Call me Robert

[Ashotatthis]

Evening

This will sound petty but it’s really bugging me. I have gone back to work after a career break. I have done the big corporate jobs and I was really looking for something entrepreneurial where I can make a real impact.

I work in a specialised area and I’m one of the top people in my field. I am unclear if my new employer is fully aware of my credentials... all he would have to do is google my name.

At my interview I was introduced to the director as Robert. On my first day at work everyone was referring to the director as Rob so I asked him “Is it Robert or Rob?” and his reply was “Rob is for friends and after work. I’m Robert.” OK, happy with this.

I speak with him 1-to-1 probably more than more than most. He praises my work. We get along great.

We’ve had the odd personal questions here and there. I don’t like to talk about my personal life at work out of choice. I also think it’s hypocritical asking me to full name him and then asking me personal questions.

My issue is that everyone else calls him Rob. In meetings, I’m literally the only person having to full name him.

I don’t know why I’m being singled out. I don’t want to make an issue out of it. Why would you ask just one person to call you by a different name?

I have a two syllable name, right up to my 30s everyone shortened it. I didn’t really mind. Then I started a business and really wanted to be taken seriously so I started to introduce myself with my longer name as it does sound more grown up. It took ages as I didn’t try to change the way people addressed me unless they asked which I prefer. Now I am only ever addressed by my longer name except by family.
My brother did the same thing with his name. It’s not a big deal for either of us but I do internally raise an eyebrow if someone shortens my name these days.

I do think that sex is rumbling in the background here in some sort of way.

The official explanation is 'Rob' is for friends - but even the customers get to call him that, so there's more to it, I feel.

Are you working in a male-dominated industry/area? It can be difficult. I've worked in an environment surrounded by men and some of them were much friendlier with the other men and more formal with me, simply because I was a woman.

There's an over-compensation for a, dare I say, natural interest in the opposite sex going on sometimes. Even in a professional environment it seems to work that way.

Yes op said male dominated thinik shes the only woman

I'd be passive aggressive about it.

Call him Robert and when others say "Oh do you mean Rob X?", I'd explain that he'd specifically requested that I call him Robert because Rob is apparently only for friends and that yes I think it's very odd that everyone else calls him Rob, I wonder if it's because I'm a woman etc etc

His behaviour is odd and I bet he'll stop it if other people become aware of it.

He has asked you to call him Robert so you call him Robert. This is a non issue. Your experiendce and who you think you are is irrelevant.

Mybe he was hoping that the new guy coming in and calling him Robert would stop everyone calling him Rob which he may dislike

Oh my god!!! @CrumpetyTea RTFT 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ this has been comprehensively answered AT LEAST TEN TIMES...probably more! In fact only FIVE POSTS UP from yours, the OP does in fact try again (when she shouldn't have to, but is clearly frustrated enough to think she needs to try yet again!).

Just for you, to simplify:

1. Rob, is Rob to EVERYONE apart from the OP.

1. She doesn't know why he insisted that she has to call him Robert...his explanation doesn't wash!

1. It's clearly BOLLOCKS because EVERYONE calls him Rob! He CALLS HIMSELF Rob on emails to EVERYONE ELSE...even people he barely knows 🤷‍♀️. Everyone, that is, except the OP.

1. I suspect even the cleaner calls him Rob 🤦‍♀️ And the local homeless person...but the OP isn't allowed to...because..well we don't know 🤷‍♀️.

Perhaps we need to start a campaign to find out: #WhyRob?

Bobster
Bobsleigh
Bobajob
Bobin
Bobinandout
Bobby Dazzler
Bobcat
Bobtail
Bobeche
Bobinandoutoftrafficwhenlatefortheairport

Pick one or alternate.

Those people saying 'perhaps he doesn't like being called Rob'. Are you lacking in comprehension?

ROB introduces HIMSELF as ROB to EVERYONE else. His business cards say ROB. He signs off ALL of his other emails, to everyone else as ROB. He told the OP that he is Rob to friends. He told the OP that he was Rob outside work (clearly he's ALSO Rob to everyone else IN work as everyone else in work call him ROB and his work email sign off and business cards corroborate this!). He's clearly being a twat for some unknown reason with the OP...we don't know why so can't speculate on this. Maybe it will all become clear one day...maybe not. Some people are just twats 🤷‍♀️

Give us his email and we can write and ask. Let’s be done with all this speculation.

I’d go for Bobcat, from the list above. I think he’ll like it.

It would be very unprofessional of you to start explaining to colleagues why You call him Robert when they ask if you mean Rob. Best to leave it as it is.

It’s only of those when you start reading into things. I’ve come to the realisation that he feels just very uncomfortable to work with me. I’m the only female working in the office and I happen to be one of the top UK-wide in my area of specialism.

One day, he talks to me as if we are best friends and the next day he will make a point to disagree with me in front of our team.

Calling him Robert doesn’t sound difficult, to me.

Although Fat Bob has a ring to it.

Fat Blob, even....

Calling him Robert doesn’t sound difficult, to me.

I think you may have missed the point of the OP there.

There are a lot of obtuse posters.

OP, he's an arse, you're not imagining it and it isn't normal behaviour. It is nasty bullying to single one person out, to treat them differently than everyone else. It's his passive aggressive way of getting back at you because he feels threatened by you.

I have a 2 syllable name. Anyone I know well at work I sign off with a shortened version, anyone new gets my full name as I find it weird if someone I don't know calls me by the diminutive. My old boss used to introduce me to people by my shortened name and it really bugged me!

Piglet89 , I was going to ask that