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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should these people go home!!

257 replies

Lou780 · 27/07/2019 20:00

I have made a trip to London for weekend..to see dh.. marriage is on rocks and we haven't seen each other for weeks. He has new flat in London as works there during week and normally comes home at weekend. Not for few weeks though for various reasons. So here iam..we go for lunch with a friend of his and his new wife..youngcouple only 28. We are 45. Ok I think..lunch will be fine. But that was 1pm and they are STILL here!!..I have come through to bedroom and can hear them cackling and putting loud music on Alexa and drinking. Iam so fed up. Do much for spending time with dh. They will not take hi t..I have asked them to lower music as I have a headache. I then went in and asked if o could put TV on..dh obliged but they kept talking loudly about first date first time they had sex going into detail..I have up and came back onto bedroom. I have nothing in common with young wife she is not interested in talking to me ..I tried o we lunch. But she is loving holding court in living room right now..so is dh. Iam crying in bed room.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lou780 · 27/07/2019 20:02

Why are they not picking up on over staying wrlcome

OP posts:
gardenbats · 27/07/2019 20:03

I think this is much more about DH. He doesn't sound as though he is sharing your frustrations

Countrylifeornot · 27/07/2019 20:03

Sorry OP, but it doesn't sound much like your husband has the same ideas as you about a weekend alone together Flowers

Original poster
Lou780 · 27/07/2019 20:03

If I go in living room they just ignore me..talk work and mutual events they all have been too..they atedrunk now and literally just had a 20 mins conversation about weather she should die her hair rred

OP posts:
nitgel · 27/07/2019 20:03

If they're all drinking they will prob keep going. I'd go out to the pictures and leave them to it

Original poster
Lou780 · 27/07/2019 20:04

Oh I agree iam fuming at dh..iam fuming at all of them actually

OP posts:
WhenISnappedAndFarted · 27/07/2019 20:04

It sounds like you want them to go but your DH wants them to stay.

Original poster
Lou780 · 27/07/2019 20:05

I just eantto put PJ's on and watch Poldark...iamnot fucking 28 anymore..

OP posts:
Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername · 27/07/2019 20:06

Go home? Are u in a position to just leave and travel back ?

Original poster
Lou780 · 27/07/2019 20:06

Tbh I don't know if dh wants them to stay..but he won't tell them to leave and I have given them enough hints...he will probably blame me for being boring and antisocial

OP posts:
Pipanchew2 · 27/07/2019 20:07

YANBU but No point bringing it up with DH now if he’s drunk and exploding in front of his friends will probably make situation worse. Like PP said go out but definitely discuss with DH once he’s alone and sober.

Pipandmum · 27/07/2019 20:07

You have to take the bull by the horns and go back in there and say ‘well it was lovely to spend the afternoon with you but we have things we need to get done this evening’. And then just stand there with a big smile and if that doesn’t get them to their feet say ‘I’m sorry to have to put and end to this lovely day but I’m just here for the weekend...’

Original poster
Lou780 · 27/07/2019 20:07

No I have a train booked for tomorrow...stuck here till then..live 3 hrs away...these friends live 3 doors down from dh flat

OP posts:
GreenTulips · 27/07/2019 20:08

Loads to do in London.... why hasn’t DH arranged something more interesting

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/07/2019 20:08

Is this a snapshot of his life now? Having a laugh, getting drunk, acting like he's the one who matters? Sounds like he likes the status quo.

BobTheDuvet · 27/07/2019 20:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StapleYourTongue · 27/07/2019 20:08

I do genuinely understand why you’d be upset by this but

  • I’m assuming they don’t know about your current relationship issues and your behaviour towards them is very rude
  • This is on your DH and maybe you need to look into this further as to why he’s not wanting to spend time one on one when you haven’t seen each other for weeks.
TixieLix · 27/07/2019 20:09

If I was you I wouldn't be staying OP. Your DH is being very disrespectful. If he doesn't tell these 'friends' to leave then you should make your way back home and tell him you thought you were coming to see him, not his so called friends. I'm sorry the weekend hasn't turned out how you planned Flowers.

Original poster
Lou780 · 27/07/2019 20:09

I just wanted to know if you all think iam justified in being upset? Because iam pretty sure dh will be annoyed at me for this

OP posts:
UrsulaPandress · 27/07/2019 20:10

Is Poldark on?

Original poster
Lou780 · 27/07/2019 20:10

They do know about all our issues..in detail...

OP posts:
Original poster
Lou780 · 27/07/2019 20:10

Poldark on I player. Smile

OP posts:
BobTheDuvet · 27/07/2019 20:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nitgel · 27/07/2019 20:11

Of course you're justified to feel like that it's pretty crap.

MRex · 27/07/2019 20:12

If it were me I'd text DH or privately grab him and agree a tactic e.g. "Oh no, look DH it's 8pm and we were meant to be dropping in on Sue at 7.30. I'm so sorry guys, we have to rush out like 45 minutes ago, so lovely to see you though, let me get your coats and then I'll text Sue that we're on our way!"