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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People who disappear and you wonder what happened to them...

212 replies

BobbolinaTheBitchyBrat · 01/08/2019 14:02

Anyone else have one of these?

About ten years ago, when I had my first, there were a lot more parenting forums, as opposed to just mumsnet and Facebook groups. I was on one which was quite attachment/natural parenting focused, and there was this one lady who was a bit of a guru to the rest of us. She had a gang of kids, homeschooled, ran a quite well read blog, and they were always off wild camping and that sort of thing. Very hippy/alternative. The forum had group meets, so we did in fact meet up as part of a group quite a few times, and she knitted my eldest a really lovely hat.

Then she disappeared. Posts wiped. Blog gone. Everyone deleted. Nobody knew what had happened. A year or two later there was a rumour her husband had left her, which was shocking as she'd often written about their marriage, all really positive stuff.

I've often googled and searched to see if there's any sign of her online, but there's absolutely nothing. Zilch. Like she never existed. Yet she was all over the online parenting circle at one point, she blogged nearly every day.

Not sure what I'm getting at... Just that it's strange really, how people can just drop out of view, even these days!

OP posts:
MinecraftMother · 01/08/2019 22:50

Still, just the saddest.

It's all sad. The abuse, the outing, the doxxing.

wheresmymojo · 01/08/2019 22:56

I haven't been on here that long compared to some, about 3 years. I definitely miss both ESD and CTK, they were both great personalities Sad

stucknoue · 01/08/2019 22:58

People have their world blown apart, it's happened to me, very hard to admit especially if you have a "brand" to uphold. I suspect she had to put the kids in school and get a full time job in this case

Nomorechickens · 01/08/2019 23:00

I know a couple of people in RL who have no social media or online search presence, don't use their names in their email addresses, sign up for things with their initials or fake names - I am curious as to whether they have dark secrets to hide or whether it's just a distrust of big media companies (but don't like to ask)

BruceyForsyth · 01/08/2019 23:09

Still, just the saddest

It's all sad. The abuse, the outing, the doxxing

Agreed Sad

ChocChocButtons · 01/08/2019 23:16

I disappeared on a plane. So I am a nanny and they used to play first class and I would sit in world traveler plus. About 90 mins before landing I went to the loo and came back to my seat and chatted a bit to the lady next to me. She went to the loo and the first class attendant came and asked me to sit in first class for landing so I could get off with my work family etc. So I always wonder what that lady though when she returned and I was gone. 🤷🏼‍♀️

InTheHeatofLisbon · 01/08/2019 23:16

@JammyMe I know oddsockshighheels in RL. She's doing grand, really good.

BruceyForsyth · 01/08/2019 23:17

*Nomorechickens

I know a couple of people in RL who have no social media or online search presence, don't use their names in their email addresses, sign up for things with their initials or fake names - I am curious as to whether they have dark secrets to hide or whether it's just a distrust of big media companies (but don't like to ask)

It’s often those most involved with doxxing I think.

BruceyForsyth · 01/08/2019 23:17

I never thought oddsocks was a troll, I had PMs with her, a lovely person, just needed a bit of help.

wheresmymojo · 01/08/2019 23:18

What is doxxing?

stayathomer · 01/08/2019 23:28

Chocchoc That's mad!!

BruceyForsyth · 01/08/2019 23:32

Doxxing is when people stalk others online, Instagram accounts, FB groups etc and post hints as to who someone is in real life or names them either in public or PMs.
It’s a horrible hobby for some social inadequates.

MarieFromStTropez · 02/08/2019 00:13

@FenellaVelour I used to love the wedding section! I wasn't on the FB group but I used to post on the Handbag threads and we even all met up for drinks. This was in 2007/2008.

Nautiloid · 02/08/2019 00:59

Bloody hell this thread prompted me to do a big search of Friends From Times Past. They all have amazing jobs. Some of them are really, really successful. Sulks.

Ibiza2015 · 02/08/2019 01:20

In the case you’re talking about I wouldn’t be surprised if her husband had left her for blogging about their marriage and the deletions were to try and win him back. If my DH blogged about me that would be a deal breaker.

I remember a poster on here who was going through a lot of trauma in terms of her young son being possibly sexually abused by his father during contact weekends.

I remember that too. Around the time that poster stopped there was quite a high profile case where a mother went on the run with her sons. There were quite a few similarities including a particular skin infection and I’ve often wondered if that was her.

BitOfFun · 02/08/2019 02:46

I've not read all of the thread yet, but is the OP talking about PixieOnALeaf?

Alislia17 · 02/08/2019 02:50

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Beelzebop · 02/08/2019 02:58

Er

Original poster
BobbolinaTheBitchyBrat · 02/08/2019 08:05

@plar not C, but I think I know who C is too, she moved back again to the country after the city I think?

Not pixie on a leaf, no.

Another thing that fascinates me is how quickly you can go from living one life to another - a PP said she probably had to get a job and put her kids in school - I imagine this is very likely. I have quite big gaps between my children and when I think back to who I was with my first, a decade ago, compared to now, it's like a different world. Sometimes I feel like number one was born in a different era - it wasn't that long ago really, but symbolic of how I have changed. It must be even stranger if you've gone from living a very specific alternative type of life to being "normal"

OP posts:
stayathomer · 02/08/2019 08:07

I read a lot of blogs and I once read a tweet from someone saying to send prayers for a blogger who was in hospital. She had had intermittent cancer relapses. The blogger in question still has their Twitter account open but nobody has heard from her and sometimes I just click in and hope. This thread is insanely sad but hope there's some good out of it, ie people pop up and say 'no, I'm here'

ImpracticalCape · 02/08/2019 08:36

My best friend from school. We went through so much together. I went to uni we lost touch then rekindled through Facebook in our 30's. She had a small child and was in a relationship with a decent guy.

All going well then about 6 years ago she just ... disappeared. No trace on FB. Even googling her name brought up nothing. I've FB stalked her sisters. No reference to her at all.

I miss her.

Shinygoldbauble · 02/08/2019 08:44

I remember PixieonaLeaf. I joined mumsnet because I needed support with dd's asthma.
We had a really good active support thread and Pixie contributed hugely and then one day she was gone, all posts deleted.
Vague rumours she was a troll or something. I never really got my head round it.

OriginofSpecies · 02/08/2019 09:12

I used to read a blog called Becoming Domestic. Probably around 2008-9ish. About a family who had moved to the country after high-flying city jobs. They had a smallholding and at one time lived in a commune, but it didn't work out.

It started off as a blog about family life, then became more about being self-sufficient/environmental stuff.

I loved catching up with that blog. It was when I was still commuting to work in a city centre, before kids (but seriously considering them) and dreaming of moving out to the countryside to raise a family surrounded by chickens.

Not sure when the blog was deleted, but can't find any trace of it now.

MulticolourMophead · 02/08/2019 09:17

InTheHeatofLisbon thanks for posting about oddsockshighheels, she is a poster I've often wondered about and hoped was ok.

MulticolourMophead · 02/08/2019 09:20

A lot of posters had their stuff deleted in the wake of the hacking. One of my previous usernames was on that list, so I simply changed the password. There was nothing on my account to identify me, but other people had included information.