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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DH has disappeared and left son at a festival

945 replies

dogletsrock · 27/07/2019 00:04

My DH is a recovering alcoholic and has seemed to be doing really well. He took my 15 year old son to a festival today at the other end of the country. At about 7pm he told my son he was going to the toilet and has not been heard of since. My son has Aspergers and is in the tent really scared. I cannot get there until 11 o’clock tomorrow as they have the car and I will have to get a train. On one hand I am beyond angry but also terrified as he has tried to kill himself when drunk before. I am beside myself with worry. What can I do?

OP posts:
Purpleartichoke · 27/07/2019 00:06

Can you rent a car and get there sooner?

CazM2012 · 27/07/2019 00:06

I’m so sorry this has happened, can you ring the local police to the festival? They could assist your son and maybe look for your DH?

AddNameHere · 27/07/2019 00:06

Contact the police? If your son is scared, he needs to be in good hands
I hope someone here can give good advice

OldAndWornOut · 27/07/2019 00:07

Do you have a number for the organisers of the festival?

HollaHolla · 27/07/2019 00:07

In your situation, I’d call the police. It sounds like your son has a mobile, so the police could contact him to pick him up. Your husband also sounds vulnerable, so I’d have thought they might possibly take him to hospital.

Cucuclown99999 · 27/07/2019 00:07

Oh my goodness op. How scary for you and your son Sad
If it was me. I would call the police.

katewhinesalot · 27/07/2019 00:07

Can a friend drive you? It is an emergency situation.

KeepFuckingOff · 27/07/2019 00:07

I would call 111 and explain the situation, they may agree to send a local officer to do a welfare check on your son.

GiveMeAllTheGin8 · 27/07/2019 00:07

Contact the police? Is there anyone else you might know at the festival?

Chilver · 27/07/2019 00:07

Can you call the police where they are and get them to do a welfare check?

Sounds so worrying, I hope you get some positive news soon.

BlackeyedGruesome · 27/07/2019 00:08

also suggest ringing the police to go find your son and dh. both need help.

katewhinesalot · 27/07/2019 00:08

Police too.

Drogosnextwife · 27/07/2019 00:08

I would call the local police. They will have officers at the festival or be able to contact officers at the festival, they could help your ds. They may even bring him home as he is a minor.

SleepingStandingUp · 27/07/2019 00:09

Can you stay in the phone and talk your son through going to find help from security? Are Samaritans in site? If you're willing to tell me which festival, I catell you if thry are. That would go e son a safe place to be, he doesn't even need to talk, he can just be there (I'm a festival Samaritan but not working this weekend)

Blueemeraldagain · 27/07/2019 00:09

There will be people there who can help your son. I know it might be difficult or maybe even impossible with his ASD (my brother has Asperger’s too) but I would really try and encourage him to let someone at a Help/Info/First Aid point know what’s going on.

covetingthepreciousthings · 27/07/2019 00:09

I'd also contact local police, hope all is ok OP Thanks

Schmoozer · 27/07/2019 00:09

Call police
No hesitating

HappyintheHills · 27/07/2019 00:10

Ring the festival - I’ve volunteered in a welfare part of a festival and know that there are people who would be able to help him.

JustLooking2019 · 27/07/2019 00:10

Call the police and get a cab or lift from friend to the festival. You must be so worried and you are not going to sleep tonight if you don’t go

Original poster
dogletsrock · 27/07/2019 00:10

I can’t rent a car until 9am tomorrow and the train will be faster. I am chatting to my son on the phone, Maybe I could see if he could talk to someone who works there. I am not thinking straight really

OP posts:
PoptartPoptart · 27/07/2019 00:10

I would call the police op. Your son is a vulnerable young person alone in a tent miles from home. Your DH is a recovering alcoholic and has vanished for over 5 hours at a festival whilst in charge of your son.

IamAporcupine · 27/07/2019 00:11

Could you say which festival?
Maybe you are lucky and a MN is there or lives in the area and can help?
I know I would if I could.

Is your son OK? Could he ask for help on site?

Blueemeraldagain · 27/07/2019 00:11

Even if he can just find them and put you on the phone to speak to them if he can’t do it.

SleepingStandingUp · 27/07/2019 00:11

Samaritans are at Y Not and a Kendal Calling. Meanwhile I'd call Police from your end x

UrsulaPandress · 27/07/2019 00:11

Which festival? Someone on here may have contacts.