Call me Robert

[Ashotatthis]

Evening

This will sound petty but it’s really bugging me. I have gone back to work after a career break. I have done the big corporate jobs and I was really looking for something entrepreneurial where I can make a real impact.

I work in a specialised area and I’m one of the top people in my field. I am unclear if my new employer is fully aware of my credentials... all he would have to do is google my name.

At my interview I was introduced to the director as Robert. On my first day at work everyone was referring to the director as Rob so I asked him “Is it Robert or Rob?” and his reply was “Rob is for friends and after work. I’m Robert.” OK, happy with this.

I speak with him 1-to-1 probably more than more than most. He praises my work. We get along great.

We’ve had the odd personal questions here and there. I don’t like to talk about my personal life at work out of choice. I also think it’s hypocritical asking me to full name him and then asking me personal questions.

My issue is that everyone else calls him Rob. In meetings, I’m literally the only person having to full name him.

I don’t know why I’m being singled out. I don’t want to make an issue out of it. Why would you ask just one person to call you by a different name?

Maybe no one else has asked him?

You do sound a bit full of yourself though, what do your credentials have to do with what he wants you to call him? If he Googles you why should that change his mind?

What's he like apart from this? It comes across as maybe a kind of putting you in your place thing but it depends on the wider context

I think you’re reading into it too much, it might be people call him rob because they have worked together for years, or don’t know he prefers Robert. I used to work with a David who was very much a David, but people who didn’t know better called him Dave (and we was too polite/shy to correct them).

He’s asked you to call him Robert so best to carry on.

And yes I’m not sure what your credentials have anything to do with the story!

Most people don't ask, I hate it when people shorten my (2 syllable) name. I would keep calling him Robert

@GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat Fair point. My credentials have nothing to do with the issue at hand. I just don’t like being singled out.

@doyoumind he’s normal in every other aspect... I have one name that I’m known by... at home, at work etc. I would find it weird for anyone to call me anything different. He is Rob everywhere... even on email. I am LITERALLY the only person he asked to full name him.

Fuck it, start calling him Boabie.

Perhaps he sees the others as friends because he has worked with them for a long time or else because he just likes them.

It could be you are new to the company so he is waiting until he decides whether you are friends or not. I do agree with PP about how you come across and maybe he wants to make it clear to you that he is senior to you regardless of your credentials. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Sparklesocks I’m not sure why I wrote about my credentials... fair point, nothing to do with the story.

He asked me to call him Robert so I will carry on. It’s just that EVERYONE else even outside the organisation knows him at Rob. I say Robert and people ask “Do you mean Rob XXX?”

@TheCanyon

You could test the water...call him Rob every once in a while and see if he notices

@TheCanyon

@AllFourOfThem oh this could be it. Yes, I am a little like that and I can come across as bit full of myself. Maybe he is just establishing his seniority... makes sense.

@Sparklesocks I would be MORTIFIED if he corrected me and said “Sorry, it’s Robert”

Honestly though, that would really piss me off. I wouldn't be singled out to call him Robert, just call him Rob.

@thecanyon I am pissed off for being singled out. Maybe it’s just him establishing his authority or seniority. Who knows?

I’m hoping he will get bored of this little game...

I'd be tempted to go for Robbie instead?

Pretend you are Greek. Call him Stamatis.

He may be on a power trip, but remember he's making only himself look like a twat by playing this game. What a cunt he would look if he had to explain why everyone else gets to call him Rob and you don't..

Br brave op, a cheery Hi Rob on monday morning.

@redcaryellowcar

I’m tempted to go for Mr XX next time. We genuinely have a great employer-employee relationship otherwise.

I’m overthinking it. I thought maybe he just wanted to make the boundaries clear... other team members have noticed. In context, it is very odd to call a person by a different name to the rest of the team.

I'd think he just assumes you could call him Rob by now but have chosen not to. I'd just call him Rob now.

@ConorMcGregorsChin haha!!! Oh I may just do this. Lol

Robalobadingdong might work?

I know someone with a two-syllable name. When I first met her, I called her by the shortened version because that's how everyone else referred to her.

It wasn't until years later that someone new asked her which name she preferred and said she was really glad the question had been asked - she actually preferred the two-syllable version.

I use the two-syllable version now as I know she prefers it, but most other people still use the shortened version out of habit. It's meant affectionately, so she doesn't complain, but it's not her preference.

Oh fuck it just call him Rob, if he corrects you just point out that’s what everyone else calls him.

@returnofthecat it’s not that. His work email is rob@companyname. He signs off his email to everyone else as Rob. He signs off his email to me as Robert. Thinking of it here... what a weirdo!!!