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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DH has disappeared and left son at a festival

945 replies

dogletsrock · 27/07/2019 00:04

My DH is a recovering alcoholic and has seemed to be doing really well. He took my 15 year old son to a festival today at the other end of the country. At about 7pm he told my son he was going to the toilet and has not been heard of since. My son has Aspergers and is in the tent really scared. I cannot get there until 11 o’clock tomorrow as they have the car and I will have to get a train. On one hand I am beyond angry but also terrified as he has tried to kill himself when drunk before. I am beside myself with worry. What can I do?

OP posts:
NeckPainChairSearch · 27/07/2019 02:05

OP, we're not too far away and don't have a madly busy weekend planned, in case it's helpful. Hope all is well.

Dhalandchips · 27/07/2019 02:11

Aha ha! Outed @SleepingStandingUp 😋😉😘
Hope ds is OK OP, and your H too... X

QueenOfPain · 27/07/2019 02:16

Signal is very, very patchy at pikehall (have been to Y Not before), so if he can get a good signal in his tent it’s probably a good place for him to stay to be able to keep in contact with you.

Festivals can be a daunting place at night when it’s dark and you’re surrounded by drunk people, he will likely feel much more able to go for help in daylight.

notangelinajolie · 27/07/2019 02:19

Aw OP hope all is well. You must be worried sick Flowers

NaviSprite · 27/07/2019 02:43

Another one saying call the police - I hope all is okay

NaviSprite · 27/07/2019 02:47

Sorry my thread didn’t update before I posted- glad you called the police and I hope you and your son are getting some sleep Flowers

Monty27 · 27/07/2019 02:53

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SofiaAmes · 27/07/2019 03:02

Once you have all been reunited, please download an app onto your phones (or do whatever signing up you have to do) so that you can track the location on both your dh's and your ds' mobiles.

Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername · 27/07/2019 03:03

Can't add anything more useful than what PPs have already said, but wishing you the best of luck for tomorrow

Halloumiwrap · 27/07/2019 03:17

Thinking of you OP. What a desperate situation for you.

ChristOnAScooter · 27/07/2019 03:30

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Original poster
dogletsrock · 27/07/2019 03:31

There has been no news of my husband and I really can’t sleep.

OP posts:
Lilyofthefields · 27/07/2019 03:33

You’re not alone OP.

Lilyofthefields · 27/07/2019 03:34

(I meant, “please don’t feel alone “).

orangechocolatey · 27/07/2019 03:35

Thanks you must be going out of your mind. Thinking of you, hope there's some good news very soon

Lilyofthefields · 27/07/2019 03:35

Could you try a sleep hypnosis on YouTube?

Original poster
dogletsrock · 27/07/2019 03:37

I am sorry if I didn’t live up to your expectations but I really wasn’t sure what to do. I didn’t want to waste the polices time and I haven’t been to a festival like that and there is very little info on the website that could help me. I just wanted some advice. I was and am very scared.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 27/07/2019 03:38

I wouldn’t worry about trying to sleep. Is there anything that might distract you? TV etc?

Hopefully you’ll have news soon.

Original poster
dogletsrock · 27/07/2019 03:38

I don’t have anyone who can just drop everything to help me.

OP posts:
Lilyofthefields · 27/07/2019 03:40

Don’t take @ChristOnAScooter’s comment to heart. I completely understand why some people would turn to MN.

AnnieOH1 · 27/07/2019 03:43

@dogletsrock - if it is easier for you look at trains to Chesterfield or Sheffield, I'm quite happy to come pick you up from either station and drive you out to Matlock to get sorted.

Do you have a spare car key in order to drive the car home?

Have you managed to contact the festival directly at all? I'm just wondering if your DH was taken ill and unable to tell the workers his son was still there whether they'd have a record of him (or even a John Doe) being sent to hospital or something.

Don't be scared of approaching your friends or family for help now either, it is an emergency situation and I'm sure that they would be willing to leave their kids with their dads/grandparents to drive you up here to Derbyshire.

I doubt you're going to get any rest worth a damn, is there anything practical you can be doing now like getting together food, RAC/AA membership copy, finding emergency car locksmith in Matlock if you don't have a spare, clothes, extra charging packs etc.

Could you look on traveline and see whether a coach to a nearby city and then direct train to Sheffield might be faster than a local train service and then messing round with a train to Matlock?

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 27/07/2019 03:43

Has there been any contact back from cops /samaritans OP?

Is your son still awake?

Hoping for a swift postive outconeFlowers

MrsWilkinsonAthome · 27/07/2019 03:43

So sorry this is happening. It does sound like your ds has coped brilliantly and is understandable he is worried and scared. Hopefully he is asleep and will wake up in the am fo a snoring hungover dad beside him.

I also hope your dh is ok.

LagunaBubbles · 27/07/2019 03:45

Hope everything is OK

Original poster
dogletsrock · 27/07/2019 03:51

I think my son is asleep. I have my key to the car so once I get there I can get us home. @AnnieOH1 thank you so much. I have got a train to Buxton and I assume I can get a cab from there.

I still haven’t figured out what to to about my husband. I know they say you just have to let them get on with it and deal with any consequences. I am so angry with him I am not sure I can forgive him.

OP posts: