not to tell strangers where I'm from?

[FishCanFly]

I speak with a pretty unfortunate accent and this always prompts random people to ask where i'm from. Thing is - I don't want to say. I don't mind a friendly conversation, but i don't like giving out personal info to people i don't know. AIBU?

I live in the south of England and every new person I meet asks where I'm from. I come from Leeds and I tell them so. I'm neither proud nor ashamed of it. Well maybe a tiny bit proud because I love Yorkshire. It's not a personal question.

I understand op. You don’t want xenophobic knobs being a dick about it.

There's no such thing as an unfortunate accent. Accents and dialects are one of our greatest natural treasures. Be proud of who you are. We are all Jock Tamson's bairns.

Why is having an EE accent unfortunate? I have lots of neighbours with that accent and no one bats an eyelid. I'm just curious really.

And I ask people where they're from because I struggle with being sociable so it's a good question for me to ask.

I dont get why you think it's unfortunate?

If it's in the context of 'Oi, you! Where yer from?', I'd be backing off very quickly, as I'd expect it to be a preamble to 'Well, fuck off back there, then'/a rant about particular people taking all the fucking jobs when the truth is that the majority of those who say that just want an excuse for staying on the dole.

Otherwise, it is probably just interested/curiosity. I can recognise Polish, Romanian, Bulgarian and Albanian accents straight away, but I don't think I've heard Estonian, Latvian or Hungarian frequently enough to be 100% certain, for example.

I'm baffled why you'd say you have an 'unfortunate accent' though. Accents are great.

Oh well if it is in a tone then you are well within your rights to ignore people.

It’s a shame you think badly of your accent
I’m ashamed there are xenophobic wankers you have to deal with, sorry you have to deal with them

I guess lots of people haven't faced a bigot asking them 'Where did you come from' with no hint of friendliness and the unspoken implication of 'and why are you here?'

I don't know what the right thing to do is really.

I would ask, purely because I can't always identify the accent..I have trouble distinguishing between a Swede speaking English and a Norwegian. The lilts are different, but I can't get them straight in my head.

I've done this before. Thought I was taking a interest and being friendly. I think this is a cultural thing. I believe polish/EE aren't too fussed with small talk and pleasantries for the sake of it, here it just manners. We are taking an interest in you!

I was speaking to a polish beautician she said "I'm busy with Polish woman as they take care of themselves". I was tempted to be offended and say a lot of Polish woman can look cheap it's not my style, but I smiled and said " that's fantastic". It's just manners.

I really understand where you are coming from. I was on a glamping holiday in Wales. I went with my DH, DD and our lovely dog to the dog-friendly cafe and the nice lady started a conversation. All was nice until she asked about my accent. She stated that in North Wales I would not be as welcomed and I am a nice person so she doesn't mind me staying after Brexit (I am a British citizen ;) but having an accent makes people prone to the assumption that I am not). She was a nice lady but it was the first time I felt that I might not be welcomed.

I am being asked this every time i open my mouth haha
And yeah some people say it in a badish way. But most are just interested.

Dont call your accent unfortunate. Just embrase it. And try to not think that all people asking were you are from are trying to tell you to go back where you came from.

Make amends with your accent. And the fact that people will always ask. And they dont ask something deeply personal. They ask you merely "where are you from".

Also: you dont have to answer

It’s a shame you think badly of your accent
Not that badly, just its such a giveaway. Also prompts people to make "friendly", but stupid jokes.

Who made her the Queen of North Wales!

If the person is seemingly an arse I just ask if it matters or get them to play guess the accent, generally gets them to leave me alone.

It's also vaguely irritating when people insist I must be Irish/ Welsh, though I've never noticed any malice TBH.

Otherwise, I just reply as it's harmless chit chat.

Interesting. I got my head bitten off by the ticket woman at my local station the other day. While we were in the queue, ds was rabbiting about Russia and asking questions about the colour of the flag, how many people live there and stuff.

When we got to the desk and heard the woman speak, she sounded like she might be from that part of the world, so I asked brightly “Oh! Are you Russian?” with a big smile.

“NO. Romania!” she snapped back and gave me a filthy look. I apologised and explained that ds had just been asking questions about Russia.

It was clearly a very sensitive subject. I don’t know if this was because she was insulted by my thinking she was Russian, or if she has been on the receiving end of abuse as a result of her accent. - Or maybe she just thought I was being nosy and it was none of my business.

So I’m interested to hear why the op finds it an offensive question.

I get it. I don’t have a foreign accent so people assume I’m English until they hear my surname. I hate the inevitable ‘where is that from? you weren’t born there though were you?’

You can feel the atmosphere going from pleasant to ‘quick hide she’ll steal your job’

I guess I get it.

I have a friend from an Eastern European country as well. She said she realised recently that she might be taken the wrong way when she asks someone where they are from.
She has no foreign accent whatsoever and no family over here so most people would think she's English and she usually asks someone if she picks up on a similar accent to her home countries in hopes they are from there too as she likes to have a face to face chat in her own language as she doesn't get to do it often.

But I can imagine it can be a bit awkward.

I work with alot of women from different places, I don't always ask straight away where they're from but when I do it's not to give them grief, it's because I'm interested in how different accents sound, and where they're from,.same way they me which.part of town I live, if I have kids or a husband. Mostly it's polite chit chat, nothing in it.
Another (older English) lady I work with asked on girl where she was from (Poland) then said oh my daughter in law is polish, lovely people.
Hope you haven't had a bad experience and that's why you don't like to tell anyone where you're from 🤗

boringlyboring I'm so stealing your last paragraph as it describes things perfectly!

Sympathies, OP. See the other current thread about an Irish poster having her accent imitated by a total stranger on a London street, and then excoriated by Mn posters for venting about it in admittedly rude terms. I don't think anyone who doesn't live in the UK with a 'non-prestigious' foreign accent actually gets how draining it can be to get the same barrage of 'jokes' and xenophobic assumptions.

I can't comprehend that any accent is 'unfortunate'. I don't particularly like mine but, hey ho, it's just how people speak where I am from (and I didn't get a choice as to where I was born).

It's massively annoying to hear "Are you from Poland?" All the time.😂 There are other countries.
I do laugh at it now. In my very strong accent...

I did get the "Oi, you! Are you Polish?!" from a random guy on a street when walking with my mum and speaking our language.
I replied "Oi, you! More countries than Poland out there. I am from xxx" and fully expected him and his mates to take a piss.
Nope. I got back "That's great, love! Love it there! Have a good trip!"
"You too!"
Mum was shocked at the randomness of the exchange 😂

I think it does depend where you are from as there are prejudices when it comes to some countries. I don't mind answering where I am from. It's a nice ice breaker.

"Tipperary. It's a long way."