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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should these people go home!!

257 replies

Lou780 · 27/07/2019 20:00

I have made a trip to London for weekend..to see dh.. marriage is on rocks and we haven't seen each other for weeks. He has new flat in London as works there during week and normally comes home at weekend. Not for few weeks though for various reasons. So here iam..we go for lunch with a friend of his and his new wife..youngcouple only 28. We are 45. Ok I think..lunch will be fine. But that was 1pm and they are STILL here!!..I have come through to bedroom and can hear them cackling and putting loud music on Alexa and drinking. Iam so fed up. Do much for spending time with dh. They will not take hi t..I have asked them to lower music as I have a headache. I then went in and asked if o could put TV on..dh obliged but they kept talking loudly about first date first time they had sex going into detail..I have up and came back onto bedroom. I have nothing in common with young wife she is not interested in talking to me ..I tried o we lunch. But she is loving holding court in living room right now..so is dh. Iam crying in bed room.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 27/07/2019 22:23

@Sunshine93 I didn't suggest throwing them out. I said she should leave quietly, leaving him a note.

WhoKnewBeefStew · 27/07/2019 22:25

YANBU OP. But I think this is more about your DH. If he wanted to save his marriage and spend time with you he'd have kicked them out. They are being rude not including you, so your dh should either include you or ask them to leave. Seems to be all about your dh and nothing about you. Doesn't sound like much of a marriage to save

buttertoasty · 27/07/2019 22:25

Sorry OP I don't think he in bothered about your marriage anymore.

Candymay · 27/07/2019 22:27

I’d never manage to be assertive in this scenario- but it would be great if you could manage it. It really doesn’t matter if they want to gossip about you afterwards. So what? Try saying something. It will help you feel better.

TheFridgeRaider · 27/07/2019 22:27

@HollowTalk they are. Sadly it just hasn't hit home fully.
Rocky marriage, living separately - separation.

I do agree with other pp that OP should just make a dignified exit

ReanimatedSGB · 27/07/2019 22:30

If he has rented this flat in his own name (OP just says he has 'got' a flat) then she has no rights at all over it.

Again: he isn't being very nice to OP but it does rather depend if he invited her to visit or if she just insisted she was coming or even just turned up without warning. She says she 'hasn't seen him for weeks' which does give the impression that he considers the marriage over already.

Llioed · 27/07/2019 22:31

Hey Op, are you ok? Flowers

Sunshine93 · 27/07/2019 22:40

HollowTalk fair enough i just am responding to the idea that just because it's her property legally she should kick them out. I think i referenced the wrong person based on reading one post but not a previous post. Sounds like we agree.

DaisyChainsGetBroken · 27/07/2019 22:43

Sounds crappy o0

QOD · 27/07/2019 22:44

Did they go ?

positivelypuce · 27/07/2019 22:46

What a dickhead you have for a husband OP

Please don't lower yourself to go in and demand the other couple leave, hold your head high, pack your bag, quietly slip out and go stay in a hotel for the rest of the night. Switch your phone off. Go home in the morning and then divorce the arsehole.

How dare he, having not seeing you for weeks, disrespect you like this. Take the respect back and let him have his mid life crisis.

I have zero tolerance for shitty behaviour from a partner, I'd have been long gone.

Take care x

C0untDucku1a · 27/07/2019 22:53

Ov dear op. Your dh has already checked outZ

AnyOldPrion · 27/07/2019 22:56

Hope you're okay, OP. Sounds like a shitty situation. When/if you leave him, can I recommend starting a thread in relationships? I recently left my marriage of 23 years and the Mumsnet team were brilliant.

cheesemongery · 27/07/2019 23:00

Your DH is avoiding the issue.

julensaor · 27/07/2019 23:05

Stick to him now. Tell him to clear them out right away. If you can't then maybe your relationship is really on the rocks. No way should you be just fuming upstairs.

dontdoxmeeither · 27/07/2019 23:28

I'd pack and leave. Absolutely no point in talking to drunk people.

Sorry Thanks

merlotqueen · 27/07/2019 23:35

The couple aren't in the wrong, they have been invited and although the OP doesn't enjoy their company, the DH clearly does and has chosen to spend time with them in his flat rather than his DW who he hasn't seen for weeks.

OP, I'm with the other posters - just pack a bag, find a hotel, watch Poldark online and enjoy a lazy morning to yourself.

As for the marriage, well your husband has shown you what he thinks, take back control and tell him what you think.

RedHatsDoNotSuitMe · 27/07/2019 23:37

I hope you're ok, OP. The fact you haven't come back to this thread for a while suggests something's going on. I hope it's positive.

Craptop · 27/07/2019 23:39

Op started this thread at 8pm. 8pm! Do none of you have a laugh with your mates at 8pm on a Saturday night? Do you have to be under 28 to be up past 8pm on a Saturday night?

Some of you are really reaching with your mad theories.

Craptop · 27/07/2019 23:41

Op why don't you have a laugh? Get involved? Rather than skulk off before 8pm. Might do you good to have some fun, then you and dh can dissect the evening together over a night cap before bed.

Italiangreyhound · 27/07/2019 23:41

OP what time did they finally go?

BobTheDuvet · 27/07/2019 23:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Craptop · 27/07/2019 23:43

But did op and her dh actually discuss what they were going to do this evening or did the day just evolve into this? We don't know. Either way not sure being a miser helps anyone

Craptop · 27/07/2019 23:43

*misery not miser!

TheHandsOfNeilBuchanan · 27/07/2019 23:43

@Craptop I thought it was just me! I feel a bit sorry for the neighbours, invited n out then given Paddington hard stares until their friend's wife goes to bed at 8.....