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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DH has disappeared and left son at a festival

945 replies

dogletsrock · 27/07/2019 00:04

My DH is a recovering alcoholic and has seemed to be doing really well. He took my 15 year old son to a festival today at the other end of the country. At about 7pm he told my son he was going to the toilet and has not been heard of since. My son has Aspergers and is in the tent really scared. I cannot get there until 11 o’clock tomorrow as they have the car and I will have to get a train. On one hand I am beyond angry but also terrified as he has tried to kill himself when drunk before. I am beside myself with worry. What can I do?

OP posts:
MostlyAmbridgeandcoffee · 27/07/2019 00:23

Or any friend or family who could give you a lift ??

RubbingHimSourly · 27/07/2019 00:25

Op. Is it Kendal calling ??

darkcloudsandsunnyskies · 27/07/2019 00:25

The police can help in a case like this and should be your first contact.

BlackCatSleeping · 27/07/2019 00:26

Your son is safe in the tent. Try to reassure him and hopefully he will get some sleep.

There’s not much you can do until the morning.

Hope you get some sleep too. Flowers

quitefranklyivehadenough · 27/07/2019 00:26

OP where are you? Just thinking if any Mumsnetters could get you to Derbyshire tonight? How worrying xxx

Janleverton · 27/07/2019 00:27

At this stage you don’t even know that your dh has gone on a bender - all your ds knows is he went out to go to the loo and hasn’t come back. I’m not saying he hasn’t lapsed, just saying that under the circs I think the police would want/need to track him down as well as helping your ds.

Original poster
dogletsrock · 27/07/2019 00:28

111 are going to try and get in touch with the police at the festival. They have taken my details so I am just waiting

OP posts:
jocktamsonsbairn · 27/07/2019 00:29

I calling the police is your best option. Wish I was nearer to help. Hope they get help to him soon.

Janleverton · 27/07/2019 00:29

You must be so worried - you did absolutely the right thing calling.

RubaDubMum89 · 27/07/2019 00:29

OP, I'm so sorry this is happening, what an awful time for you.

Are you able to Persuade DS to take a few steps out of the tent to see what he is near? Fences, toilets, barriers, other distinctive tents. Also, could he do something to make his tent distinctive before he goes back in? A torch on the roof of it or a tshirt tied to the front guy ropes? Just so it might make it easier for whoever goes looking for him to find him quicker

Whisky2014 · 27/07/2019 00:29

Tell your son to go to the first aid tent

SleepingStandingUp · 27/07/2019 00:30

Samaritans are located next to the Quarry @dogletsrock

Even if you can convince him to sleep tonight, they'll also be there tomorrow. They move to by the foodstands when arena closes at 3 so I assume then assume they'll move back I ntbe morning at 6 or 9.

If he needs a safe place to talk or not, he'll be safe there x

tempester28 · 27/07/2019 00:30

Not Festival 2019
Mouldridge Lane Pikehall Nr Matlock Derbyshire DE4 2PH

View on Map

Add to Favourites

08449670001

Email

Visit Website

Original poster
dogletsrock · 27/07/2019 00:30

I can’t think what else he has done as he is brilliant when sober and wouldn’t dream of doing this. When he is drunk all bets are off. He has been doing so well for ages

OP posts:
quitefranklyivehadenough · 27/07/2019 00:31

@dogletsrock where are you? Can any of us help you get up there sooner than tomorrow?

MsJaneAusten · 27/07/2019 00:32

I hope someone is back in touch with you soon. How is your son doing?

FreddiesMammy · 27/07/2019 00:32

Is there no way a friend can take you?

Original poster
dogletsrock · 27/07/2019 00:32

Thank you so much. He doesn’t want to leave the tent tonight but I will tell him to go there in the morning

OP posts:
ReanimatedSGB · 27/07/2019 00:32

Sending kind thoughts to you and your poor DS. You've had good advice and there are people on site who will be able to help him.

IamAporcupine · 27/07/2019 00:33

I've looked at the website OP and cannot find any numbers either. There is only the TicketOffice, I rang but it's just a recording now.

I am still hoping that a MN might be able to help

Flowers
Giraffey1 · 27/07/2019 00:34

I’m glad you’ve contacted the police as advised, they will help make sure your boy is safe and try and track Dow your H. Please let us know who you get on x

SleepingStandingUp · 27/07/2019 00:34

@dogletsrock no worries, it's what we're there for. I hope the a police can help tonight or you can settle him enough tonight for him to sleep. And praying DH is safe as well

SleepWarrior · 27/07/2019 00:36

Oh no, so tough on you being far away. Sounds like you're doing a great job of keeping your son calm while panicking yourself.

Most likely scenario is that he's done something on a normal level of stupid like got drunk and can't find the tent/gone to sleep in the wrong tent. Or hopefully not involving an alcohol relapse at all. Police advice is good though.

Hang in there Flowers

Original poster
dogletsrock · 27/07/2019 00:36

A police man just called me and took my sons phone number. They will ring him first as it will be quicker than trying to find him and they will make a plan with him. They can either then find him or talk him to them.

OP posts:
IamAporcupine · 27/07/2019 00:36

Just saw your update - is your son ok at the moment? do you think he'll manage to sleep?

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