Should these people go home!!

[Lou780]

I have made a trip to London for weekend..to see dh.. marriage is on rocks and we haven't seen each other for weeks. He has new flat in London as works there during week and normally comes home at weekend. Not for few weeks though for various reasons. So here iam..we go for lunch with a friend of his and his new wife..youngcouple only 28. We are 45. Ok I think..lunch will be fine. But that was 1pm and they are STILL here!!..I have come through to bedroom and can hear them cackling and putting loud music on Alexa and drinking. Iam so fed up. Do much for spending time with dh. They will not take hi t..I have asked them to lower music as I have a headache. I then went in and asked if o could put TV on..dh obliged but they kept talking loudly about first date first time they had sex going into detail..I have up and came back onto bedroom. I have nothing in common with young wife she is not interested in talking to me ..I tried o we lunch. But she is loving holding court in living room right now..so is dh. Iam crying in bed room.

Stay strong in public, don't let him see he's got to you. Walk out tonight or tomorrow and never look back. Cry all you want when he's out of sight.

I'm actually feeling quite concerned about OP! Hope you are okay and just taking a breather hopefully at home!

Your dh is your soon to be exdh
He had already checked out of the marriage
You should too

I still think the key point is whether the OP was invited to his new flat or whether she insisted on visiting - it might well be a case of the H having already said the marriage is over. Bye. And then she turns up on the doorstep, insists on coming in and spends the day whining, despite having been told that the marriage is over. He's got a flat away fro the home he shared with OP, he hasn't wanted to see her for weeks... it does sound just a little like she's been dumped but is still chasing someone who's already binned her. And he's either too 'nice' or too wet to have told her to fuck off, so he's got his mates round to stay until she gets the hint.

To be fair, Reanimated, if his work in London is 3 hours away from home, that's the reason for getting a flat and staying in London through the week, not that he got a flat away from OP because he judged the marriage was over.
It's quite pathetic the number of times I've seen married men revert back to single behaviour when they live away from home for work, and have no responsibility to anyone else in their non work time. Seems very common. And of course it's going to have a negative effect on the marriage. Selfish.

Hope everything is ok op.

I hope you’re ok OP. Obviously not a fun weekend.

just walk out without a bye or leave.
If dh asks why you did that,just ask him why he let them take your time together.
They are obviously more important to him.
Go home and don't return

She posted on Saturday, had a return ticket booked for yesterday so she will be home by now.
Hopefully she will update us all when she is ready, as is only polite. Then we can give the hand hold she needs because I suspect things are a bit raw at the moment.
Further advice on what to do last Saturday is redundant.

Op started this thread at 8pm. 8pm! Do none of you have a laugh with your mates at 8pm on a Saturday night? Do you have to be under 28 to be up past 8pm on a Saturday night?

Under normal circumstances, of course that would be fine. But these aren't normal circumstances. OP's marraige is in trouble, she and DH haven't seen each other for weeks and she has travelled to another city to spend time with him before she has to get the train back the next day.

Honestly, in OP's position I'd be pissed off that he'd arranged lunch with friends in the first place. They're his neighbours, he can see them anytime but OP was only there for one night and they've been apart for weeks! The fact that he then allowed their lunch to turn into an all day thing and carried on drinking with them into the evening sends a pretty strong message that he prefers the company of his new friends to that of his wife.

His behaviour also suggests that he's either minimising the problems in their marriage or that he doesn't see it as his equal responsibility to fix them. Where was the effort? He knows his marraige is on shaky ground and his wife, who he hasn't seen for weeks, is travelling to see him for one night only- so why hadn't he planned something special for the two of them? Even cooking for her at his flat so they could talk properly would at least show he cared. Instead he made the choice to prioritise spending time with his new friends and OP is supposed to just go along with it, smile and be sociable, pretending she's having a great time listening to strangers tell anecdotes about their sex life whilst her DH gets drunk and ignores her.

He's a selfish bastard.

Reanimated-what a cold callous piece you’ve written, which is in whole almost backing the husbands behaviour. Judging by your comments he clearly didn’t have the guts to discuss it properly and seriously lacked any form of sensitivity towards his wife. OP if you’re still reading our comments, whatever happens I wish you the very best.💐

If you were going down to London to spend time with your husband because your having problems then you should absolutely have not gone out with this couple at all, even for lunch. Who arranged it? The whole point of your visit is wuity time very much needed with your husband.
If it is something that he has arranged then I think that's a clear message that he's happy to prioritise other people

@ReanimatedSGB

What a nasty work of fiction! There's no evidence at all that any of that is the case. Pointless and unpleasant speculation, seemingly designed just to upset and insult the OP.

My dh did this on our six month wedding anniversary and couple ended up drinking the bottle of champagne I bought and the top tier of our wedding cake. Dh just thought it was a great evening even though I was obviously furious. They will go eventually and then you and your dh need to have coffee and croissants and discuss where you're going as a couple and why this evening upset you. Don't whine, explain. You must have felt he was worth marrying. We managed to sort things out and are still together twenty years later btw...

Why are men such cockwombles. Check out of a relationship with no discussion or if you try to discuss problems accuse you of "moaning/complaining"? Wish mine would f off to a flat in London (or timbuktu). Hope you've selvaged something OP even if just your pride

To some posters. I am pretty confident the couple left already😂

You say that FridgeR but we have friends who have been known to stay a weekend on a Friday night supper! But hope OP is OK and didn't challenge things while sad/angry and the others drunk. It sounds as if there are complex issues but counselling can help

Are there children involved Lou780 ?
If not, it will be easier to disentangle yourself from this narcissistic ( your words on another thread ) man.

OP I've been following this thread and I hope by now you've managed to sort things one way or another. I have to agree with the majority of posters and say I think he's treated you appallingly and I believe done so deliberately in order to get his feelings across without being man enough to say so. For your own sanity, dignity and self respect, please move on. Head held high and know that nobody will ever make you feel this way again because you will choose better next time. OP please let us all know that you are ok. X

*@smilingontheinside * Cockwombles!

It sounds to me like he is having some sort of pathetic mid-life crisis and is trying to be 28 again. If they only love 3 doors down, they could do this any time, you have gone specifically to see him and try and sort your marriage out.
I hope you got everything sorted eventually OP.

IAmBumblebee??

It made me laugh!

IAmBumblebee it is a very good word, accurately describes quite a few of the males I work with, one of my favourite at the moment

So..... Well... when did they leave? Or are they and you still there?