lived with others I would answer the door but if I was him I would have said before going for a shower can somebody answer the door if it goes as I'm expecting a delivery. I do this if my daughter is home visiting as she generally wouldn't answer (especially at night, although a lot in day as well).

Never heard of anyone not answering a door till I came on here. Weird.

I'm reasonably rural, about half a mile out of the village. In the winter, people regularly end up in the ditch and we have very patchy mobile signal so they arrive at my door. What I found interesting was that, when I had a porch built last year, I found it unsettling when they accidentally gave me opaque glass in the new door so I couldn't see who was at the gate. I often get lost people too, looking for houses or farms.

If I'm at home, the doors are open all day for ease of coming and going. I often open them when it's light and go back to bed. I work on the principle that the dogs bark before people get within three metres of the gate on the road and no one's terribly keen on braving six large noisy dogs in a front garden. 😁

If it's someone I'm expecting like a delivery person, or a person I know, I answer the door. If it's a complete unidentifiable stranger, I will speak to them through the door and tell them to bugger off if they are dodgy or I'm not interested in whatever they're trying to sell/promote, whatever.

Urgh this dives me mad as I find often delivery drivers don't even try during the day! I was working from home last Friday and apparently my husbands passport was an attempted delivery at 1.15 - I was here!! And again today they couldn't re-deliver to an office address address in London yet when he called ten minutes later his passport was in Northampton!! Answer the door people!!

I think the shock about not answering is if people are in sfae-ish area.
I don't think anyone would be shocked that someone living next to drug den, or in dangerous are doesn't open the door.

I don't open the door unless I'm expecting a person or a parcel. I don't answer my phone to an unknown number either.

This is me, too.

@MollysMummy2010 DX delivery?

I've started talking to the person through the nearest open window instead, and then going to the door if it's a parcel.

If an important letter comes, it will go to the depot

I always think the people who are surprised at those of us who don’t answer the door must be living in much nicer areas!

I think it's really strange that people won't answer the door. I've only heard of this on Mumsnet

Me too,I find it utterly bizarre. What if it's a friend? Or someone has sent you flowers? Delivery person asking you to take a neighbour's parcel? Meter reader?

What if it's a friend? Or someone has sent you flowers? Delivery person asking you to take a neighbour's parcel? Meter reader?
I don’t have any friends who’d turn up unexpectedly. Even DH doesn’t send me flowers. Neighbour’s parcel isn’t my problem. Meter reader can get lost because I have a smart meter. There is literally no reason for anyone to knock on my door unless I’ve arranged for them to come. Except in very rare circumstances eg if it’s the police or something.

Loaf, a friend will let me know she’s coming.

If it’s flowers most people would send them to work

I wouldn’t want to take neighbours parcels. When I first moved here, I had 2 jobs and the guy opposite had 3! I don’t know when he slept. Also - parcel - drugs?

Meters are outside. Even if they weren’t, they could come back.

I had jehovah witnesses at 8am on a Saturday once. I had got in about 2. I gave them a right earful. But that was the last time I bothered answering the door to anyone I wasn’t expecting.

I'm an introvert who works from home a lot and I still answer the door 99% of the time.

Mostly its going to be parcels for me, parcels for neighbours, neighbours wanting to chat or ask something, with an occasional smattering of Jehovahs Witnesses and meter readers.

I haven’t had a letter I’ve had to sign for in years. Parcels can be left in the porch. It’s honestly not been a problem!

@theFridgeRaider

Oh Yes!! Bastards!! I was here all day on Friday and my husband works for a multinational in London but they couldn't get in today!! Don't know how the other 500 staff managed - perhaps they climbed in an open loo window? But at least he has a magic passport as it was back in Northampton ten minutes after attempted delivery so it may get back here tomorrow......has a business trip on Monday.....

@MollysMummy2010 get ready then. We had to file police report, re apply for everything again and didn't even get a fucking "sorry".

I don't understand how they haven't lost a bloody gov contract yet!

One person commented that it must be an American thing (mostly Americans in the group) as they didn’t think it was commonplace at all in the UK. And I have to say I agree!

It's not an American thing. The only possible exception I can think of is living in an apartment building with no doorman where people have to be buzzed in at the entrance. Sometimes you'll get a chancer who rings every bell on the panel, hoping someone is expecting a visitor who will push the button in their flat to release the door lock.

I've always answered the door and I've never had someone in a house or townhouse who just ignored me if I knocked. I live in a semi rural area. If someone rings the doorbell it might be because they're lost or their car has broken down. Of course I'll answer the door.