not to tell strangers where I'm from?

[FishCanFly]

I speak with a pretty unfortunate accent and this always prompts random people to ask where i'm from. Thing is - I don't want to say. I don't mind a friendly conversation, but i don't like giving out personal info to people i don't know. AIBU?

You can feel the atmosphere going from pleasant to ‘quick hide she’ll steal your job’

And benefits. And housing. And ALL the doctor's appointments. And food. And oxygen...😁 We take eeeeverything.

Oh this is interesting then, if people are getting grief because of their accent then I'll take that on board and not ask, I wouldn't want to make anyone uncomfortable.

I dread to think what the friendly but stupid jokes would be.

I can recognise Polish, Romanian, Bulgarian and Albanian accents straight away, but I don't think I've heard Estonian, Latvian or Hungarian frequently enough to be 100% certain, for example. Are you Henry Higgins?

I was speaking to someone yesterday whose accent sounded for all the world like a cross between Scouse, Eastern European and Indian. It was extraordinary. Turns out he's Spanish.

If you don’t feel comfortable with it then you don’t have to say anything. You could make something else up

I understand where you’re coming from. I’ve got no accent. Probably because I was born on a remote Scottish isle, dad was Danish, mum was English but with German heritage. They liked to move, a lot. (They also blessed me with a very unusual first name-hated it as a child, I like it now.) Up until recently, I’d never lived in the same place for more than 5 years. So when people ask where I come from, I just say, all over the place.

I can't comprehend that any accent is 'unfortunate'.

Well, imagine that you live in a foreign country where some people you never quite know who until they manifest themselves have a particular, xenophobic set of associations with people with your accent. There's nothing you can do about it, but there's a terrible, weary familiarity in the way these conversations go.

I mean, I'm Irish and don't get accused of nicking English jobs so the OP's experience is not mine but there's a nasty Venn diagram crossover at the moment between your average neighbourly xenophobe with ingrained anti-Irish prejudice who haven't really noticed the GFA, and people with a giant grievance against the backstop who view Ireland's insistence on prioritisng its own interests as a deeply unreasonable barrier to the kind of Brexit they want.

If naming your country of origin bothers you so much, just pick the name of any Eastern Block country and say that.

I’m not white and my name isn’t English but doesn’t sound Indian either. I don’t have an accent that would particularly mark as from India. I can usually tell whether someone is using the question as chit chat and I could say Leeds and carry on and get to India eventually and when the next question would immediately be “but where are you really from?”

I dread to think what the friendly but stupid jokes would be.
Just about any nonsense you can come up with regarding Russia, vodka, or Putin.

I was chatting to a man at the bus stop once who asked me where my accent was from
"Italy"
"Oh I would have guessed Bristol"

Usually I don't mind making small talk about where me and DS are from (different colours and sometimes speaking different languages) but I can see why people are a bit wary these last couple of years.

I’ve started lying about where I was born, I was born in a former English owned country and have a british accent when people find out where I was born they often go but you don’t look like your from there...and then say racist things like you don’t have slanty eyes 🤮 sooo cringedy I hate it.

I was born in England, but spent the years from 10-20 overseas and have that strong accent. I get mimicked & asked daft questions several times a week, people ask where I’m from (usually after guessing incorrectly) then ask why the hell I'm choosing to live here , rather than there. The true answer is very personal, so I give them a broader answer , then they want to debate that ...

If people simply asked ‘where are you from?’ I’d be delighted, not offended

You should be ashamed that you think you have an ‘unfortunate’ accent - I actually think the Russian accent is quite nice.

I have an accent that is difficult to place. I hate being asked where I’m from because it’s boring for me to have the same conversation thousands of times (my accent requires explanation because it is due to having lived in multiple countries) and also it reminds me that I don’t completely belong.

In spite of that, I always give a warm and friendly answer because the questions are not malicious.

It would be very unreasonable to refuse to answer the question unless you don’t mind appearing rude.

Welcome to England.
One think we always say is ; oh...what an accent..where are you from?

If we are tired or not really paying attention we use the stand by question ‘ nicer/alful weather isn’t it. What have you got planned for the Weekend?

It’s just the thing we do, don’t take it personally we really don’t care where anyone’s from it’s just a way to ‘chitter chat’.

Personal info? They’re not asking for your actuall address I presume. What’s the big deal?

Blimey. I get asked where I'm from on a daily basis. It's never crossed my mind to have an issue with it. I have an accent because I'm not English. People ask. Usually to make polite conversation. I think your issues stem more from your own insecurities about how you will be judged as a result from coming from Eastern Europe. Which I understand because I'm sure a lot of people do judge, but to get all secretive about it is nonetheless silly. Rather address the responses - if people are rude about where you come from that's something to have an issue with. Not an innocent question asked in passing.

the number of things we're not supposed to be asking people is growing by the day. No questions about children or wanting children. Gender of children is pretty much a no go these days. Health issues are largely out of bounds. Now where you're from? It's amazing we can ever have a conversation with anyone anymore.

It could be worse OP. Try having a mixed accent because you grew up with a parent in the forces, moving around every three years - I get asked that question all the time and still don’t know how to answer it properly.

I wouldn’t consider it personal information. I’ve travelled around Eastern Europe a lot, and I’m always interested when I hear different accents at home as I live in NI which is less diverse than the rest of the UK. To me, this would just be friendly small talk, and not meant to cause offence or make the person feel uncomfortable.

I am with you OP. I never know what to do. I am quite shy and private. I am nice and polite but I don't like strangers knowing stuff about me.

It is usually buying bread or in a cafe, or just people asking for directions and I get asked.
First country, then they want to know the town. It makes me uncomfortable. I don't like talking about it or myself.
There are other things you can chat about to be friendly, I just really wish they didn't.

I think I just going to start replying "from far away" and leave it at that.
I really dread what follows after you tell them.

I sometimes pretend to have a different job than the one I actually have.
Got caught out the other week when I couldn't land the plane at Luton.

I’m not sure what the problem is but you can answer however you wish.

If I meet someone with a family name I don’t recognise, I often ask where it’s from, not because I hold views, good or bad, on any particular countries, but because I’m interested in names.

I’d hate to think my being interested is a bad thing.

I understand, OP. I'm from a "rich" European country and I don't like the question either. It's like they're saying: "You're foreign. What kind?".

@PinkiOcelot

I think you need to get over yourself OP. Do you honestly think people are really that interested ?!

Of COURSE they are 'really that interested!' They keep asking. Read the OP's posts properly!

@FishCanFly tell them you're from Antarctica. Or the Moon!

I think they are just curious, but it must get rather annoying.