People who disappear and you wonder what happened to them...

[BobbolinaTheBitchyBrat]

Anyone else have one of these?

About ten years ago, when I had my first, there were a lot more parenting forums, as opposed to just mumsnet and Facebook groups. I was on one which was quite attachment/natural parenting focused, and there was this one lady who was a bit of a guru to the rest of us. She had a gang of kids, homeschooled, ran a quite well read blog, and they were always off wild camping and that sort of thing. Very hippy/alternative. The forum had group meets, so we did in fact meet up as part of a group quite a few times, and she knitted my eldest a really lovely hat.

Then she disappeared. Posts wiped. Blog gone. Everyone deleted. Nobody knew what had happened. A year or two later there was a rumour her husband had left her, which was shocking as she'd often written about their marriage, all really positive stuff.

I've often googled and searched to see if there's any sign of her online, but there's absolutely nothing. Zilch. Like she never existed. Yet she was all over the online parenting circle at one point, she blogged nearly every day.

Not sure what I'm getting at... Just that it's strange really, how people can just drop out of view, even these days!

I used to like Hollyoaks as a teenager and I was a regular poster in their old forums that was run by the production company and not C4 message boards, when the forum was transferred to C4 control quite a few of us went over to a private forum and unlike many off shoot forums that shrivelled up and died, this one was very active.

I wonder what happened to the majority of the posters, in the end I left as the forum seemed to implode and there was a lot of bitching going on and I just couldn’t be bothered with it anymore but at one point it was a great support with a bunch of characters from different backgrounds. We had these two posters who competed with each other as to whose family was better off and who was higher class.

@JacquesHammer possibly, give me a clue, ha.

I'd love to "disappear" tbh. I get very tired of the judgment of my life and the choices I have made in it. I'd love to delete everything, move and leave it all behind. Wouldn't be fair on my children though. They have loving extended family on their Dad's side who they need and have good relationships with.

I can certainly see why people do it though.

With reference to recent news items, I suggest they may have been eaten by seagulls.

... or, they did a Reggie Perrin (showing my age).

There was a poster called ghost with a lot of children in a council house I believe with money troubles. Ghost her name was might have just missed her posts but I do wonder what happened to her. She often got a hard/honest time depending on your view on her posts

Yes it's weird and then sometimes you find out years later

The most poignant conversation I've seen along these lines was on facebook - I'm facebook friends with one of the kids who survived Aberfan, but her parents then moved away in the months afterwards - they felt guilty at their child surviving - she posted something on the 30th anniversary and another survivor commented that when she (my friend) stopped turning up to school then she (the poster) assumed she was dead because thats why kids stopped coming to school - they must have been about 6 at the time - I can't imagine my kids (or me at that age) considering thats the reason they dont see someone anymore

With regards to the old Handbag forum, I wasn't involved with that but I did join the spin-off forum which has now evolved into a private facebook group of 200 or so of us. It really helped me back in 2007/8 when I was pregnant with my eldest, and the facebook group is still helpful now as he is approaching teenage years.

@InTheHeatOfLisbon thanks for posting about OddSocks - I still think about her. Please tell her a random internet stranger wishes her well (she won't know my username).

@CaptainMarvelDanvers I wonder if we were on the same one, although maybe not, the HO forum I was on was about one particular couple for the most part, the sunset ending duo. We had a forumite death on that which I always had (perhaps unfairly) my suspicions about.

@InvisibleHamster

It was the main forum for HO before Phil Redmond sold his production company in 2005 then the Channel 4 one was the one in existence. If I say Clay Pigeon Shooting perhaps users of the old forum might get the reference.

The private forum had the initials JF and to be honest hardly anyone spoke about Hollyoaks. It was a close knit group but then just the implosion happened.

I would assume anyone who has been a victim of abuse, controlling behaviour or such may want to delete their entire SM history.

Horrible when this happens but you have to throw out the wheat with the chaff and lose all those who would have reached out and supported you.

People have reasons to disappear and may not be dead but may need to not be easily traceable.

I often wonder about a poster who used to own an independent book shop and she had a baby daughter & I think a messy break up. I always used to imagine her shop as a book retreat where I'd love to go

I remember a poster who had a very sad story but I lost track of her user name.
She was really suffering through the loss of her daughter through a sudden illness I think, small child. I seem to remember she had older boys, then just after her daughter died another baby, then I think her and her husband parted and she moved away. I often think of her - she had been through such a lot - it was heartbreaking, I do hope she is doing ok.

@IceIceCoffee Ghostspirit I wonder about her too

I've often wondered about some of the ladies from Babycentre as a lot didn't join Facebook. We do have a secret group on there. There was one who was in labour at the same time as me and I often wonder about her.

In real life a colleague disappeared. She'd had an arranged marriage and her husband's family had failed to disclose that he was a lazy scrounger with a severe gambling problem. She used to get so upset. She had admitted that she got her wages paid into a secret bank account and she would take cash on out pay day for a minimum amount saving the rest.

One day the head appeared to tell us she had received an email saying she was leaving with immediate effect. When she tried to reply the email address had been closed down. A few hours later, the husband phoned then turned up looking for her! I'm really hoping she's very happy and living life to the full now with a lovely family around her x

I always wonder about two bloggers Heather of Rrandom thoughts of delusional mom and Allie Brosh from Hyperbole and half. I loved their blogs. Especially Allie. I miss them.

In real life I have lost touch with many friends. One of my best friend just got lost from the face of earth. She was having a hard time after her mum's death and then problems with her family. She left her house all of a sudden. I only came to know about it when her family contacted me if she was with me. It was a surprise as I spoke to her only a few days earlier. I am still worried about her as she was very vulnerable and feel guilty that I didn't keep checking on her at that time as I was myself going through a few things in my family at that time.

A friend I got close to when we worked together in our teens. It was the 90's so no social media. When she moved back to her hometown we used to write and it just stopped. She's got an unusual name but there is no trace if her anywhere. Every now and again I search for her but never find her.

Also a woman who posted a home education blog she had a lovely looking home and lifestyle and then one day she posted that her eldest dd had stopped contact with her and then she just stopped posting anything I often wonder what happened to her.

I was active on a wedding forum ten years ago and then a private forum popped up from it and was quite active there, but it slowly felt like it was imploding. There was a massive issue with a really prolific troll and lots of people seemed to disappear after that. I still think about some of the posters sometimes, particularly a few who lost their babies. I did notice one of the people from the forum pop up on here last week, they still have the same username.

Also when I was in first year at uni, one girl suddenly disappeared overnight. She was doing some group work with me and a friend and she just didn’t turn up one day and we never saw her again, I often wonder where she went.

ableDesk

I often wonder about a poster who used to own an independent book shop and she had a baby daughter & I think a messy break up"
Oh yes, what was her name? I used to like her

@MarieFromStTropez sounds like the same time as me, I got married in October 2008. I was rosiecotton on Handbag, though wasn’t in the “in crowd”!

It really shocked me how they ran Handbag into the ground. It was a huge thriving forum. It was all poor management and arrogance.

There was a poster last year when I first got into MN called unimaginative username. She started off wanting to leave her abusive partner with their child together and hers from a previous relationship. Last I read she was moving into her own property with both, in a good location. I often think about her and hope they're all happy in their new home.

I remember a poster on here who was going through a lot of trauma in terms of her young son being possibly sexually abused by his father during contact weekends. At one stage people were trying to raise money for her legal costs. I often wonder about her and hope things worked out

I often think of this poster too, the ex had the social worker wrapped around his finger didn't he? Really hope she and her son are doing ok now.

I wonder what happened to Ben and Birdy, guess they are teenagers now... used to giggle at their mum's blog when my oldest was a toddler.