Call me Robert

[Ashotatthis]

Evening

This will sound petty but it’s really bugging me. I have gone back to work after a career break. I have done the big corporate jobs and I was really looking for something entrepreneurial where I can make a real impact.

I work in a specialised area and I’m one of the top people in my field. I am unclear if my new employer is fully aware of my credentials... all he would have to do is google my name.

At my interview I was introduced to the director as Robert. On my first day at work everyone was referring to the director as Rob so I asked him “Is it Robert or Rob?” and his reply was “Rob is for friends and after work. I’m Robert.” OK, happy with this.

I speak with him 1-to-1 probably more than more than most. He praises my work. We get along great.

We’ve had the odd personal questions here and there. I don’t like to talk about my personal life at work out of choice. I also think it’s hypocritical asking me to full name him and then asking me personal questions.

My issue is that everyone else calls him Rob. In meetings, I’m literally the only person having to full name him.

I don’t know why I’m being singled out. I don’t want to make an issue out of it. Why would you ask just one person to call you by a different name?

Call him Bob. Or Robbie.

I wouldn't over think it, I have a feeling men don't think too much and women have a tendency to do so, I know I did, I worked in male dominated environment and workplace and found that I wasted a lot of energy on things my equivalents in other areas didn't bat an eye lid about. Be great at what you do and that will soon shine through.

Just raise it with him, outright, to the point and without any hoo ha. Then you'll know and he'll know you noted it. But don't take offence.

I'm known by four variations of my own first name, people seem to take it upon themselves to decide which to use without asking which I prefer.

Maybe it will be a post probationary thing..he'll announce at a meeting you have passed various stages of competence and can wear a four star badge and can now call him 'Rob'

Maybe he has Googled you and is threatened by your top-in-fieldness and your credentials.

@redcaryellowcar I’m the only woman. Is he wants me to full name him just because I’m a woman then I’m properly pissed off now!

I am great at what I do. He even said it to me.

Try 'Roberto' with a smirk :)

@ginandbearit if he does this at probation... I’ll be like f... it, I’m used to Robert now!

You asked him and he told you what he wanted to be called. My name is routinely shortened at work by people both senior and junior to me. I don't get too excited about it, but it's not my preference, so those who ask me are told I prefer my full name.

Could it just be that he doesn't like being called Rob at work, but nobody else has had the good manners to ask him? Or they've asked him, he's said call me Robert, and they've decided to call him Rob anyway because they've heard others do the same?
For example, my name's Josephine (not really, but similar). People shorten my name to Josie all the time. It really, really irritates me. I'm not a Josie, never have been. Close friends and family call me Jo. I'm ok with this, in fact I like it. People calling me Josie, especially people who haven't ever asked what my preferred name is, really get on my pip but I feel powerless to correct them so I just grit my teeth and bear it 😳

@LaMarschallin

I'd just say that I had noticed everyone called him Rob.

Maybe he meant it as a tongue in cheek comment at the time and now feels like too much of a dick to backtrack.

I used to work with someone like this, whom everyone called Andy, but introduced himself to me as Andrew, and corrected me when I called him Andy.

Turns out he was trying to "rebrand" himself as more professional to try and get a promotion.

It worked too, but less, I think owing to his name change, and more by the virtue of having a penis in investment banking pretty much meant instant promotion.

Long story short - it might not be personal, he might just be undergoing a slow rebrand.

I work with two women who are called the shortened version of their names. They both hate it. One is too polite to mantion it at all and people call her the shortened version even though her email, her id badge, her introductions are full name. Same was happening to second woman, so one morning meeting she mentioned it and asked people to please not to call her the shortened version. She was really apologetic which is ridiculous because she was apologising to people for asking them
Not to call her something other than her name!!!!!

Just call him what he has asked you to call him. It is his name.

@HUZZAH212 this could be it. In fact this would be a more normal explanation.

I am unclear if my new employer is fully aware of my credentials... all he would have to do is google my name.

Surely he knows your credentials? He’s employed you, they must have checked out your CV?

OP I dare you to call him Bobert.

You'll always get another job, it'd be worth it.

I wouldn't call him anything.Problem solved.

I don't know. Maybe he prefers to be called by his full name but every other fucker shortens it without asking. I have something similar to this and get called the 'wrong' nickname quite a bit (e.g. Katie for Katherine when I prefer Kate type thing) and it drives me mad. But I feel I sound like a finiky asshole when I correct people all the time so I've given up, inwardly sigh, and respond to whatever I'm called. Maybe he really appreciates being asked and will be secretly thrilled to be called what he prefers in a work setting. You never know, it may stand you in good stead at some point in the future. Fuck what everyone else does, call him by the name he has directly expressed to that he prefers. Maybe you can refer to him as Rob to your colleagues when he's not around so they know who you're talking about, but I'd definitely adhere to his wishes.

I don't think you're overthinking it at all! That's fucking weird right there. If everyone else calls him Rob then you simply ARE being singled out.

What is it? Some power thing? Some initiation type thing until you pass muster then feel grateful when he tells you that you may now refer to him as Rob??

Fuck that, what a knobber. Call him Rob. If he corrects you, give ye olde head tilt with a "Really?". Then job hunt

Or call him Rab.

Actually, does your name extend? Liz/Elizabeth? Tell him you've decided that he must address you as xyz. And only him.

And just to reiterate-knobber

Your credentials are important because you feel it makes you more his equal, therefore worthy of being able to use " Rob"?

Why don't you refer to him as Rob when he isn't present and you are talking to other people, and Robert to his face?